Wolfsbane
by enitsirk
Summary: Sequel to The Moon Divides The Wolfsbane Potion is a delicate potion and should never be tampered with. But when it is, the consequences can be deadly. COMPLETE
1. Wolfsbane

Wolfsbane  
Chapter One

The custody had been granted and the circumstances had been set. Rachael Lupin had finally been granted full custody of her daughter, Lily. Lily had been living with her adoptive family the Jameson's until the end of her sixth year at Hogwarts. The circumstances set were that Lily was to spend a full month with Rachael with absolutely no contact with the Jameson family. Once that month was up she would be able to speak and visit them whenever she liked – no strings attached. Rachael had to admit, she was a bit concerned about how Lily would take these rules. Undoubtedly, she had finally accepted Rachael as her mother; she couldn't help but feel that she might not like being cut off entirely from the family she had spent sixteen years of her life with, even if they weren't her biological relatives. When she confronted Lily about it, Lily said she didn't have a problem with it.

Mrs. Jameson picked Lily up off the platform at Kings Cross Train Station and brought her back to their house where she would spend that day packing her clothes. Rachael would be coming during the afternoon the next day and would be taking Lily to her new home. It was an odd moment when Lily met Mrs. Jameson off the train; she didn't know what she should call her. Mrs. Jameson sounded too stiff; mum wasn't the correct title and calling her by her first name seemed wrong. In the end, she just decided to avoid calling her anything for as long as she could and concentrated on her packing. Packing, however, didn't provide a good enough distraction since she had turned seventeen in January and was now a fully qualified witch, meaning she was permitted to do magic outside of school. It only took her ten minutes to pack her trunk and clean out her owl, Sapphire's, cage.

Once she knew everything was in place, she resigned to the privacy of her room, making it known that she didn't want to be disturbed unless it was an emergency. She sat on her bed, leaning against the wall and beckoned her owl over to her. Sapphire flew over and perched herself on Lily's wrist, hooting softly as Lily stroked her absentmindedly; her eyes closed as she mulled over the new life ahead of her. She didn't know what it would be like, all she knew was that she was comfortable with the life she had. She didn't know if she wanted to leave it and go live with Rachael. What did she really know about her true mother? She didn't know anything about her really, nor did she know much about her new family, save for what she knew from what Sirius said about the Blacks. All she really knew was that Sirius was her father, who was related to a bunch of pureblood freaks. Remus was her uncle, but he was dead, just like Sirius. All she knew about her mother was that she had to give her daughter up. None of that information was really enlightening or pleasant. She couldn't even find out any other information as her mother was pulled back to her job at the Ministry, with many protests, and wasn't able to reveal any more news.

Remus wasn't able to provide her with much information either. As a matter of fact, he seemed highly reluctant to reveal anything to her; it was almost as though he was hinting there was something shady in the past and that he wasn't the one who should tell her. Whatever it was, it was going to have to be exposed to her eventually.

There was a knock at the door which broke her out of her thoughts.

"Who is it?" she asked, suddenly feeling glad about the interruption.

"Riley," said the Jameson's nineteen year old son.

"Come in."

The door opened and Riley backed into the room, carrying a tray of food. He stopped at the nightstand and placed the tray on it. "Mum said you didn't have to eat with us if you didn't want to," he explained.

"Thanks." Lily wasn't really in the mood to eat, but she had to keep her mind off of things, and what better way to do that than with food? Riley nodded and began to leave, when a thought crossed Lily's mind. "Did you know?" she asked, stopping Riley as he was about to walk out the door. He turned and looked at her curiously. "I mean… did you know I was adopted? Were you old enough to understand what it meant?"

Riley sat on the foot of her bed and nodded his head.

"Yeah," he said. "I didn't understand. I didn't know how the whole process went; I thought you were really my blood sister. You look nothing like us, but I didn't think it mattered. I kept thinking that until I was seven and Mum thought I was old enough to understand. She told me that you weren't really my sister, how you were someone else's kid, but we were taking care of you because they couldn't. She also told me that you were a witch, but I wasn't allowed to tell you, considering the circumstances."

"That my mum wanted to tell me," Lily supplied.

"Yeah. To be honest, we never thought your real mother would ever come to get you, so we took it for granted and never bothered to tell you that you were adopted. But I wanted to tell you this before you leave - no matter what blood flows through your veins, you will always be my sister."

* * *

"It's not as big as your old room, but it's not small either."

Rachael opened the door and brought Lily into a fairly large room, the room that would be her new bedroom. The room was already supplied with a bed directly across from the door, a nightstand standing next to it. There was a bookshelf next to the closet door and a dresser beside the shelf. The walls were painted a pale green colour and the floor was devoid of any carpet. Lily dragged her trunk over to the bed and dropped it on, while Rachael held Sapphire's cage and placed it on the dresser.

"I'll help you unpack," Rachael offered.

"No," said Lily, a little too quickly perhaps. "No… I'll do it. I don't need help." Rachael looked taken aback for a second, before offering yet again. "No, really, I don't mind helping. Besides, it'll give me time to talk to you and to get to know you better."

Lily hesitated for a moment, still not wanting any help, but she knew it was only right and therefore nodded. Rachael smiled and moved over to the spot where Lily had placed her posters. Rachael shifted through them all, admiring them, but saying nothing until she stumbled upon the Rolling Stones one.

"The Rolling Stones!" she said happily, holding up the poster and looking at it in a flattering sort of way. "You _are_ my daughter!"

Lily looked up from the stacks of clothes she was putting away and saw Rachael holding the poster. "Yeah," she said slowly. "Yeah… I like them."

After that, the two didn't talk much. Neither of them knew what to say. So, to avoid the moment when conversation was inevitable, they spent as long as they possibly could putting everything away. But it only took them an hour to finish.

Rachael stood in the middle of the room, trying to think of something while Lily sat on her bed. "How about Quidditch?" she said at last.

Lily raised an eyebrow at her. "What about it?" she asked.

"Do you play?" Lily nodded and beckoned her owl over to her. Rachael faltered for a moment, watching as her daughter stroked her owl, before asking, "What position?"

"Chaser."

"You know, I'm surprised you're not a Beater."

"Why?"

"That was the position Sirius was best it."

"He played for Gryffindor?"

"No, he tried out in second year, but he made one little mistake that cost him the position."

"Oh… Did you ever try out for Quidditch?"

"No, I only liked watching it, commentated once in a while though. You got your talent in Quidditch from your dad." Rachael smiled slightly, glad that they had something to talk about. She was never good with awkward silences. However the awkward silence had crept up again and this time she wasn't the one who decided to break it.

"So, what other family do I have besides you?" Lily asked.

"Not a lot," Rachael admitted sadly. "There's me and you know most of the Blacks are dead, except maybe Bellatrix and Narcissa."

They both made a face of disgust at the mention of those two; it was better to have no relatives at all than to be related to scum like them.

"Well, what about on your side of the family?" Lily asked a hopeful tone evident in her voice.

"It's just your grandmother," Rachael replied. "Your grandfather never had any siblings, and Remus obviously never got married. There may be some distant cousins, but none that I know of."

Rachael waited for the next question, fearing that it might be the question she had been dreading. Much to her surprise, the next question never came as Lily excused herself to the bathroom. Rachael watched as her daughter left the room and sat down on the bed.

She knew this was going to be strange, for the both of them, but she just didn't know what to do. There were only so many questions she could avoid that would lead to the uneasy revelations about her childhood. The truth was going to come out eventually. She only hoped she and her mother could pull off acting like there had been no animosity between them. Her mother was sincerely sorry about all she had done in the past, there was no denying that. They had not seen each other since Remus's funeral and weren't able to talk about why she had done what she did. She didn't have to wait very long for the chance to talk to her, as she had invited her mother over for dinner. She had already devised a way to get Lily out of the house so they could talk. She had to say, that living five minutes walking distance from Hogsmeade had its perks. She would just give Lily some galleons and send her off. While the thought was still fresh in her mind, she pulled a handful of gold out of her pocket and left it on the dresser.

Still, she couldn't help but worry about her mother not knowing that Rachael had given up Lily when she was a baby. How would she take that? Would she possibly say that Rachael hadn't given her up for a good reason? Would she say that there was no reason to be afraid since they had apprehended Sirius a day or two after Lily and James died? But that wasn't the only reason she had given her daughter up. She didn't want to turn out like her mother and cause her daughter to live a life of pain and suffering with a mother who didn't care about her. She did _not_ want her daughter to have the sort of childhood she had. If that was any reason to give her daughter up, it had to be good enough.

"What's the shed for?"

Rachael jerked her head up and saw Lily had reentered the room. Just by looking at the expression on her face, it was clear she wasn't happy. She had forgotten that the window in the bathroom overlooked the backyard and she could see the newly installed shed standing there. Also, judging by the tone in her daughter's voice, she already knew what it was for, and she didn't like it one bit. Rachael felt bad about doing it, but it had been on Professor Dumbledore's orders. He needed the Shrieking Shack (which was where Lily usually went during her transformations, even though she had the Wolfsbane Potion; it was just a precaution) for Order meetings and couldn't house Lily there on full moons. She would go beyond the gates for every full moon and Apparate to her mother's house.

"Professor Dumbledore needs the Shrieking Shack and thought it would be best to-"

"To lock me up?" Lily interjected angrily.

"Well yes… but-"

"But what? You're my mother; you're not making a very good first impression if you want me to accept you."

"Lily, I didn't want to do this but Professor Dumbledore _needs_ the Shrieking Shack. Even though you take the potion every full moon, you need to come here and transform in that shed."

"What does it matter?" she snarled. "They don't need to keep it a secret anyway!"

When Rachael opened her mother, no doubt to ask why, Lily shook her head and merely muttered that she'd like to be alone. Lily sat on her bed and leaned her head against the wall. She was going to transform in a shed. That sounded primitive to her. Even though she knew that werewolves were never accepted in her society, at least people could have the decency to give them a proper place to transform. Did they think that the werewolves liked feeling pain? If they did than those people were just sick. It wasn't fun to feel like your entire body was being ripped apart. The times when she didn't use the Wolfsbane Potion were the worst times of her life. The very pain would make her want to keel over and die. That potion was the only thing standing in the way of her talking back to Snape during classes. If he didn't make those potions for her, she would be a lot worse off than she was.

She rubbed her temples tiredly and discovered that she suddenly felt bad for snapping at her mother. Rachael was genuinely sorry about what she had to do. She knew that Rachael didn't want to, but it had been on the Headmaster's orders. For a minute, it seemed as though they were getting along just fine, talking about Quidditch and all. When they got to the family tree she found herself feeling slightly disappointed. The Jameson family had been considerably large; the extended family stretched on for miles and miles. Her real family, however, seemed so miniscule compared to them. And then there was her father's side of the family. She would have given anything to not be related to people like the Blacks, the kind of people she couldn't stand. She knew it was selfish to think in such a way. She knew she should be happy that she had a father as great as Sirius, but she couldn't help but wonder what people at school would say. Everyone still believed Sirius to be a murderer, even though he was dead and they had hard evidence that he was innocent. She could only imagine what people would say if they found out he had a daughter.

Things had already been hard for her at school when everyone found out she was a werewolf. If it wasn't for that then she would have no problem with everyone knowing her true identity. But for everyone to know she was a Black _and_ a werewolf… that was too much for her to handle at once. _If it wasn't for Malfoy, if he didn't have to be so nosey_, she thought bitterly. If Malfoy hadn't become suspicious of her monthly disappearances, no one would have ever had to know what she was. Of course he had done to her what Hermione had done to Profession Lupin and deduced that she was a werewolf. Hermione, however, had kept it quiet and Malfoy decided to expose it to the entire school. When she entered the Great Hall the morning after, she was greeted with a round of howls. She had to duck down and run to the Gryffindor table, burying her face in a book and trying with all her might to shut out the howling, all the while wanting to either burst out crying, or vanish into a puff of smoke. She couldn't bear to think of what people would do to her if they found out her true surname was Black. She didn't care if she was being selfish; she just couldn't take it anymore.

She didn't care anymore. If she wanted to survive her seventh year she would have to make a decision - Jameson or Black? She had thought of adopting Lupin as her surname, but it made her feel bad thinking about her uncle's death, and it wasn't her _real_ surname. Jameson wasn't her true surname either. It was just the title she had taken when she thought she knew who she was. In the end, she decided not to worry about it; she would know what to do when the time came for it. Besides, the doorbell rang and her mother was calling her downstairs.

Curious as to whom it might be, she got up from her bed and hurried downstairs. At the foot of the stairs, she saw her mother standing with someone who she recognised as her grandmother.

Rachael smiled and called her over to say hullo. "Lily, you remember your grandmother don't you?" Lily nodded. She couldn't help but notice that her mother looked slightly nervous. "Well, I invited her over for dinner, so let's go to the kitchen."

Lily hung back and let her mother step ahead of her, as she still didn't know where the kitchen was. They entered the room to see spare ribs, corn on the cob and salad spread across the table. Lily and her grandmother took seats opposite of each other, while Rachael took a seat at the head of the table.

For a while there wasn't a sound but the clinking of forks to plates and the thudding of the bottom of the glasses. No one seemed to know what to say until Mrs. Lupin chanced to break the silence.

"So, Lily," she said, glancing up at her granddaughter. "How old are you?"

"Seventeen," Lily answered quietly, though wondering why her grandmother didn't know this already. _Old people forget things_, she reminded herself.

Mrs. Lupin smiled and continued her interrogation. "How are you doing in school? What's your best subject?"

"I'm doing well… I passed all my O. in fifth year, except Divination. And I guess my best subject's Transfiguration."

"Ah, you got that from me."

"Did I?" She turned to Rachael, who was evidently listening intently to the conversation. "Mum, was that your best subject?"

"No," she said. "No, I was better at Defence against the Dark Arts," She looked over at her mother, who was watching them oddly. She clearly picked up that something wasn't right.

"Rachael," she said slowly. "Why wouldn't she know that?"

Rachael shifted uneasily in her seat and Lily knew straightaway that she had made a mistake. Obviously her grandmother hadn't known she was put up for adoption. But why wouldn't she know? Then she remembered when she met her at the funeral; her mum had said that her grandmother never knew that she and Sirius had gotten married and had a baby. Her grandmother had apologised as well… More importantly – _why _hadn't she known and _why_ did she apologise?

"Well, you know how crazy things were during Voldemort's time," Rachael said, her voice light in an attempt to keep a good atmosphere. "When everyone thought Sirius had killed Lily and James, I got scared… and I put Lily up for adoption."

Mrs. Lupin nodded in a somewhat understanding way, but Lily was only more confused.

"Wait," she said. "Why didn't she know that?"

Rachael refused to answer her question, feeling that it was too soon for her to know.

Mrs. Lupin, on the other hand, took the liberty of answering. "Well, we've had many differences in the past."

Rachael groaned inwardly. Why was her mother doing this? She wasn't the person to tell Lily what had happened.

"Then, was that why you apologised at the funeral?" Lily asked.

"Yes, I realised that I was wrong about everything I had done in the past."

"But what did you-"

"Lily!" Rachael interrupted loudly. "You know, it's still early and it's just a five minute walk to Hogsmeade from here. I left some gold on your dresser, why don't you go get it and go there for a while? Honeydukes' got a new shipment of Fizzing Whizzbees. You like those, don't you?"

Lily nodded, her eyes travelling from her mother to her grandmother. "Did I say something wrong?" she asked, sounding rather guilty.

"No! No, of course not. Get a move on if you want to get back before it gets dark!"

Lily unwillingly got up from the table and dashed up the stairs, snatching the money and hurrying out the door. Rachael and Mrs. Lupin waited until the door slammed shut and listened carefully as Lily's footsteps retreated away from the house. Once they were sure she was gone, Rachael turned to her mother.

"As you can see, I haven't quite gotten around to telling her that yet," she said.

"Clearly," her mother muttered. "And why haven't you?"

"Well, we haven't had much time together and, to tell you the truth, I don't want to tell her yet. I want to be more familiar with her first."

Mrs. Lupin scoffed at the idea. "She would have found out eventually, being familiar with her won't help that."

"And the only way she _will_ find out is if I tell her, and I'm not ready to."

"I suppose when she gets back you should tell her."

"No, I will tell her when I'm ready. I just need to clear some things up with you, while you're here." Mrs. Lupin nodded. She had been expecting this. "Why'd you do it to me? What did I do to deserve it?"

Mrs. Lupin sighed and rubbed her temples thoughtfully. How could she explain it to her? She knew that no explanation could ever make up for the pain that her daughter suffered. But she had to say something.

"Do you remember in your fifth year when we ran into each other in Hogsmeade?" Rachael nodded, how could she possibly forget that meeting? It had been the first time she had seen her mother since she came to Gryffindor Tower, unannounced and unwelcome. She wasn't likely to forget what happened to her that night any time soon.

"And, do you remember how Mr. Gibbins told you it was anger issues? Well, he wasn't lying."

"Wait," said Rachael, her eyes narrowing dangerously. "All of the _hell_ you put me through was because of _anger issues_?" She couldn't believe it! How could anger issues drive her mother to do the things she did? Anger issues could _not_ have been the reason that she was abused so much. She had to be lying… she just had to be!

"Mum," she said, her voice breaking slightly. "Stop lying. You hated me and you know it. Remus was always your favourite." Mrs. Lupin shook her head sadly. Her daughter had seen right through her lie, but she didn't want her to know the truth, that she was right. She did hate her daughter, but not anymore. "Mum, stop lying to me! I'm old enough to handle the truth! I'm thirty seven years old; I'm not a little kid anymore. If you hated me, or still do hate me, just tell me."

Mrs. Lupin didn't know what to say. She couldn't lie to her daughter, who was now an adult and could handle the truth. It just wasn't easy to say that Remus's accident, though it wasn't Rachael's fault, had been all her doing and gave her an excuse to express her anger towards her. She didn't even know why she hated her. It all started a little after the twins' birthday. She just couldn't explain it; she only knew it to be true.

"You're right, I can't lie to you," she said quietly. "I did hate you… the feeling just came up, it was just something about you."

"That I was with Remus that day," Rachael finished. Her mother nodded shamefully. Rachael looked down at the floor and shook her head; this was how it started all the time. It always started with the day they went into the forest… the day that started everything. She just couldn't believe that it was that one thing that made her mother hate her so much. "Mum, you know I didn't do anything and that Remus didn't have enough time to make an excuse for me. I never did anything; I didn't deserve to be sent to an orphanage. You should have never beaten me up or have done anything to drive me to do the things that I did. I spent my entire life until fifth year trying to make you see reason. All I wanted was to make you love me like you used to."

"Why until fifth year?"

"Because I had a talk with my friends, the only people left who cared about me after dad died. They said if I'd done all I could then I should give up. Why should I devote my life to something as useless as trying to make you see that I didn't do anything?" She took a deep breath and leaned back in her seat. "I remembered what Sirius told me in our second year after I went to the Whomping Willow. He told me you weren't worth it, and if you couldn't see how great I was, then why should I try?"

"Sirius has always given you advice, hasn't he?" Mrs. Lupin asked.

"That was what made him such a great friend. He was always there when I needed him, except now. It'd be so much easier to get through to Lily if he was here; he loved her so much…" She looked up wistfully for a second, before clearing her throat and coming back to reality. "Anyway, I really just wanted you to forgive me… and you did at the funeral. I just needed to know _why_."

Their conversation was cut short by the slamming of the front door and Lily appearing in the doorway, holding her left hand on her right with a pained expression on her face. She asked her mother if there were any bandages, as she had a run-in with a particularly angry dog on her way to Hogsmeade. Immediately Rachael's motherly instincts took over and she hurried to the bathroom. She found a roll of bandages in the medicine cabinet. She came back into the kitchen and saw Mrs. Lupin inspecting the cut, a look of disgust on her face. Rachael stood over her mother and looked at it over her shoulder. There were teeth marks on both sides of her hands and a large amount of blood coming out, mixing with the dog's saliva. It looked extremely painful.

"I've felt worse," Lily admitted, her eyes still squinted in pain.

Rachael nodded as she began wrapping the bandage around the bite; she knew very well that werewolf bites hurt much more than a dog bite.

"Did you see the dog's tags?" Rachael asked once she was done applying the bandage. Lily nodded. "Are you sure?" Lily nodded again. "What was the dog's name?"

Lily thought for a moment before saying, "Snitch."

"Okay, good. You'll be okay; you've sustained much worse haven't you?" Rachael stood up and checked her watch, and turned to her mother. "Mum, it's getting kind of late," she said pointedly. Mrs. Lupin took no hesitation in Disapparating, leaving Rachael and her daughter. Lily looked at the bandage and turned to her mother.

"I'm kind of tired," she said. "I think I'll go up to bed. G'night."

"Night."

Lily hurried up to her room and, not even bothering to change, dropped down on her bed and stared up at the ceiling. She had to admit, she thought Rachael's parental instincts might have been dulled in the past sixteen years, but they hadn't been at all. Rachael had probably been looking far and wide for her daughter; the instincts would never have had a chance to die. Because of this, Lily found herself thinking that maybe life here wouldn't be that bad after all.


	2. Black's Heir

Chapter Two

Chapter Two  
Black's Heir

"Very good, Jameson, five points to Gryffindor," said a very pleased Professor McGonagall as she observed Lily successfully transfigure the colour of her eyes.

Closing her eyes again, Lily attempted to change them from green back to blue. Opening her eyes and glancing at her reflection in the window, she saw she had done it. Leaning back in her seat and checking her watch, she saw that there was only two minutes left in class. Everyone around her was frantically trying to complete the assignment before the before the bell rang.

Once the bell rang only five students had managed to complete the assignment – Lily, Hermione Granger (of course), Ernie McMillan, Terry Boot and Pansy Parkinson. The entire class was eager to leave, as it was the last class of the day and this lesson had been considerably brutal. Everyone did a mad dash towards the door, except Lily who told her friends to head on to dinner. She would catch up with them later; she needed to discuss something with Professor McGonagall. She hesitated for a moment before going up to the professor's desk. Professor McGonagall looked up from her paperwork and said,

"Can I help you, Jameson?"

"Yes," she replied, feeling awkward. "I just wanted to ask if… if… if you could call me by my _real_ surname."

Professor McGonagall started so fast she dropped the ink bottle she was holding. Lily ducked down just in time to catch it and place it back on the desk before it shattered. "Thank you," said the professor, though she did not sound relieved. "Now… your _real_ surname?"

"Black," Lily supplied.

"Well," the professor breathed, sounding thoroughly startled. "I never thought I would see this day. I knew you had found out, but I never thought you would wish to be called Black. At the very least I thought you would adopt Lupin as your name."

"I had thought of that, but it seemed too strange."

"Your mother will be happy to hear that. She had been worried that you would want to be called Jameson for the rest of your life."

Lily smiled. "I thought of that too, but I don't think Sirius – or Dad I guess – would want that."

Professor McGonagall looked up reminiscently for a moment, before coming back to reality. She gestured for Lily to sit down, while she took a seat as well. "No, your father wouldn't have wanted that," she said fairly. "But it would still be your decision to make. Your mother should never have given you up."

"She was scared," Lily argued. "After hearing from her own brother that Sirius had killed Harry's parents, why wouldn't she be scared?"

Professor McGonagall suddenly looked reluctant when she next spoke, and it showed it her tone.

"Yes, she was scared of that, but – I don't suppose she's told you much about her childhood, outside of Hogwarts, that is." Lily shook her head. In truth, she knew very little about her mother's _Hogwarts_ days. It just wasn't a topic Rachael liked to talk about. Professor McGonagall nodded her head in understanding. "I suppose she won't ever get over what happened to her."

Lily raised an eyebrow. What could have been so horrible about it that it scarred her for life?

Professor McGonagall sensed what was going through her student's mind, so she elaborated. "Your mother didn't have a very good relationship with your grandmother." Lily nodded. She knew that much, she just didn't know what. Now she was finally going to get the answers she had been longing for, the answers her mother wouldn't tell her. "Your mother was accused of being the reason that your uncle was bitten by a werewolf." Lily's eyes widened, that was absurd. "Yes, it was rather ridiculous," the professor agreed as though reading her mind. "But Rachael was fine her first year here; it was her second year when things went bad."

"What do you mean?" Lily asked, a little too eagerly, but she wanted answers. However, taking one glance at her teacher's expression showed her that Professor McGonagall thought it wasn't her place to disclose this information. "I get it. My mum has to tell me."

"Yes she does," the professor concurred. "I _will_ tell you that her life wasn't all bad. Her second and fifth years were just rough patches. After that everything came together until… until…"

"Until James and Lily Potter died."

"Sirius would never have done it, but we were all too scared to realise that wasn't the kind of person he was. I should have convinced your mother that, I should never have let her give you up."

"What?"

"I was the one who handle your adoption; I handpicked the family that was going to adopt you. I figured you were better off with a Muggle family; no wizard family would take you in. The Jameson family didn't care if your father had murdered thirteen Muggles; they knew it wouldn't affect you at all." Professor McGonagall glanced at the wall clock and down at her watch. "Dinner is already halfway over, why don't you go down there now and see what's left." Lily nodded and made to leave. "And Lily," said the professor. "Do not be ashamed of your surname."

Lily smiled. "I won't professor." She shut the door behind her. She was halfway down the hall, thinking about what she had heard, when an only too familiar voice spoke from behind her. She turned around to see a boy with sleek blonde hair and cold grey eyes - Draco Malfoy. His grey eyes were shining madly, which gave her the distinct impression that he heard something he shouldn't have.

"Black?" he said, smiling menacingly. "So, the infamous Sirius Black has an heir? And it's _you,_ of all people?"

Lily's eyes flashed dangerously. This wasn't the right day for Malfoy to pick a fight with her.

"Yes it's me," she said, letting her pride show in her voice. Out of the corner of her eyes she saw several first years scurry off in the other direction immediately after she said that. She now knew what it felt like to be Harry.

"The traitor, Black!" Malfoy exclaimed, relishing every moment of this confrontation. "I can hardly believe it!"

Lily's insides burned with rage. She tried to conceal it when she spoke, but failed dismally.

"Shut it, Malfoy," she spat, almost ready to whip her wand out. "You, of all people, should know he wasn't a traitor! Why don't you go ask your father who's so chummy with Voldemort?"

Malfoy's face, if possible, grew paler than it already was. He took a threatening step towards her and, for a moment, lost the use of his tongue. Lily took advantage of this.

"What's wrong, Malfoy?" she snarled. "Afraid to admit your dad's right up there with Voldemort on the list of the biggest scumbags on the planet?"

"Don't you insult my dad," he muttered evilly.

"Don't you insult _my_ dad," she retorted.

"I'll insult anyone I please! Whether it's your dad, your filthy mother, your half bred uncle, or you, you disgusting werewolf!"

"That's it!"

Before Malfoy knew what happened Lily's wand was out and she held it in between his eyes. She wanted to blast the brains right out of him; she wanted to make him feel so much pain that he would be reduced to a crying heap on the floor. Before she even got a chance to utter a hex, Professor Snape had run over and snatched the wand out of her hand. She turned to look at him and saw his eyes were blazing wildly.

"Black!" he spat. Lily didn't even bother to wonder why Snape had called her Black, when she had only just asked Professor McGonagall moments ago. She was too angry with Malfoy to care. "What did you think you were doing?"

She wanted so much to give him a snappy comeback, but the looming thought of the Wolfsbane Potion kept her from doing so. "I… you didn't hear what he said!" she defended lamely.

Snape laughed harshly and twirled Lily's wand in between his fingers. "Oh and what _did_ he say?" Snape questioned.

"He was insulting my family and me!"

"Oh, but Mr. Malfoy hardly needs to insult your family, they're a joke on their own." This touched the wrong nerve.

"Shut up!" she yelled, stealing her wand back and backing up towards the stairwell. "Just SHUT UP!" She turned on her heel and broke into a furious run towards the Great Hall, the events that had just taken place flashing before her eyes as she desperately tried to block them out. Oh, how she hated Snape and Malfoy. Words couldn't describe how much she despised their very existence. She didn't understand how Snape could defend such a rat. Then again, Snape was no better with what he said. She burst into the Great Hall and immediately spotted Ron, Hermione and Harry. They were talking to Ron's little sister Ginny and Neville Longbottom and paid her absolutely no mind when she sat down.

Only when Hermione turned to see that she was on the verge of tears did they notice her. "What happened?" she asked, her voice full of concern.

Lily shook her head wildly, trying to block the tears the wanted to fall.

"I hate them!" she finally spat, her voice breaking.

"Who?" Ron asked.

"Malfoy and Snape! The stuff they said to me… I hate them!"

The three looked down at her sympathetically; they seemed to know what had taken place without even asking.

"Malfoy knows you're a Black," Harry stated. She nodded miserably. "And he decided to rub your family history in your face."

"Yes! He said my dad was a traitor, my mum was filthy, Remus was a worthless half breed and I'm nothing but a disgusting werewolf! And Snape only made it worse by saying no one needed to insult my family because we were bad enough on our own!"

"But that's just Snape and Malfoy," said Hermione, trying to offer words of comfort. "They don't know what they're talking about."

"I know they don't… I just can't take it anymore! First Malfoy tells everyone I'm a werewolf and now he's going to make it public knowledge that I'm a Black. I'm not ashamed of it… but I can't take it anymore!" She rubbed her hands over her face and took a trembling breath, all the while thinking _I'm not going to cry_. She barely listened as Hermione talked to her, saying that she shouldn't let Malfoy and Snape bother her, they weren't worth her time. But the confrontation was still blaring in her ears and prevented her from hearing half of what her friend was saying. She hated them and no one was going to make her think different.

"Aw, did I make you cry?" Malfoy drawled.

They looked up to see Malfoy smirking at them. Lily grimaced and wiped her eyes clean. Did Malfoy ever learn when to stop? He was milking this for all it was worth.

"Go away," she muttered.

"Is that the best you've got? I would've thought that with Black as a father you could think of something better," he mocked, smirking.

"Shove off, Malfoy!"

"What is going on here?"

All five heads turned to see Professor McGonagall striding towards them. She stopped when she reached them and looked over to Malfoy, who didn't look the least bit deterred by the professor's appearance.

"Mr. Malfoy, I believe your table is over there," said Professor McGonagall, pointing a finger at the Slytherin table. Reluctantly, Malfoy retreated to his table, the smirk not leaving his face for a second. She waited until he was seated before turning to the four Gryffindors.

"What was Mr. Malfoy going on about?" she asked them.

"Nothing, Professor," Harry said quickly.

"Well, it must have been something to reduce Miss Black to tears."

Harry, Ron and Hermione turned to find Lily's face buried in her hands, her shoulders trembling dangerously.

"Its not just Malfoy," she said, looking up at the Transfiguration teacher. "It's Professor Snape too!"

"And what did the Potions Master say?"

"That my family is a joke."

Professor McGonagall shook her head and excused herself to have a few words with Professor Snape. Lily looked up at the staff table to see the two professors bickering, and it looked like Professor McGonagall was winning. Lily was glad about this; she couldn't stand that sorry excuse for a man. She didn't care if he never made the Wolfsbane Potion for her again; it was as if he was holding that over her head. She looked at the food on the table and decided she wasn't very hungry. Saying she would see her friends later, she left the Great Hall and made her way down to the Quidditch Pitch.

Sitting in the stands, she found herself wanting to see her mother. She didn't know why, she found that she wasn't as interested in finding out why her second year was so horrible. She just needed someone to talk to. If being ridiculed for being a werewolf wasn't enough, why did they have to make fun of her because she was a Black? She couldn't help who she was born to, and being related to Sirius wasn't being related to a cold blooded murderer. She remembered those little first years running away in terror when Malfoy shouted her surname. Was that what Harry felt when they were in their fifth year? He had everyone skirting him in the corridors as he passed, and all of those horrible stories written about him and Dumbledore. He probably felt worse than what she was feeling. Word hadn't spread around the castle yet, but she had no doubt in her mind that it would be by the time she woke up the next morning.

She hated this, she really did. Why was it that people like Malfoy could walk away from fights unscathed, but the good people are the ones injured or the ones who break down? Burying her face in her hands once more, she sat on the bleachers and closed her eyes tightly. It had been in May of her sixth year. She had disappeared for a good number of days during that entire year, and, of course, Malfoy couldn't resist finding out why she would vanish and she knew he would go to any lengths to find out why. The day she walked into the Great Hall and heard all of the howling, it was like nails scratching on a blackboard. Her eyes were wide in terror when she heard it; she stood rooted to the spot before she was able to collect herself and dash over to the Gryffindor table, where she hid in her Charms textbook. Professor McGonagall realised what was going on and immediately deducted fifty points from Slytherin, and from anyone in any other house that participated in the ridiculing. That day was right up there in the worst days of her life.

Looking around, she saw a group of people in red robes standing in the centre of the pitch, looking for something… or someone. Checking her watch, she realised she had Quidditch practise. She high-tailed it out of the stands and hurried to the changing rooms to change into her robes and grabbed her broom from the shed and ran onto the pitch, apologising for being late. The team turned upon spotting their captain's arrival.

"Sorry," she said, catching her breath. "I've been having a bad day."

"It's alright," said her fellow Chaser, Ginny Weasley. "So, are we learning any new plays?"

Lily shook her head; she had spent all of the previous practise drilling them in numerous new plays. "Nah, we're just going to run those plays, do a scrimmage and that should be enough before the break."

The team sighed in relief at not having to learn new plays. Immediately they kicked off and began the practise.

* * *

"Black, in case you're forgetting, you're supposed to come to me for the potion. I do not want to look for you all over the castle."

Lily had just entered the castle after Quidditch practise and Professor Snape had seemingly come out of nowhere. He looked like he would rather shove the goblet down her throat than hand it to her. She had been walking up the steps in the Entrance Hall and Snape had descended upon her like a vampire.

"Oh," she said, not bothering to keep the hostility out of her voice. "I'm sorry if I forgot, but I _did_ have Quidditch practise." She snatched the goblet from the professor and downed it in one gulp, though wanting to vomit it back up due to the nauseating taste. Snape took the goblet back from her.

She dashed up to Gryffindor Tower and thought she should start packing some of her robes. Christmas break started the day after next and she would be going to her mother's house to spend the holidays. A few days after Christmas, however, would be the full moon and she wasn't looking forward to it. She hated that the transformation had to be so close to New Years Eve; she usually had a good time with the Jameson's on that day. Now she would be spending it recovering from her transformation and catching up on lost sleep.

Shaking the thought out of her head, Lily began packing some robes into her trunk, waiting for Hermione to come to the dormitory. Right now she was alone, not even Parvati or Lavender was in the room, but she didn't care. They would interrogate her about why she had broken down in the Great Hall and would try, as they thought they were doing, to comfort her. Usually when they attempted to comfort someone they made them feel worse.

Luckily when the dormitory door opened it was Hermione who strolled in, holding her Ancient Runes textbook. Hermione smiled at Lily when she saw her and sat down on her bed.

"How're you feeling?" she asked.

Lily immediately knew that she was referring to her spat in the hallway with Malfoy and Snape, and then the one following in the Great Hall. Lily shrugged, she still felt bad, but not as much as before.

"Okay, I guess," she answered truthfully. "Just a little tired."

Hermione nodded.

"Full moon's coming isn't it?" she asked.

"Yeah… next Friday, I think. I just took my potion before I got up here."

"Snape didn't seem too happy when Professor McGonagall talked to him. You shouldn't have yelled at him."

"Why not? He insulted my family, that's the least I could have done."

"It's just… I was talking to Harry before, and what he told me worries me, no matter how far fetched it seemed. Snape could take whatever Professor McGonagall said to him the wrong way, and he could take his anger out on you."

Lily raised an eyebrow; she doubted Snape would do anything of the sort while Dumbledore was watching him. Harry was on to something, though. Snape _could_ take it the wrong way. The only thing was - how was he going to do it? What did he have of hers that he could use against her? Unless… no… he couldn't.

"You wouldn't think it would be the Wolfsbane Potion, do you?" she asked her friend timidly. Hermione didn't answer at first, but slowly nodded her head when Lily asked her again.

Lily's eyes widened, she had just taken the potion not even an hour ago. What if Snape had done something to it? What if he tampered with it and now it was digesting in her? But she felt fine, nothing could be wrong with her. After all, Snape wouldn't dare pull something with Professor Dumbledore watching his every move. Would he? Hermione seemed to have guessed what she was thinking because she assured her that he wouldn't try anything, it was just a thought.

"I hope it is," Lily muttered as her stomach lurched painfully.


	3. January Moons

Chapter Three  
January Moons

Lily walked through the rows of graves, squinting at the names engraved on them, until she came upon the one she was looking for. She knelt down and put her hand on top of the tombstone and read the engraving. She could hardly believe that it had been half a year since Remus Lupin died; it seemed longer. Giving her wand a complicated wave, she produced a bunch of flowers and placed them on the grave.

"I would've brought Honeydukes' chocolate, but I don't reckon the people who work here would like that," she said, grinning a little. Sighing and gazing up at the sky she looked back down at the grave. "Looks like you got off the hook tonight," she continued, jerking her head towards the sky. "I guess you would rather have to suffer tonight than be six feet under, wouldn't you?" She picked up one of the daisies she had placed on the grave and looked at it thoughtfully. "Mum said you were pretty fond of these whenever you were forced to pick a flower. I bet James and Sirius would've found it pretty funny. Sirius would-" but she stopped herself suddenly. "I dunno… I call him Dad, I call him Sirius. It's weird… You think I should just call him Dad?" She felt a little silly asking the grave for advice, but she still felt that Remus was able to provide her with words of comfort and good counsel. "I mean, it took me a while to accept that your sister was my mother, it should be easier with Sirius, shouldn't it? I've known him longer… or I _knew_ him longer, I guess. I don't even call you 'uncle' yet. I should though, shouldn't I? After what happened to you and all… it's the least I can do."

She gazed at the engraving, though not really seeing it, her mind was fogged with the memory of the day they found out he had died.

He had been on a mission for the Order of the Phoenix; he was on his way to see the werewolves. He was ambushed by a pack of Death Eaters and, taken completely by surprise, having no time to react, they stunned him almost immediately. The fact that it had been a full moon the night before did not help one bit. Once he recovered, Lucius Malfoy engaged him in a duel. Lucius was moving with a rage, wanting to get revenge on one of the men who had sent him to Azkaban, before his fellow Death Eaters, as well as himself, broke out. Remus was running out of breath, his eyes were sliding in and out of focus, and he could barely utter the hexes. Lucius knew this too; he knew his opponent's disadvantages and therefore took advantage of this. Before Remus knew what was happening, there was a rush of green flying towards him. His life didn't even have time to pass before his eyes before he fell to the floor… dead.

She closed her eyes, trying with all her might to block out the following image… when they had discovered Professor McGonagall and Arthur Weasley carrying his limp body into the castle. She, Hermione, Ron and Harry had been exiting the Great Hall after dinner and the Entrance Hall was empty except for the two wizards. Remus's body was obscured by Professor McGonagall's side and this only made the four more curious, so they snuck over, completely unnoticed. That is until they saw what the two were carrying and their hearts stopped beating. McGonagall and Arthur turned when they heard footsteps. When they spotted the onlookers they didn't know what to say except,

"He put up a good fight."

But that wasn't enough to make up for seeing the pale face of their former Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher, and long time friend. The memory made Lily whimper slightly. She was startled when she heard three sets of footsteps behind her. She turned around to see, much to her shock and misfortune, Draco Malfoy with his cronies, Crabbe and Goyle. She groaned inwardly, thinking _why are they here of all places_? Who did they have to visit in a cemetery? Or was this their stomping grounds during the holidays? She didn't know and she didn't care, she just wanted them to leave. She wasn't going to go first. To her bad luck, the three didn't want to leave and to make matters even worse, spotted her and made a beeline right at her.

"Black!" Malfoy exclaimed. "Fancy meeting you here. Now, let's see who you've been mourning over." He shoved her out of the way and smirked when he saw the name on the tombstone. "Aw, your half-bred uncle."

"Go away, Malfoy," she growled. She wasn't in any mood to put up with him.

"I suppose half breeds must stick together though," he continued, clearly enjoying his mocking. Lily's stomach clenched as he said this. She had to restrain herself from resorting to her wolfish instincts. She chose to ignore him, thinking it might help, but it only drove Malfoy further. "Yes… I must admit I am rather proud of my father for ridding the Earth of one more werewolf."

"Shut up!" Lily yelled, forgetting all about ignoring him.

"Maybe next time it'll be you, or your mother," Malfoy went on, seeming to have not heard her. Lily's ears were ringing uncontrollably, but she wasn't going to hex him, she wasn't going to hex him. "I mean, what's the loss really? It would only end the cycle of your family. Lupin couldn't have children, who would want to marry scum like him?" Lily could swear she felt Remus turning over in his grave below her; she closed her eyes as though it would help block his voice out. "And then there was Black; what a waste of a human being. Your mother must not be very smart for marrying him." The ringing grew increasingly louder… she wasn't going to break… she couldn't. "You must've inherited that characteristic since you've chosen blood traitors and Mudbloods as friends." _Forget it_!

She was on her feet now, her wand drawn and pointed in between Malfoy's eyes. She couldn't believe that anyone, even him, would go as low as to use those influences, and in a cemetery of all places. She felt the familiar sensation of wanting to hex Malfoy so badly that he would never dare insult her or her friends or her family again. How would he like it if she used every insult for his family? Only the Lord knew how many she had thought of. The ringing in her ears continued to grow as she circled around Malfoy, not bringing down her wand once. Unless her eyes were cheating her, she could swear he looked frightened, that he realised he had finally pushed her to the limit and he was going to pay for.

"Do you know when to stop?" she questioned furiously, her arm aching slightly from holding up her wand for so long. She didn't care; all she cared about was how much she hated Malfoy at that moment.

"You don't have the nerve, Black," Malfoy snarled. "You wouldn't dare hex me."

_He's right_, she thought, feeling disgusted with herself. She wouldn't dare hex Malfoy in a graveyard next to her uncle and grandfather's graves. That would be sinking down to his level. She just wanted to scare him, to make him realise that he couldn't get away with everything.

"Wouldn't I?" she asked rhetorically, her voice low and menacing. "Don't put it past me. You can't get away with everything! Someone's got to put you in your place and if that person's me, then so be it!"

For a moment, it looked as though Malfoy was going to hex her. She certainly did not expect him to back down and run off with his friends. She stood in the same spot for a few minutes, not lowering her wand arm, but found it trembling madly. How long had she been standing there? The ringing in her ears had not stopped and that was when she realised that it was a full moon; she should have been home already.

She sped out of the graveyard and up the street and within minutes found herself dashing up the porch and running headlong into her mother. She backed up and saw her mother looking at her with a stern expression.

"I'm sorry, I lost track of time," she said apologetically.

"You had me worried sick!" Rachael scolded. "You were supposed to be back here forty five minutes ago!"

"I got held up!"

"What could possibly make you forget that tonight's a full moon?"

Lily could feel tears threatening the corners of her eyes. She hated this, why was she constantly crying? Taking a deep breath in an attempt to control herself, she said,

"I ran into Malfoy, okay?" Rachael's expression softened when she heard this. She knew all about how Malfoy was milking her daughter being a Black for all it was worth. It was likely to reduce her daughter to tears. "It's nothing," Lily said, clearing her nose. "I just can't take this anymore, why can't he leave me alone?"

Rachael shook her head. "Malfoy is the kind of kid who will never learn. Now did you hex him?" Lily shook her head. "Good, your uncle wouldn't appreciate it if you dueled over his grave." Lily smiled slightly. Rachael looked up at the sky and saw it darkening; the moon would be out soon. Lily had to get in the shed. Rachael grabbed Lily's wrist and pulled her into the yard.

Lily didn't know what came over her, but she suddenly didn't want to go in there with a passion.

"No," she cried. "Don't make me go in there! Please, Mum!"

It broke Rachael's heart to hear this, but she couldn't risk it. She didn't care if her daughter was under the influence of the Wolfsbane Potion; she had to go into the shed. There was no arguing against it. Professor Dumbledore had made it clear. They approached the shed and Rachael let go of Lily while she quickly opened the door. She grabbed Lily's wrist again and pushed her inside, chaining her against the wall. All the while Lily continued to cry, saying she didn't want to go in there, she didn't want to transform. Rachael looked at the sky again and saw the moon starting to rise. She quickly gave her daughter a kiss on the top of the head and locked the shed, still listening to her shouts to get out.

"No!" Lily cried, banging on the shed door. "Mum, let me out! Please!"

Rachael tried blocking out her cries and ran into the house. What she heard next she could not block out no matter how hard she tried. Lily's screams pierced the night; it sounded as though she was yelling for her life.

* * *

When Rachael opened the shed the next morning, she nearly fainted from shock. Lily was no longer chained against the wall; she had managed to rip the chains off the wall. It appeared that one of the chains had connected with the side of her face, giving her a rather large bruise. That wasn't the worst of it. Lily's entire face was covered in blood, several gashes on her cheeks; her forehead, and her nose was sprouting blood. The skin on her hands was torn up and looked to be beyond repair, even with magic. Her robes were torn and her cloak shredded and bloodstained. Rachael knelt down and gently pulled the cloak off, only to discover blood seeping out of Lily's side.

Rachael didn't understand it. Lily had taken the potion; it was supposed to let her keep her human mind. How had this happened, then? Her behaviour before the moon came out; she had never acted like that before, no matter how hard of a time she had been having. Something wasn't right. Gently, she shook Lily's shoulder telling her to wake up. But Lily didn't budge, she didn't even mutter. That was when Rachael realised she wasn't breathing. Her heart pounding, she grabbed Lily's wrist and felt for a pulse. She had one… but then how was she not breathing? She checked for a pulse again and indeed there was one… this was strange… too strange. She didn't have time to contemplate this; she needed to get her daughter to St. Mungo's.

She closed her hand around Lily's cut up arm and closed her eyes, concentrating on her destination. She had never Apparated with someone, and it wasn't the greatest feeling in the world, but it got her to the hospital in no time at all. She landed with a thud in the waiting room and she went up to the receptionist witch.

"How can I help you?" the witch asked.

"My daughter, something went horribly wrong in her werewolf transformation," Rachael replied, desperation evident in her voice.

The witch leaned over the desk and saw Lily's disfigured form; she grabbed a sort of microphone off the desk and called for Mr. Griemer. The name sounded familiar to Rachael. He was the Healer who had helped them after Remus was bitten by the werewolf. In no time at all, Mr. Griemer was escorting Rachael up to one of the wards, and levitating Lily. He clicked his tongue and commented on how odd the circumstances were. He had also checked for a pulse and checked for breathing. The pulse was there, but the breathing was still absent. He brought them into a private ward and gently let Lily drop down onto the bed.

"Name?" Mr. Griemer asked Rachael.

"Her name? Lily Black," Rachael answered, looking uneasily at Lily's unconscious form.

Mr. Griemer nodded and scratched the information down on his clipboard. "Her age?" he asked.

"Seventeen."

"The woman at the desk told me it was a mishap in her transformation, is that correct?"

"Yes."

He placed the clipboard in a box hanging on the door and went over to inspect Lily. Rachael took a seat on the opposite side of the room and watched. Mr. Griemer inspected the gashes on her face, the wound on her side, the various wounds on her hands, and managed to find some that Rachael hadn't noticed. He shook his head sadly and once again checked for a sign of breathing… but he found none. He stood up and said to Rachael that he was going to retrieve some potions that would help mend the injuries.

Rachael waited until the Healer had gone before getting up and going to her daughter's bedside. She just couldn't believe that a mere three days ago they had been celebrating Christmas with the Weasleys, Hermione and Harry. Now here they were in St. Mungo's. What went wrong though? She didn't understand what would make Lily become so violent when she was supposed to keep her human mind. Her human mind would not have let this happen.

She shook her head and again shook her daughter's shoulder in hopes of waking her. It was a futile attempt, as Lily was as still as ever. Then another thought crossed her mind – _what if she died because of this?_ She didn't know if she could stand another member of her family died. First her father, then Sirius, then Remus… James and Lily as well; they were as good as family. She didn't know what she would do if her daughter died. All she knew was she had to think positive. She had to remain optimistic, despite how hard it was.

"These should help." Griemer had reentered the room and was carrying five bottles of potions.

Rachael nodded, hoping the same exact thing, and retreated back to the chair on the opposite side of the room. She waited patiently as Griemer applied the various potions to the wounds on Lily. Rachael remembered in her second year when she had received scratches by a werewolf and how she felt a burning sensation from the potions, Lily didn't even wince when the potions touched her skin.

"How long do you think she'll remain like this?" Rachael asked, dreading the answer she might receive.

Griemer capped one of the bottles and set it down on the nightstand before answering. "I'm not entirely sure, to be honest," he said. "This is an unusual case; we've never seen anything like it. But, was she displaying any odd behaviour before the full moon?"

Rachael thought for a moment of the past few days she had spent with Lily. She had been acting normal, except the night before when it came time to lock her in the shed. She had reacted in a way Rachael had never seen; it was almost as though she knew what was going to happen if she transformed. Other than that, her behaviour hadn't been anything out of the ordinary, and, from what she learnt from Professor McGonagall, she hadn't been acting any different at school.

"Not any different than normal," Rachael answered, watching as Griemer resumed applying the potions. "Except last night." Griemer stopped what he was doing and looked up. "She didn't want to transform; she had never acted the way she did before. She was crying saying she didn't want to do it." Griemer nodded his head slowly and scratched his chin as if he was in deep thought.

"Was she under the influence of the Wolfsbane Potion?" he asked.

"Yes, and that was what made it so strange. She never worried about her transformations as long as she was taking it, but last night… I don't know what was going through her mind."

Griemer sighed and continued his work, not asking any further questions. Rachael took this time to try and fathom the many reasons Lily could have overreacted. She had been particularly distraught when she came back from the cemetery. She visited the cemetery every time she went home for the full moon and she had never acted like that. Then again, she had never run into Malfoy and his goons before the moon came out either. Lily didn't hold Malfoy too high, so it wouldn't have been enough to reduce her to the state she was in. She didn't know what to think, all she cared about was the fact that her daughter was struggling for her life.

When Griemer was finished applying the potions, he covered the wounds in bandages and retrieved the clipboard from the door and began writing down more information.

"Parent or guardian's name?" he asked.

"Rachael Lupin," she answered.

"Lupin?" he repeated, looking as though that name had triggered something in his mind. "I remember you. You were here when you were around seven or eight."

"Eight," Rachael corrected.

"I heard about what happened to your brother, I'm very sorry."

Rachael sighed and glanced at Lily. "If he was here he might have known what to do."

"I doubt even your brother would know what to do in this situation. Smart as he was, he just would not know." He glanced over at Lily. "We're going to do everything we can, she'll be okay."


	4. Recovering

Chapter Four  
Recovering

It had been a week since Rachael had taken Lily to St. Mungo's and the Healers were not getting anywhere in their research. They just couldn't figure out what brought about this strange condition. Lily had not resumed her breathing, but her pulse was as strong as ever. Most of her wounds had mended leaving not but scars, except her hands. Rachael was right in believing that not even magic could heal them. The skin would never fully heal so the Healers put bandages around them to prevent infections, as they couldn't risk that happening. Every day a different Healer would come in and see what he or she could do, but none of them had the faintest idea. Griemer handled the job most of the time, but he was just as baffled as his colleagues.

One night, when no one was in her ward, Lily regained her consciousness. It was around midnight when Lily rolled onto her side and took a deep breath, coughing loudly as she did so. Still coughing, she looked around, gaining her bearings. She was in a white room with a single window and many bouquets of flowers were surrounding the bed she was in. _Where am I?_ she thought weakly. She inspected her hands, which were wrapped in thick bandages, so only the upper halves of her fingers showed. Running her finger down one of her cheeks, she felt rough scars. _What happened to me?_ She tried sitting up, but felt a surging pain in her side that made her slump back in her bed. She inhaled deeply, only to end up sputtering out a round of coughs, which attracted the attention of someone in the hallway.

The door to the room opened and an unfamiliar man came inside. Judging by his lime green robes, she knew it was a Healer. She was in St. Mungo's. Another Healer followed him into the room, but the first one hissed something to the other and he ran off. The first Healer had a look of utter relief on his face and proceeded to check the bandages on her hands and her other injuries. The second Healer came back into the room and whispered something to the first. The first one nodded and turned back to Lily.

"Your mother will be here soon," he said.

She tried to say something, but her vocal chords seemed to argue against it. He excused himself from the room and returned a mere minute later with Rachael, whose face was chalk-white.

When she saw Lily was awake, she hardly could believe it. She ran to hug Lily, but the Healer held her back, saying she had only just woke up and it could hurt her for any sudden movements.

"When did she wake up?" Rachael asked, pulling a chair over to the bedside.

The Healer shrugged. "We only just heard her three minutes ago, she may have been up longer," the Healer said, looking pointedly at Lily, who shook her head, quickly stopping as she felt a sharp pain above her right eye.

Lily cleared her throat and, when she spoke, her voice sounded quite unlike her own. "What time is it?" Her eyes widened slightly and she cleared her throat again.

Rachael checked her watch.

"Three in the morning," she answered, her face puzzled by Lily's voice; it sounded wolfish. Rachael took another look at Lily before calling the Healer over to the other side of the room.

Lily could hear them talking in swift whispers. She knew perfectly well what they were talking about. She didn't understand what made her sound like that; it was as if she was still part wolf. Her voice sounded like a werewolf's growl… how did that happen? Rubbing her temples and thinking back, she found she couldn't even remember when happened to her on the full moon. She didn't know if it was painful, or if it had been the same as it had always been since Professor Snape started making the Wolfsbane Potion for her.

Taking a look at her various injuries, she knew it must have been painful. _Snape…_ he couldn't have, he wouldn't have... this was just some fluke. Maybe her body had rejected the potion for one reason or another, Snape wouldn't tamper with it, not with Dumbledore around. The Healer and her mother had halted their conversation and came back over towards the bed.

"Lily," said the Healer, doing his best to keep his voice light so as not to alarm her. "I am Louis Griemer. I have been working all week to try and help you recover from your transformation."

Lily looked confused for a minute, she had distinctly heard the word _week_. She couldn't have been out that long. "Week?" she said, still in the same wolfish voice.

Griemer nodded sadly.

"You have the most peculiar condition," he went on. "No breathing, until now that is, and yet a pulse as strong as any. Many of us Healers have been trying to come to a conclusion, but have not yet found one. Then there's your voice, it still sounds like that of a wolf." He pulled out a clipboard from the pocket of his robes and scribbled something down, before continuing. "You will notice the bandages on your hands." He indicated the thick bandages on her hands. "Those are permanent, and will be removed only when Madam Pomfrey sees it necessary. Whatever happened to them, magic will not heal it. You will have to remain her for a couple more weeks for further observation. We have already contacted Professor Dumbledore, your schoolwork will be sent here via owls and you will be expected to keep up. Professor McGonagall stressed that you practise on transfiguring your nose to look like a pig's." He chuckled lightly, but, clearing his throat, he went on. "As for your voice, I suggest trying to use it as much as possible."

Lily's stomach plummeted; she had hoped he would suggest using it as _little_ as possible. She didn't want anyone to hear how she sounded.

"I think that maybe if you use it enough, it'll wear out the wolfish sound and you will have your old voice back. Try reading your notes to yourself, or sing a song, anything that will keep you talking."

Lily began to nod, but when Griemer raised an eyebrow she said, "Okay."

"Good, now it's late, I think your mother here should catch up on her sleep. You, on the other hand, have had quite enough." Griemer bid them good night, turned the light out and shut the door behind him.

Lily took a look at her mother and, just by seeing her with the moonlight reflecting on her, she could tell she hadn't had much sleep in the past week. Rachael smiled tiredly at her daughter, wanting more than anything to drop off, but her daughter had finally woken up. How could she possibly sleep? Or even _think_ of it.

"Mum, go to sleep," Lily said, cringing at her voice. Rachael shook her head firmly; she couldn't go to sleep now. "Please, don't stay up just because of me."

"I've been worried sick about you for a week; do you really think I'll go to sleep now?" Rachael asked rhetorically.

"Go to sleep!" Lily begged. "I don't want to talk, I don't care if they say I have to, I don't want to."

"Fine," said Rachael. "But you have to tell me one thing first. What happened?"

"If I knew the answer, don't you think I would tell you?"

"Okay Lily. I'll sleep now. I'm glad you're okay." And with that Rachael leaned back in her chair, propped her feet up on the foot of the bed and fell asleep in an instant.

Lily rolled over onto her uninjured side and stared out the moonlit window, gazing at the half moon. She grimaced when she looked at it, she had always seen the moon as something beautiful, especially the golden full moons that appeared every once in a while. Now she loathed it with every nerve she had. How could something so spectacular make someone's life miserable? She hated when the night dawned; she hated the fact that she used to love the nighttime; it was the time she used to think. Now she used it to think about the full moon, her stomach churning painfully as she did so. She never let anyone know how much she was scared every time the full moon rose. That last one was the breaking point. She hated the night time, she couldn't wait to get to sleep and see the day dawn.

* * *

Rachael shifted the large, brightly coloured box she was holding, resting it on her knee and opened the door to the ward. She looked in to see Lily reading her Charms notes to herself and that she didn't look up when her mother entered. Readjusting the box, Rachael cleared her throat loudly, only to have her daughter jump in fright. When Lily discovered the cause of the noise, she smiled slightly, and resumed her reading. Rachael went over to her usual chair at her daughter's bedside and placed the package on the foot of the bed. She waited for a moment so Lily could finish the page she was reading, before asking her,

"Do you know what day it is?" Lily thought for a moment, as she hadn't seen a calendar in days and shook her head when she figured her mother would just tell her. "January 15th," her mother supplied.

Lily's eyes widened when she heard this and when she saw the package on her bed she made the connection. "I forgot it was my birthday," she admitted. "Wow… I never forget my birthday; they never tell me what day it is here."

Rachael nodded understandably.

"I know, but the important thing is, you have a present," joked Rachael, jerking her head at the box.

Lily leaned forward, snatched it and pulled the card off. Opening it she read the inside:

_Dear Lily,  
__I wished that since this was the first birthday in a long time I got to celebrate with you, it would've been under better circumstances. But that's a foolish thing to think since you're here and nearly well. I've wanted to celebrate this with you for a long time and all I can say is Happy 18th Birthday.  
__Love Mum_.

Lily smiled at the card, placed it on her nightstand and began to rip apart the wrapping paper, which, she noticed, had snitches flying around on it. She opened the box and saw that inside was something she always wanted but had been denied of because of Riley's allergies. Inside the box was a small brown and black, shaggy, dog. Lily would never have guessed that was inside, but Rachael must have charmed the box so he could breathe.

Rachael grinned at her daughter's response and said, "I did some research and Mrs. Jameson told me you had always been a dog person."

"I am! Thank you!" Lily said, picking the dog up and petting him. The dog barked quietly, making it seem as though he knew that animals were not allowed in the hospital.

"What are you going to name him?" asked Rachael curiously.

Lily thought for a moment, she had always been thinking of names for a dog, since she swore once she was old enough for her own place she would get one. She did not want to pick a typical dog name such as Fluffy (as that one brought back horrible memories of a three headed dog), Spike, Bingo, and so on. She wanted something different. She didn't need to think too long; however, as she thought of one of the things she missed most when she was in the hospital.

"Nimbus," she answered. "I'm going to name him Nimbus."

* * *

"Lily!" said a familiar voice that she hadn't heard it quite a while.

Lily rolled over, groggily, still half asleep. Opening her eyes slightly, she could see the blurry outline of Hermione standing beside her hospital bed. Lily grinned at the sight of her friend, as her only visitors for the past week and a half had been her mother and Griemer, and they were no fun.

"Hi," Lily said, her voice sounding more human than it had been.

Hermione smiled and dropped down into the chair. "How are you?" she asked.

"Fine," Lily answered, rubbing the sleep out of her eyes.

"We were so worried! Your mother owled Mrs. Weasley the day after it happened and Harry, Ron and I were in the room and she couldn't lie to us about it so she had to tell us. We've been trying to figure out how it could have happened. Harry keeps suggesting Snape, of course."

"But you said that idea wasn't too farfetched," Lily countered, trying to make herself comfortable on the bed.

"Oh I know; it's just no one wants to believe us. Harry told Mr. Weasley and all Mr. Weasley said was that Dumbledore trusts Snape. Besides, Snape made the Wolfsbane Potion for Lupin in our third year, and he hated Lupin more than you."

"Yeah, I know," Lily spat, though unintentionally. Hermione looked taken aback, but quickly recovered. "I'm sorry Hermione, it's just… I've been touchy about my family lately, you know that."

"Yes, I shouldn't have said that. It must be strange for you; being taught by someone for an entire year and not realising he was your uncle. Or being with Sirius for an entire summer and not knowing he was your father, and him not knowing you were his daughter."

"The only one I didn't know was my mother. But I think Sirius knew."

Hermione raised an eyebrow. "Well then why didn't he tell you?"

"I think he didn't realised it until a little before the Department of Mysteries. I remember it was a little before he fell through the veil, before he started that duel with Lestrange. I was sitting in a corner where no one was, I'd just broken my arm, and he saw me and he stooped down in front of me and said he had something important to tell me. But he never got to, a Death Eater had fired a spell that barely missed him and he said he'd tell me later."

"And later never came," Hermione finished. "But let's not think about that, it's no use dwelling on what happened. Sirius did find out where his daughter had ended up, that's all that matters. It would've been worse if he died without ever knowing where you ended up."

Lily nodded fairly. Clearing her throat loudly, she asked, "What's been going on at school?"

Hermione's face went white when she asked, which made Lily feel something bad had happened. "Well… I don't suppose you'd know since you were holed up in here, and the Healers probably didn't want to upset you." Hermione was stalling. "Professor McGonagall was attacked by Fenrir Greyback. He didn't bite her or anything, but she's in a really bad condition. They brought her here actually."

Lily's jaw nearly dropped, that werewolf had attacked Professor McGonagall? She couldn't believe it… she had been wondering why she hadn't received any Transfiguration work.

"I want to go see her," she said suddenly, not knowing why she had said it. Hermione looked startled by this sudden statement. "Is she allowed to have visitors now?"

"Well, yes… I was down there for a little before I came to see you. She's on the other end of the ward, but I don't think you should be going-."

But Lily had already stood up and was steadying herself. As she hadn't walked in weeks, her legs felt like jelly. Hermione quickened over and helped her friend regain her balance. Sighing in defeat, though not refraining from her protests, Hermione led Lily out of the room and down to the other end of the ward, where they could specifically hear their professor's voice. She seemed to be saying how her students would fall behind if she wasn't allowed to send them work, but whatever Healer was in the room was telling her she wasn't allowed to. The Healer left the room and Hermione and Lily snuck in.

Professor McGonagall could have looked worse, if she was attacked by a Hungarian Horntail. Her face had scratches all over it. Her arm was bound in a sling and one of her feet was bandaged up and propped on a pillow. Lily felt sick looking at her professor, she almost turned to leave but Hermione stopped her. McGonagall was reading a copy of the _Daily Prophet_ looking as though she was highly bored. They wouldn't have imagined anything less; lying in a hospital bed was too dull for her. She needed to be in the castle and teaching a group of adolescents. She ruffled the pages of the newspaper and saw her two students out of the corner of her eye.

"Miss Black, I do not think it is wise for you to be up and about," she said immediately.

Lily's face turned red, but she didn't leave. "We just wanted to see how you were," she mumbled.

The professor smiled and folded her newspaper up. "Well, I'm grateful for the company," she said.

"How are you, Professor?" Hermione asked.

"Fine, it'll take more than a werewolf attack to make me worry."

"But this is Fenrir Greyback," Hermione persisted.

"I know very well who he is, Miss Granger."

"He's one of the most vicious werewolves there is! He specializes in biting children, he-"

"He bit my uncle," Lily cut in.

Professor McGonagall nodded and Hermione acquitted any other attempts at arguing about the world's most savage werewolf. The two spent a good ten minutes in there, the professor asking how Lily was feeling almost constantly. Hermione and Lily were shooed away when the professor's Healer came in and said she needed to take her potions. Griemer had also been looking for Lily as she needed to take her potion as well. Griemer led them out of the ward and back down to Lily's room. Lily hated taking the potions. True she didn't have to take as many as she had to at first, but this one was just as disgusting as all of the others put together.

Hermione waited patiently as Lily drank her potion, as she had to drink it slowly for it to take its full effects. If she didn't need to do that, she would've downed it in a second. Hermione hated seeing her friend in such a state, and now their Head of House was hurt too. Why did war have to do this? If it wasn't for this stupid war than Professor McGonagall would be back at Hogwarts, and maybe, just maybe, Lily would be too. She didn't want to think Snape could have had something to do with this, she really didn't. The thing of it was that it was highly likely. It was true Dumbledore trusted Snape, and that should be enough, but, for some reason, it wasn't. Griemer went on with his business of checking to see how her injuries were mending, and then with a polite nod to Hermione, left.

"Where's your mum today?" Hermione asked.

"I made her go home and sleep some more," Lily answered, making a face at the rancid taste of the potion. "She said she'd come back later." She pulled up her legs and sat Indian style on her bed and rested her head in her hands. "How long before you have to leave?"

Hermione shrugged.

"Mrs. Weasley said she would come and get me," she answered. "That way she could visit you too."

"Oh, that's nice of her."

The two sat in silence for a moment, Hermione looking around the room and Lily singing softly under her breath. She had taken to doing that ever since Griemer had suggested it in order to get her voice back to normal. So far she had sung every song on a single CD by one of her favourite bands. Now she was working on another. Her stomach was churning horribly, but she knew it must be from the potions, as it had been happening frequently in the past few days.

Hermione broke her gaze away from the window and listened to her friend. "What are you singing?" she asked curiously. Lily stopped and shrugged, feeling somewhat embarrassed.

"A song," she said plainly.

"Why?"

"Griemer suggested it; it was either that or read my notes out loud. They wanted to see if it'll get my voice back to normal. It's been working actually."

Hermione laughed. "I suppose that's better than reading your notes to yourself," she said.

"Yeah, music is better than reading Binns's notes."

They spent the next hour talking about school, Hermione filling Lily in on everything that had happened while she was gone. Nothing particularly exciting happened, other than the attack on Professor McGonagall, but that wasn't the type of excitement she wanted. The next most exciting event was Professor Trelawney having yet another meltdown in the middle of the Entrance Hall and having to be carried away by Professor Sprout and their Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher, Professor Westley. She would've found it much funnier if she hadn't felt like she was going to vomit. Excusing herself from Hermione, she hurried off to the bathroom, while Hermione cringed at the retching sounds. Lily came back into the room, looking rather pale, and resumed her seat.

Mrs. Weasley came by an hour or so later, looking both happy and worried. She dashed over to Lily and pulled her into a tight hug, though pulling away when she smelled the stench of vomit. Almost the moment she pulled away, she went on a rant about how worried they had been, and how Ron and Harry wanted to come but they had Quidditch practise and that Mr. Weasley was working with some people at the Ministry who were trying to find a cure for this. Lily smiled weakly, her ears ringing a little from Mrs. Weasley's never ending tirade.

"Now where is your mother?" she asked finally.

"Went to get some sleep," Lily answered, not looking at Mrs. Weasley when she realised how strained her voice was. It had gone from wolfish to strained while she was doing Griemer's treatment; he said it was only a matter of time before it was back to normal. "The Healer said she didn't get much while I was unconscious."

"I imagine she wouldn't," said Mrs. Weasley. "I was talking to the Healer before I came in here; he said that you'll be well enough to leave by the end of the week."

"Good, I can't stand to be in here for another week."

* * *

Lily walked in the direction of the Quidditch pitch, hoping to see the remaining bit of Quidditch practise. Harry was the stand-in captain while Lily was in St. Mungo's and Dean Thomas had taken her place as Chaser until she was well enough to play again. Leaning against the fence surrounding the field, she looked up and saw the entire team in perfect formation, Harry shouting out plays as they practised. She felt bad that she couldn't be up there with them, but she was also happy that Harry was doing such a good job and the team was in good shape. They would massacre Slytherin in the coming game and would win the Quidditch cup for the fourth year running. First, it had been Oliver Wood to lead them to victory, then Angelina Johnson, and then she had brought them to victory the previous year. She hoped she could do it again. If the Healers didn't permit her to play for the rest of the year, then she was more than happy to have Harry bring them to victory.

She watched the entire practise from the fence, even though the weather was freezing and she wasn't supposed to be outdoors. She didn't care though. She had been held up in the hospital for weeks and then one week in the castle Madam Pomfrey, where watched her like a hawk. She deserved to be out in the fresh air, watching her friends play. She cheered loudly as Ron made a spectacular save. This caught the attention of her teammates. Upon noticing her, they descended and ran to meet her.

"Hey," said Harry, swinging his broom over his shoulder. "How are you feeling?"

"Fine," she answered truthfully. "Can't wait to start playing again." She looked up at the Quidditch goal posts and down to Ron. "That was a great catch right there."

"Thanks," said Ron proudly.

"So, when do you reckon you can play again?" Ginny asked.

Lily shrugged. "Maybe by the game after this one, who knows with Madam Pomfrey? But, can you guys do me a favour? Beat Slytherin for me."

The team assured her they would and went back to practise while Lily headed up to the castle. Treading lightly on the ground, she thought back to the last day at the hospital. Griemer had told her she would be feeling the aftereffects of her whole ordeal. She wondered what they might be. She had thought she'd feel constantly sick or maybe have bouts of dizziness, but nothing or the sort happened. She felt perfectly normal, just like she had felt before that transformation. She shrugged off what Griemer told her and concentrated on what her mother had talked to her about.

Her mother had finally chosen to reveal her childhood to her, though she was a little miffed to hear that Professor McGonagall had already laid the groundwork. What her mother told her had shocked her beyond all belief; she couldn't believe that her grandmother had taken their differences to such a level. She didn't want to hear half of what was being told to her, but, once her mother started, she couldn't stop her even if she wanted to. She had asked and now she was getting the answers she had been waiting for, she just didn't like them. Second year was her mother's breaking point; she had lost it completely. She wanted to be a werewolf with such a passion so she could prove to her mother that she wasn't the delinquent she thought she was. She had almost been bitten, if Sirius hadn't come in at that very moment, she would've gotten to keep Remus company on full moons. Even when Mrs. Lupin found out what happened, she didn't care. She did not care that her daughter almost died. That wasn't the worst of it.

The worst of it was what happened a few days following the full moon. Rachael had gotten the house elves to bake Mrs. Lupin a birthday cake and she sent it to her, as a present and a peace offering. Along with the cake she had sent a letter, an innocent letter saying that she hoped her mother would like that cake. She had also said it would probably ruin her mother's birthday. That was a mistake, as Mrs. Lupin had only sent a nastier letter to her daughter, who retorted. Rachael had only expected to receive a cruel letter, maybe a Howler, she had never expected her mother to floo to Hogwarts and take her anger out on her. She was beaten so bad she was bed ridden for three weeks. The thought of a mother doing that to her child sickened Lily. How could someone be so horrible?

The thing was her grandmother was sincerely sorry for what she had done. Rachael had accepted the apology, but she could never erase what happened. She would still have the scars. Scars that were physical, if not mental, and would be there forever, just like Lily's. That was one of the reasons Rachael had given her up as an infant; she had been afraid that her upbringing might cause her to do some of the things her mother had done. She didn't want to live with the guilt. It had taken her every ounce of strength she possessed to march up to the orphanage and give Lily to Professor McGonagall. Professor McGonagall had promised to find her a good home with a nice family, and she had done that.

That was one thing Lily and Rachael had in common. Both of them, at one point in their lives, had ended up in an orphanage. Rachael was in one for a few years; Lily was in one for a few days. It was the same orphanage, too. Rachael had told Lily how the place was going to be sold, as the administrators were unable to keep it running. Rachael had mentioned this to Professor Dumbledore, who took it upon himself to fund half of the bills. Rachael told her how, just as she was leaving the orphanage, the woman who had been her personal instructor while she was there, came up to her and promised to take care of Lily for as long as it took before they found a decent family.

"I now know what it must've been like for my dad to leave me there," Rachael had said in a somewhat dejected voice.

Lily couldn't believe that her mother had a childhood like that, it was horrible to her. Then, in Rachael's fifth year, her father died from a potion made wrong. From what Rachael told her, her fifth year wasn't all bad. That was when she and Sirius finally got together. She had visited the orphanage and finally got to meet Lily Evans's family. It just seemed unfair to Lily that her mother had to suffer like that while she, Lily, had a great childhood. It was amazing how the world operated…


	5. Accusations and Proposals

Chapter Five

Chapter Five  
Accusations and Proposals

Lily began to feel the aftereffects two days after the Quidditch practise. She had woken up on Wednesday morning feeling as though she was running a fever. When Hermione asked Lily if she felt alright, she merely nodded and went to the bathroom. When she came out, fully clothed and slightly nauseous, she joined Hermione and they made their way to the common room to meet Harry and Ron and went down to breakfast. All through breakfast, her head pounded. Just looking at the food made her feel sick. It was only during Potions class, first period, where things went wrong.

They were busy learning how to concoct a Hair Growth potion that took an immense amount of concentration, and Professor Snape made sure they knew that. They had been working for a half an hour, mixing the ingredients and chopping daisy roots, when Lily's vision suddenly became blurry. Stopping her work for a second, she blinked furiously and she could see normally again. She went on working as though nothing had happened. Then her hand started twitching, and she couldn't stop it. She dropped the knife she was holding and it fell to the floor with a loud clatter, causing Snape to shout at her to pick it up. She went to bend over, but froze.

Harry, who was working next to her, looked at her oddly. "What's wrong?" he asked worriedly.

She didn't answer him; her whole body was tensed up so she couldn't move. Then she started shaking, her knees locked, and she dropped to the floor, barely missing the knife she was supposed to be picking up. Hermione and Ron stopped what they were doing and knelt down beside her. Lily's eyes were squeezed shut, her arms crossed over her stomach and her back arched. Nearly the entire class had halted their work and was coming over, either to see if they could help or to gawk.

Professor Snape got up from his desk and was edging over to see what was happening. No one could help but notice he didn't look the least bit worried. "Tonight's not a full moon, is it?" he asked Hermione.

Hermione shook her head and turned to Lily, who was trembling madly. "What's happening?" she asked apprehensively.

Lily shook her head slowly.

"I don't know," she said, her voice strained. Groaning in pain she whispered, "I want my mum." Hermione bit her bottom lip; she would try to send an owl when they figured out what was wrong. Then, even louder, Lily said, "I want my mum!"

Malfoy sniggered in the background, thinking what she said was hilarious.

"Shove off, Malfoy," Harry snarled, earning himself five deducted points for Gryffindor. Harry opened his mouth to retort, but one look from Hermione made him think different. Professor Snape told Malfoy to go and retrieve Madam Pomfrey, while he tried to figure out what was happening.

"Black," he said loudly. "What is happening to you?"

"I don't know," Lily answered her voice full of pain.

Snape shook his head and waited for Madam Pomfrey to come so he could resume his lesson. It was only seven minutes before the dungeon doors burst open and Madam Pomfrey ran in. By the time she got to the room, Lily had stopped shaking and was passed out on the floor. Shaking her head, she waved her wand and Lily was soon being levitated up to the Hospital Wing. Harry, Ron and Hermione wanted to go with her, but they knew they couldn't miss History of Magic, though they strongly doubted that Professor Binns would notice their absence. So they resorted to watching miserably as their friend was taken out of the room, the Slytherins sniggering rudely.

Lily woke up an hour later, startled to find herself in the Hospital Wing. Sitting up, she winced in pain as she discovered she had a splitting headache. She couldn't remember what happened after Snape had told her to pick up the knife she dropped. All she knew was that her hand had twitched violently and she felt sick. Had she passed out? Looking around the room, she saw that, judging by the position of the sun, it was still morning; she couldn't have been out for that long then. If she had passed out… oh the Slytherins would never let her forget it. They would think it had something to do with her werewolf side. _That's it_, she thought. It had to be. This had to have stemmed from what happened earlier that month. Unconsciously she looked at her hands and saw that the bandages had been changed. She now knew how she ended up in the Hospital Wing at least. Madam Pomfrey must have ran fast when she found out something was wrong.

The door to the Hospital Wing opened and Rachael dashed inside, a look of concern gleaming in her eyes.

Lily, taken completely by surprise, didn't know what to say except, "When did you get here?"

"Only a few minutes ago, the owl Professor Dumbledore sent took a while to get to me."

Lily was confused. What had happened to her that made the Headmaster owl her mother? Rachael, sensing her daughter's confusion, explained what had happened. Apparently, she had had some sort of seizure in Potions class. It was strange though, because she had been fully aware of her surroundings. She was able to answer questions when someone asked her. According to Hermione, Lily had distinctly said that she wanted her mother.

"Oh," said Lily slowly, rubbing her temples. "I don't remember anything that happened. I just remember my hand twitching."

"Madam Pomfrey wants to keep you here for further observations," Rachael said. "Meanwhile, Professor Dumbledore will be trying to figure out the cause for all of this."

"It's from what happened during the full moon, isn't it?" Lily piped up.

"We think it's from that; it's certainly not from your normal state of health. We contacted Mrs. Jameson and she says it's never happened before."

Lily shook her head.

"No," she said firmly. "I've never had a seizure in my life."

"I figured you hadn't," Rachael agreed. "Mrs. Jameson says she hopes you feel better."

"If you hear from her, tell her I said thanks. How is she, anyway?"

"She's fine," Rachael said simply. "She said she misses you."

"Oh… okay." Lily yawned widely and rolled over on her bed. "How long are they keeping me here?"

"Two days, that's it. Dumbledore doesn't want you to miss anymore classes."

"Okay… Listen, I'm tired, I'm gonna sleep."

Before Rachael could even reply, Lily was fast asleep. Rachael stood up and left the room, seized by a sudden suspicion. She was thinking about how everyone had asked her if Lily was under the influence of the Wolfsbane Potion. She was. Lily had made Snape angry that day; she knew Snape was low enough to tamper with the potion. She knew he didn't care if he was under Dumbledore's watch, he would do anything to cause children pain. That was the kind of person he was. He was foul and evil and that was all there was to it. She didn't know if Snape had a class at this time, but she marched down to the dungeons anyway.

Coming to a halt outside of the Potions classroom, she peered inside and saw the room completely empty. Seizing this opportunity, she let herself in and banged on the office door.

Snape opened the door, and she was glad to see he looked frightened at her sudden appearance. "Lupin," he said grimly. "Long time, no see. How are things?"

"Cut the small talk, Snape, what did you do?"

Snape raised his eyebrows, acting as though he hadn't had a clue as to what she was talking about. "Come again, Lupin?"

"You know darn well what I'm talking about. What did you do to my daughter's Wolfsbane Potion?" Snape laughed bitterly and stepped back, thinking that Rachael might be infuriated enough to do something drastic.

Rachael took a step forward and grasped the front of Snape's robes.

"Don't act like you don't know!" she yelled. "This has never happened to her before! _You've_ been making her potion, what did you do to it?"

"I don't know what you're talking about," he said mildly. "Are you implying that I may have somehow tampered with it?"

"Yes, that is _exactly_ what I'm _implying_," Rachael snarled. "Now tell me what you did to it so I can help my daughter!"

"I really have no idea what's going on."

"Snape, stop acting stupid! My daughter can die from this! Dumbledore's already told me that, and if she does than you're going to be the one who pays! I will not lose the only family I have left!"

With that, she stomped out of the office and slammed the door shut in the Potion Master's face. She didn't want to believe Dumbledore when he told her that Lily's condition would only get worse if they didn't find the cause of it. There were three options for her sickness – it could be cured, go into remission, or she would die. Rachael sincerely hoped that the third wouldn't happen. She couldn't bear it if she lost her daughter. She had already lost James, Lily, Sirius and Remus; she couldn't lose her daughter too. She walked up to the Hospital Wing, hoping for Lily to be awake. When she looked in she saw that she was indeed awake.

Lily's eyes were glazed over as she stared at the ceiling, her eyes unfocused. She looked like she might nod off again, so Rachael didn't bother to go in.

When she turned to leave, Lily's voice stopped her.

"Mum," she said. "Professor Dumbledore was just in here."

Rachael nodded and took a seat on the bed next to her daughter's.

"Was he?" she said.

"Yes… and he said he had to be honest with me. He said my sickness can either be cured; go into remission, or I can die." Rachael's stomach knotted unpleasantly. Looking into her daughter's eyes, she saw fear in them, plain and utter fear. "Mum," she said, her voice shaking and her eyes shining. "I don't want to die."

* * *

Lily was let out of the Hospital Wing, much to Madam Pomfrey's protests, two days later. She returned to her classes, though under the watchful eyes of all of her professors, or most of them at least. Snape had not even mentioned her episode in his class the other day. He acted as though it was an intentional disruption; she was serving detention for it, in fact. Snape had her scrubbing the dungeons floors with nothing but a toothbrush, a new low, even for Snape. By the time she was done her knees ached terribly and her pants were soaked.

The morning after her detention she was sitting in the Great Hall, working on a last bit of Charms homework. Harry, Ron and Hermione had yet to come down to breakfast, so she left ahead of them. Taking a bite of her toast, she scribbled down the answer for question six and placed her quill down. Taking a swig of her pumpkin juice, she unconsciously looked up at the staff table and saw Professor Dumbledore chatting with Professor McGonagall (who had made a full recovery in only a few days). Seeing that he was being watched, Dumbledore looked over at her and smiled warmly. Lily smiled back, but quickly looked away. She couldn't bear to look at Dumbledore for long after he had told her she could die if she wasn't cured.

The thought of dying chilled her to the bone, she didn't want to die. What would happen to her mother if she did? How would it affect her friends? There were so many questions whizzing through her head as she thought about death. She had even envisioned her own funeral the night before as she dreamt. She woke up, sweating bullets, as she shook her head, trying to clear her mind of the visions she had seen. Everyone was standing around; throwing flowers onto her casket; it scared her. She didn't want to die; she was only eighteen! She had hardly lived. There were so many things she hadn't done. She had never had a boyfriend before; she wanted to get married and raise a family of her own. She wanted to be a professor at Hogwarts. She wanted to live to see the end of the war that had been looming around them for three years. There were so many things she needed to see, she couldn't die yet.

"Hullo," said a hesitant voice behind her.

She turned to see a tall boy with black hair and hazel eyes standing behind her. She knew him only by name and house; he was seventh year Jacob Lawrence from Ravenclaw. She had never spoken to him before, though she did remember him picking up her books when she dropped them one day in the hallway. She also worked with him once in Transfiguration a while ago. That was about as much contact as they had. She wondered what he was doing here.

"Err… hi," she said awkwardly. "Jacob, isn't it?"

"Yes," he responded quickly.

Lily waited for him to say something, but he didn't. "Can I help you with something…?"

"Oh, yes," he said, looking quite embarrassed. "I just wanted to know if you heard about the next Hogsmeade trip."

Lily thought for a moment, she had remembered seeing it posted on the notice board in the common room. She vaguely remembered that it was one day during the first week of February.

"It's during the first week of February, isn't it?" she asked, contemplating the many reasons this boy could be asking her this.

"Yeah, on the third and I was wondering… if it isn't too awkward or anything… you wanted to go with me."

Lily's eyes widened at the question. She hardly knew the kid and here he was asking her to go to Hogsmeade with him. She remembered that that was what Sirius did when he wanted her mother to know he liked her. Then there was the fact that it was the day after the full moon. She didn't know what would happen between the time the moon rose and when she would wake up or, more correctly, _if_ she woke up. She didn't like to think that way, but she couldn't help it.

"Well, I dunno," she answered truthfully. "The night before the trip won't be a good night, if you get my meaning."

"Oh, I understand completely," he said hastily. "After what happened to you last month and all, I can't blame you. I understand… well, see you in class." He turned around, red in the face, and made to run back to the Ravenclaw table, but Lily felt bad.

"Hold on," she said, before he had a chance to run. "If everything goes alright and I'm feeling okay, I'll meet you at the Three Broomsticks around noon?"

Jacob turned around and tried to contain his smile, though failing dismally.

"That'd be great," he said happily. "So, I'll see you in Transfiguration later then?"

"Yeah… see you there."

Lily watched as Jacob went back to his table and joined Terry Boot and Anthony Goldstein as they packed up their books and went to their first period class. Lily checked her watch and discovered class started in three minutes; she had to be down on the grounds. Packing up her books, she left the hall, stopping shortly to say hi to her friends as she passed them. Harry, Ron and Hermione had dropped Care of Magical Creatures once they were in their sixth year, but Lily liked it, so she kept it.

Walking down the grassy slope towards Hagrid's hut on the edge of the Forbidden Forest, Lily found herself smiling widely. She didn't know why though. She hardly knew this Jacob and yet she felt somewhat pleased that she might be spending time in Hogsmeade with him. He did seem nice, and he didn't seem the least bit perturbed that she was a werewolf. He seemed okay with it actually; he even said it was alright if she didn't want to go with him because she was feeling ill. She now found herself hoping nothing went wrong so she could go into the village.

She came upon Hagrid's hut and found the usual group of three students surrounding a crate. She joined her friend Neville Longbottom and asked him what everyone was looking at.

"Baby wolves," Neville answered, gesturing down to four grey wolves walking around the crate. Lily raised an eyebrow, wolves weren't magical creatures.

"Righ' now," Hagrid said, coming out of his hut. "Looks like we're all here." He looked over the four heads, as if he was making sure there wasn't a student missing. "Anyway, we're studying the difference between wolves and werewolves." Instinctively, three heads turned to Lily, who suddenly found the ground highly fascinating. "Now don' look at her," Hagrid scolded. "We'll be studying' from pictures, not people."

Lily smiled gratefully at Hagrid. He knew very well what it felt like to be a half breed and knew that she didn't want people to use her as a case study for the lesson.

"Now then," said Hagrid, pulling out a folder. "Here are pictures of werewolves."

He pulled out four pictures of a werewolf and handed them to each student. Lily didn't even look at hers; she knew all too well what werewolves looked like. Hagrid spent the entire class having the students observe their pictures and then observe the wolves. He would come to each of them in turn and ask them what the differences were. Of course, Lily got them all right and spent the remainder of the period playing with her wolf, as it had taken quite a liking to her. Sitting on the floor with the wolf resting in her lap, she stroked him behind the ear and watched as the rest of the class took their turns in identifying the differences.

Susan Bones was second to finish and joined Lily on the ground and listened as Hagrid quizzed Neville and Dean Thomas. "The wolves are cute, aren't they?" Susan said, admiring the wolf in Lily's lap, who looked as though he was about to fall asleep.

"Yeah, they are," she agreed, rubbing the wolf's belly.

"You're good with them."

"Yeah, well… it's kind of a requirement when you're a werewolf. Get along with the regular ones."

Susan laughed shortly and looked at her wolf that was running in circles in the box. She went to try and pet her, but Lily quickly snatched her wrist away.

"Don't do that," she warned. "She doesn't look very happy." Lily jerked her head towards a different wolf in the crate, glaring at Susan's hand. "I don't reckon you want a wolf bite."

Susan eyed the wolf warily and slowly shook her head. She quickly got up and went over to join Dean, who was just finishing up his questions with Hagrid. Lily slumped forward and hugged the wolf tighter to herself. _What just happened_? She wondered as she stroked the wolf's head and listened to its soft growls. All she had done was to try and warn Susan not to pet the wolf because it would bite her. Did that somehow scare her? She didn't mean to, she just wanted to help. But no, helping scared her away.

"What's up?" Hagrid said, coming over and taking a seat beside her. He wrote down the class's grades as he waited for Lily to answer.

"I think I just freaked Susan out," Lily answered miserably, the good mood she had been in diminishing greatly.

"Oh… I saw," he said. "You tried ter stop her from I' bitten. 'Snot yer fault, yeh were jus' tryin' ter help."

"I know but… I just feel stupid sometimes, like what would happen if I had told her that and I wasn't a werewolf?"

Hagrid shook his shaggy head, though they both knew the answer to that question. Susan would not have gotten scared and run off; she would have thanked Lily for her help. For the rest of the class, Lily chose not to look at the Hufflepuff; she thought at least _they_ would understand.

* * *

"Get in the shed, Lily," said a particularly worried Rachael to her daughter, who looked just as nervous as she was.

Lily grudgingly went inside and waited patiently as her mother chained her to the wall and locked her inside. Rachael had resigned herself to the fact that she wouldn't be getting much sleep that night and had made herself a comfortable bed on the porch. Earlier that day, she had asked if Lily had taken the Wolfsbane Potion and she said yes. Rachael didn't say anything at first, but she suddenly felt uncomfortable. What if her theory was right and Snape had tampered with it? This full moon could be a repeat of last month, at an even worse scale. She had thought Lily, of all people, would have been wary about taking the potion after what happened. Maybe she was afraid that if she didn't take it she could be harmed on a greater scale. It was fear that had made her take the potion.

She gazed up at the darkening sky, holding her breath for the moment when the moon would be out and her daughter would be undergoing her transformation. Finally, she saw the silver orb rise from behind the trees and she heard a low gurgle of pain come from inside the shed. Rachael's breath caught in her throat and, coughing very loudly, she stood up and edged over towards the shed. She unwillingly peered through the window and saw Lily curled up in the fetal position, whimpering in pain. Rachael turned away from the window, unable to see her daughter in so much pain. Even if she couldn't see what was happening, she could still hear the loud cry of pain emitting from her daughter.

After that one loud cry of pain, it was silent. The silence was eerie to Rachael, she couldn't hear any growling. Why wasn't there any growling? Her daughter was a werewolf, it was instinct for her to growl after her transformation. Suddenly a nervous wreck, Rachael willed herself to look through the window and, with a sigh of relief, saw that Lily was walking around in a circle. The growling soon came and Rachael knew that everything had gone as it was supposed to.

_Maybe Snape hadn't done anything after all…_ With that thought in mind, Rachael retreated to the bed she had set up on the porch. She could rest easy for the first time all month.


	6. Hogsmeade

Chapter Six  
Hogsmeade

Lily quietly opened the shed door open, feeling rather tired, but not sick, and saw her mother sleeping on the porch. With a guilty feeling in the pit of her stomach, she went over to shake Rachael awake. Reaching a hand out, she quickly pulled it away upon seeing what her hands looked like. It was a sickening sight. Her skin was peeling and bloody, her skin was discoloured and mangled. She now knew why she wore those bandages all the time. So, instead of waking her mother up, she went inside to put on some bandages, sparing herself and her mother from the gruesome sight.

When she came back outside, holding Nimbus back so he didn't run out, she saw that she didn't need to wake Rachael up. She was down by the shed, looking inside with a confused look on her face.

"I'm over here," said Lily, waving to her mother.

Rachael turned around and smiled when she spotted her daughter standing on the porch steps, looking completely healthy, only a little tired. Lily went down the steps and asked her mother what the time was.

"Eleven thirty," she answered, checking her watch.

"Oh," said Lily quietly. "Mum, today there's a Hogsmeade trip and I promised someone if I was feeling alright I'd meet them at the Three Broomsticks at twelve. Can I go?"

Rachael hesitated for a moment. She really didn't want Lily to be going out after a full moon but, as she looked her daughter over, she saw that she looked perfectly fine. So she nodded in consent and Lily hurried down the path leading to the village. Lily ran fast, hoping that she had enough time to make it before Jacob thought she wasn't going to show up. Luckily, as she was nearing the Three Broomsticks, she nearly knocked him over as he was about to enter the pub.

"Oh, sorry," she said apologetically, stepping backwards.

"It's okay," he said, not sounding the least bit bothered "I wasn't sure if you were going to make it."

"I almost didn't, I only woke up ten minutes ago."

"Good timing," he said approvingly. "Anyway, shall we go in, or somewhere else?"

"Somewhere else I guess; it's not really that cold out anyway."

They set off down the high street, with no particular destination in mind. They spent their time making small talk and going into various shops such as the post office, Honeydukes, Dervish and Banges. They spent the majority of their time in Zonko's. They looked at the several pranking items, commenting that none of this stuff could be compared to the items at Weasley's Wizarding Wheezes.

"Fred and George have more imagination than any of the people who own this shop," Lily said as she picked up a biting teacup. "Did you see those daydreaming things?" Jacob nodded. "I used one in Ancient Runes last week," he said, laughing. "The professor didn't even notice."

"I used one in History of Magic, not that it made a difference to how anyone looks in that class."

"Yeah, you'd think the only class taught by a ghost would be interesting."

They left Zonko's, not having bought anything, and made their way towards the Shrieking Shack. Now an awkward silence had settled between them. They had had a lot to talk about in Zonko's, but now neither of them seemed to know what to say to the other. They walked in silence up the street, stopping once in a while to hi to any of the students they met in their year.

"So," said Jacob slowly. "What are you? Pureblood? Half-blood? Muggleborn?"

Lily thought for a moment, she wasn't really quite sure actually. "I guess I'm a half-blood," she said. "What are you when your dad's a pureblood and your mum's a half-blood?"

"I don't know," he answered honestly. "I'm a half-blood. Mum's a Muggle and my dad's a wizard."

"Did she know that before they got married?"

"Yeah, she was fine with it though, thought it'd be more useful to get things done around the house."

They made their way up towards the Shrieking Shack and admired it from the fence that surrounded it. The shack was old and rundown, the perfect place to hold Order meetings without being discovered. Trying thinking of something else to say, Lily blurted out,

"Are you named after anyone?" She didn't know why she had asked, but she couldn't think of anything else and the silence was bothering her.

Jacob also appeared to be shocked by the question, but he smiled and answered. "Nope," he said. "My mum just said she always admired the name. What about you?"

"Yeah, my mum told me she named me after her friend from school – Lily Evans, Harry's mum."

Snow had started falling, causing the air to become unbearably chilly.

"Want to go to the Three Broomsticks?" Jacob asked. "It's getting kind of cold."

Lily readily agreed and together the two trooped down towards the pub. When they entered they saw it was full to bursting with Hogwarts students, but they managed to find a table right in the centre where no one was sitting. Squishing their way through the crowd, they claimed the table just as Draco Malfoy was about to take it.

"So, I'll get us some butterbeers, then," Jacob offered, digging in his pocket for money. "On me," he added when Lily started pulling some sickles out of her pocket.

She waited as Jacob went up to the bar and looked around the pub. She spotted her fellow Gryffindors, Lavender Brown and Parvati Patil, sitting with Padma Patil, Parvati's twin sister. A few tables away from them were Dean Thomas and Seamus Finnigan, talking to Terry Boot. Behind that table were Draco Malfoy (who had grudgingly taken the seat), Crabbe, Goyle, and Blaise Zabini. She made a face at that group and turned to find Jacob had returned with two glasses of warm butterbeer.

"Thanks," she said, accepting her mug.

"You're welcome," he replied, sipping some of his drink. "So, what'd you think about that lesson in Transfiguration where you had to change the colour of your eyes?"

"That wasn't that hard," Lily said, honestly she had found it quite easy.

"That's only because you're the best at Transfiguration in our year."

"No I'm not, Hermione's probably loads better."

"Actually you get most of the stuff before she does; she even admits it."

"Does she? She never bothered to mention it to me. Anyway… you're not one to talk. I hear from Hermione that you can do Arithmancy so fast that it's not even funny."

"Yeah, well… it's easy for me. My dad was really good at it when he came here. Guess I inherited it. Was your mum or dad really good at Transfiguration?"

"I don't know really, my mum said her best was Defense Against the Dark Arts, and I never got to ask my dad."

Jacob nodded, as everyone knew her father's story. Then something hit her, why wasn't he afraid of her if he knew her father was the infamous Sirius Black?

"Jacob," she said slowly. "If you know who my dad is, why aren't you scared of him? Everyone else is."

"Well, because I believe you when you say he isn't guilty. I mean the story makes sense when you really think about it. It's easy for someone to get on as an unregistered Animagus and use it to escape death and go into hiding. Besides, why would you lie about it when already half the school was scared of you for being a werewolf?"

"I guess… but that's another thing, you're not scared of me for that either. I mean practically the entire school is."

"Not really," said Jacob, shaking his head. "Most people don't care, or they know you too well to be scared. It's mostly the Slytherins who use it to your disadvantage; I mean you saw what Malfoy did the minute he found out."

Lily nodded grimly; she knew only too well what it felt like when she heard the howling that morning. They sat in silence for a while, sipping their butterbeers and gazing around the pub. It was emptying out now, as though snow was letting up, and the chatter was dying down. Lily fixed her attention on the group of professors that were standing outside the pub, one of them being Professor Snape. When he looked in the window he gave her a look that only matched the one Lily was giving him.

Jacob noticed her expression and looked to see what she was glaring at.

"Figures," he said when he saw it was Snape. "He didn't seem very happy the day you 'disrupted' his class. I had him the next period; he was giving us a hard time because of it."

"Sorry about that," Lily apologised. "But Snape should know people can't help it when they have seizures… From what I've heard they're _supposed_ to be involuntary," she added sarcastically.

"But you knew what was going on around you, didn't you?" Lily nodded. "People usually don't have that sense when they have seizures."

"I know that, and that's what makes it so weird. Dumbledore thinks it all stemmed from the last full moon, and I think he's right. But I also think something else…"

"What?"

"No, you'll think I'm overreacting. It's stupid."

"No I won't."

"Okay… well… the thing is… the day I took my Wolfsbane Potion before the full moon, I made Snape really mad. He was going on about how my entire family was one big joke and I exploded at him and McGonagall probably told him off for saying things like that to a student. So, I think maybe he tampered with it."

Jacob was quiet as he mulled over what she had just old him. She was right in saying it seemed far fetched, but it also seemed very possible. There was something about Snape that made him seem like the type to tamper with a girl's potion. He had been a Death Eater after all and had proven he was quite capable of such things. Then there was the fact that Professor Dumbledore trusted him and they owed Dumbledore their trust in his judgments. If Dumbledore trusted someone, they should too. Right now in this war, it didn't seem like they could trust anyone.

Lily watched him as he thought over what she had told him. She knew he thought she was crazy for thinking in such a way, just by his expression, she could tell. When he next spoke, she was glad to hear that he thought just the opposite.

"That's possible," he said, rubbing his chin thoughtfully. "I mean, this _is_ Snape we're talking about."

"But Dumbledore trusts him," Lily moaned, a hint of defeat apparent in her voice. "I mean, even if I proved my theory no one would believe me, no one that mattered, that is. My friends would believe me, my mother would… but anyone who could stop him would think I was losing my mind. He's a Hogwarts professor; they're _supposed_ to be trustworthy."

"But look at the teachers we've had!" Jacob protested, hating the fact that Lily was bringing herself down in such a way. "Professor Quirrell had Voldemort sticking out of the back of his head, Lockhart was a fake, Moody was a Death Eater in disguise and Umbridge didn't want us to have a proper education. The only trustworthy Defense Against the Dark Arts professors we've had were Professor Lupin and Professor Westley. So you're right in thinking like this."

"Yeah but… Dumbledore's always had this thing for trusting Snape."

Jacob didn't say anything in response to that, he merely looked around the pub and then at his watch. "We should be getting back to the castle," he said, taking one last swig of butterbeer and standing up. "It's getting late."

Lily nodded and followed him out of the Three Broomsticks, back towards the castle. It was bone chillingly cold as they plowed through the snow that covered the cobblestone streets; they could see their breath as they breathed. They finally made it to the gates, only to be whacked in the back of the heads with snowballs. Swiftly looking around, they saw a group of Slytherins waving their wands and the snowballs were zooming at them. Getting a closer look at who the group was, they saw it was the typical group of seventh years; it didn't surprise them in the least.

"Hey, Lawrence!" called Zabini, laughing as Jacob ducked as a snowball nearly hit him square in the face. "I thought you had better taste in girls! Why are you going around with this trash?"

"Probably for the same reason you and Bullstrode went to Hogsmeade together before Christmas!" Jacob yelled back, red in the face. "Least I have better taste," he added, taking a snowball and chucking it towards Zabini. Ignoring the jeers and taunts that followed, they plowed on through the snow and up to the giant double doors, where they were glad to find themselves in the warm castle. It was dinnertime now and they made their way to the Great Hall. They stood to the side of the door and looked around uncomfortably.

"So," said Jacob, wringing his hands as he glanced at his friends at the Ravenclaw table, who were watching him expectantly. "Did you have fun?"

"Yeah, loads of fun," Lily replied, smiling.

"Good, I'm glad."

He sighed uneasily and again glanced at his House table. "Well… see you in class then?"

"Yeah, I'll help you whatever we're doing," Lily said smartly, earning herself a laugh from Jacob. She waited for him to leave so she could go and join her friends at the Gryffindor table. Before he left he gave her a quick kiss on the cheek, _his_ cheeks flaming red as he did so. Then he ran to join Terry Boot and Anthony Goldstein, both of whom had wide eyes and their mouths were slightly open. That wasn't anything compared to how Lily felt. She was completely shocked. She had not expected him to do that. They had only talked for an entire day and he had kissed her, even if it was just on the cheek; it was still surprising. She couldn't blame Terry and Anthony for their reaction. Looking at the Gryffindor table and spotting Harry, Ron and Hermione sitting on the end, she saw that they, too, had seen what had just happened.

Her cheeks just as red as Jacob's she made her way over to the table and sat down next to Hermione. Loading food on her plate and pretending to be far too immersed in her dinner to notice their looks, she looked up and imitated being surprised.

"Yes?" she said, placing her fork down.

"I take it you had fun?" asked Ron.

"Yeah… I did."

"We saw you in the Three Broomsticks," said Hermione in a business like fashion. "We were passing by, but didn't go in."

Lily nodded.

"So, that Jacob, he's nice?" asked Harry, glancing over at the Ravenclaw table.

"Yeah, he's really nice."

"He doesn't care about you being a werewolf or that your surname is Black?"

"No."

"Harry, stop interrogating her," said Hermione before Harry could get another question in. "He's a good catch."

Lily unexpectedly chocked on the piece of steak she was chewing and, after recovering, looked at Hermione.

"C-catch?" she sputtered.

Hermione raised an eyebrow and looked at Lily strangely.

"Well, he kissed you," she said, as though she was making perfect sense. "I thought it meant-"

"Look, it was an innocent thing… really… don't make anymore out of it than it already is."

* * *

As the days wore on Lily began to wonder if she was underestimating the situation and that Hermione had the perfect measure of it. Jacob had been turning up everywhere she turned, even if it was just in passing as she went to Charms and he was heading down to Ancient Runes. She even managed to meet up with him as she was going down to Care of Magical Creatures and he was going to Herbology. He was a nice guy and all, but his presence was starting to make Lily feel uneasy. She had never been comfortable around boys who weren't already her friends. During Transfiguration, he would ask her for help at least once in every class. He only stopped when he noticed how exhausted Lily seemed and realised he was becoming unbearable to her.

That really wasn't the reason Lily seemed so tired. She had just woken up one morning, feeling like she had when she had the seizure, except no seizure followed. She had been going through her days a walking zombie, her eyes unfocused, her face pale, and her bones aching. She had to cancel Quidditch practise one time because she couldn't even muster enough energy to get on a broom. The team strongly doubted if she would be able to play in the coming match in March. Even during the practises when she was able to fly around and play, she was flying terribly and when she shouted her calls her voice didn't reach Ron at the opposite end of the pitch.

During Transfiguration, the day before their match against Ravenclaw, she was sitting on her desk with her face in her arms. She had completed the assignment and Professor McGonagall had seen how worn out she looked and told her if she really needed to she could take a nap during her class. Sleeping was useless, her body was tired, but her mind was awake. She knew she wasn't going to be able to play in the match the next day, but she had to. She had already missed the last match; she couldn't afford to miss this one. She didn't care how nauseous she felt, or how much sweat had beaded up on her forehead from just sitting in a classroom.

"Are you okay?" Jacob asked, taking a seat beside her.

Lily raised her head off the desk and looked at him, not caring that she must have looked like a mess. He didn't seem to care either though. "I'm sick," she moaned miserably.

"What about the Quidditch match tomorrow? You're not going to play are you?"

Lily shrugged. She wanted to play, but she knew if Madam Pomfrey caught her in this position than she wouldn't be able to.

"Maybe you should go to the Hospital Wing," he suggested.

"No," Lily said quickly. "I'm not that sick."

"Who are you trying to kid? Look in the mirror, you're really sick."

"_Look_ Jacob, I said I'm fine. I've just got a head cold or something."

She was spared from answering another question as the bell as rung at the perfect time. She packed up her books as fast as she could and stormed out of the class, losing Jacob in the crowd and joining up with Harry, Ron and Hermione at the end of the hall. They walked up to the seventh floor to deposit their books in the common room and then went down to the Great Hall for dinner. As they were walking, Harry and Ron took this time to voice their opinions about Lily playing in the match the next day. It was an important match and they couldn't risk anything happening, it was the game that decided if they would make it to the finals. Hermione, on the other hand, seemed more concerned with her friend's health rather than Gryffindor's chances of making it to the finals.

"Lily, just look at yourself," she said, snatching up Parvati's mirror when they reached the Great Hall. Lily glanced in it for a split second before sitting down at the table and closing the subject. She knew her friends were only concerned for her, but she couldn't take it anymore. Their voices were like nails scraping on a blackboard and she just didn't want to listen. Harry, Ron and Hermione dismissed the subject and ate dinner in silence.

Lily couldn't eat though, just looking at the food make her stomach churn terribly. So she excused herself from the table and retreated to the dormitory. Her head felt like it would split in two as she walked up the stairs. She had felt fine for weeks and now all of the sudden she felt like garbage. She really was beginning to wonder if her theory was right, and when she had written to her mother about it, her mother agreed with her. In fact, she had already confronted Snape about it, but he had denied everything and acted as though she was losing her mind. She knew the idea seemed far fetched to most, but to her it was the answer to why she was so sick.

It had seemed to her that her sickness had gone into remission for the past few weeks, and she had been fine with that. It would buy her more time at least. Now it was back in full force and she was definitely getting the worst of it. This was what worried her, if this was its worst then wouldn't that mean that the third solution to the problem would take place? It always went that way. First the victim would be incredibly sick and then they would just die in their sleep. It was this thought that scared her most, she didn't want to go to bed one night and not wake up the next morning.

"Miss Black, may I talk to you for a moment?" Lily turned to see Professor McGonagall walking up the stairs behind her. Lily didn't want to talk to the professor, she wanted to go and lie down, but she went with the professor anyway. Professor McGonagall led her down the third floor corridor towards the Transfiguration classroom. She gestured for Lily to sit down in one of the vacant desks and the professor took a seat at her desk.

"I don't think you should play in the match tomorrow," Professor McGonagall admitted.

"Professor, I'm fine," Lily argued, even though she knew it was useless.

"No, you're not. Ever since that full moon at the beginning of January, you have not been fit to play Quidditch. I've seen you during practises recently; you are in no condition to play."

"Professor, I'm fine. I'll be able to play!"

"Black, I am your head of house and therefore I am allowed to tell you when you can and cannot do things. This is one of them."

Lily was quiet for a minute, thinking of any possible reason that she had to play. Then lightening struck… all of those new plays had come in handy after all.

"The team has all those new plays and stuff, no one else knows them except us," she protested. "We can't teach a different Chaser them in one night… we'll lose!" She had done it; that was the clincher. Professor McGonagall wanted to win the cup just as bad as the team did; she didn't want to lose. The corner of McGonagall's mouth twitched as she thought the situation over. Lily knew she had gotten through just by how long it took before she received an answer.

"Fine," the professor said. "You may play, but you must promise me that if you feel like something's going to happen you will call a timeout."

"I will. Thanks."


	7. More Than You Could Ask For

Chapter Seven  
More Than You Could Ask For

The Gryffindor team stood in the centre of the pitch, broomsticks securely on their shoulders, looking up at the bright blue sky. It was the perfect weather for a match, especially an important match like this one; they couldn't risk losing. They had to make it to the finals, no matter what. They could see the Ravenclaw team approaching them from the opposite end of the field; the game was about to start. Lily looked around at the team and gave them a nod, signaling for them to get ready. Lily scratched the back of her head, hoping that she would stay in this condition for the game. When she had woken up that morning she felt perfectly okay; she just needed to remain that way until Harry caught the Snitch.

When both teams were facing each other, Madam Hooch approached, carrying the chest with the game balls.

"Captains," she said, looking at Lily and the Ravenclaw Captain, Anthony Goldstein. "Shake hands." Lily and Anthony quickly shook hands and got ready. "Now, mount your brooms." The teams mounted their brooms and took off with a roar of excitement coming from the stands.

"Welcome to another fine game of Quidditch," said commentator Jacob Lawrence. "Today's match is Gryffindor verses Ravenclaw. This is a very important match, as everyone knows; this decides who will be facing Slytherin in the Quidditch Finals. The Quaffle has been released and the game is on!"

The Chasers lunged forward, scrambling to get the Quaffle and Demelza Robins of Gryffindor emerged with the Quaffle tucked safely under her arm. She sped towards the Ravenclaw Keeper and tossed the Quaffle and,

"Score for Gryffindor!" shouted Jacob as the scoreboard changed to 10-0 in Gryffindor's favour. Lily was now in possession of the Quaffle and was aiming to score. "Black of Gryffindor, back from her sick leave, is now in possession of the Quaffle. She shoots, and misses."

There was a groan of disappointment from the Gryffindor end and a loud uproar from Ravenclaw. Lily, yet again, had the Quaffle, but when she was moving towards the Ravenclaw end she slowed down and seemed to space out, only to be brought back to reality by Harry yelling at her. Now woken up, she managed to score for Gryffindor, making the score 20-0. The game went on in a pattern after that, first Gryffindor would score, then Ravenclaw, then Gryffindor, and on it went. Harry had to find that snitch soon otherwise the game would never end.

Lily was beginning to feel dizzy; they needed to get that snitch. They were not going to postpone the match because of her. She managed to narrowly avoid being hit by a Bludger and decided that instead of trying to score, she would just prevent the other team from scoring. She managed to stop a Ravenclaw Chaser from scoring on Ron, who seemed immensely grateful about this. The game went on and still neither Seeker had caught sight of the Snitch. It seemed that the game had gone on for four hours rather than two. Ginny had just scored making the score 160-140 in Gryffindor's favour.

"So we're now entering the third hour of the match," said a rather bored Jacob. "These players must have some bladders because if I have to stand here for one more second –"

"Lawrence," said Professor McGonagall warningly.

"Sorry. Anyway, Gryffindor is now in possession of the Quaffle. Weasley shoots and scores. 170-140, Gryffindor." The Gryffindors cheered unenthusiastically and went on watching the game as though they were sitting in History of Magic. "Black of Gryffindor is now in possession of the Quaffle - shoots and misses, the score remains the same."

Lily snapped her fingers in disappointment and turned to help her fellow Chasers. However, as she was nearing them, her stomach lurched painfully and her head felt as though it might explode. She ignored it and went on, her eyes squinted in pain. She couldn't move any further; she was in such pain she couldn't muster the energy to move her broom. She tried to lower herself closer to the ground, but a sheet of blackness covered her eyes and she passed out. It was only faintly that she heard someone from far away yell in the midst of cheers, "Professor McGonagall, look!"

"Lily! Lily, wake up!" said an anxious voice from somewhere in the distance. But Lily didn't want to wake up; she liked it in the darkness. The pain didn't seem as intense here; if she opened her eyes it would be worse. "Lily, please."

Using all of her strength, Lily opened her eyes and found that she was still lying in the Quidditch pitch. She couldn't have been out for too long. Professor McGonagall was sitting over her, her face pale. Lily made to sit up but the professor quickly stopped her. "No, don't move." Lily didn't need telling twice, her whole body ached and her back was searing in pain. "Potter just went to get Madam Pomfrey."

Lily stayed on the ground, breathing heavily, trying to remember what happened before she blacked out. She had been trying to catch up with the Chasers, but her stomach was churning and her head was pounding. She must have blacked out. She must have fallen off her broom. That was when she realised that all around her the Gryffindor team was watching her nervously, though they could hardly contain their grins. That was when she remembered the match… they must have won if the team was smiling. Professor McGonagall seemed to figure out what she was thinking, as she said that Harry had managed to snag the snitch right when she hit the ground.

Lily smiled, pleased that they were in the finals, but even smiling made her body ache, so she stopped. Madam Pomfrey appeared next to Professor McGonagall and observed Lily through wide eyes. The nurse stood up, waved her wand, and Lily found herself floating in thin air.

She was brought to the Hospital Wing where Harry, Ron and Hermione were waiting, their faces as pale as McGonagall's. They immediately stood up when the nurse walked in and made way for her to walk through. Madam Pomfrey made a simple wand movement and Lily landed softly on the one of the beds. Harry, Ron and Hermione took seats around her bed and waited for the nurse to do what she needed to.

"We won," said Harry, trying to make conversation.

Lily smiled, though she already knew they had won. She wanted to say something, but her jaw was completely against moving, much like the rest of her body. She was in so much pain she couldn't stand it. Madam Pomfrey came back into the room moments later with her arms full of potions. She shooed Harry, Ron and Hermione from the room and immediately began administering the potions to her patient. The potions tasted horrible, much like all of the potions she took after her transformation in January, but they enabled her to ask questions.

"What happened?" she asked the nurse between potions.

Madam Pomfrey capped the bottle she was holding, "You fell off your broom," she said plainly. Then, elaborating, she continued, "no one seemed to notice as Potter had just caught the Snitch, but the commentator saw and yelled it out. You may have broken your back, so that was why Professor McGonagall wanted you to remain still."

Lily had thought that was what happened, as her back was still throbbing, but Madam Pomfrey didn't care if she moved. In fact, she encouraged it. Lily was done taking her potions and was now watching lazily as Madam Pomfrey moved about the Hospital Wing, muttering about how dangerous Quidditch was. She could also hear the nurse say that they should not have let Lily play in the condition she was in. Normally, Lily would've disagreed with the nurse, saying she was in perfect condition for a match, but now she agreed. She had been so stupid to have begged Professor McGonagall to let her play when she knew very well how sick she was. She just didn't want to let her team down, and she wanted to have some fun. Was that too much to ask? She didn't think it was.

She wished this hadn't happened. She wished she was never bitten by the werewolf. She wished that she had known better than to take a potion from Professor Snape when he was in a foul mood. She wished she had never been in St. Mungo's with an illness that could kill her. Most of all, she wished that she had never been taken away from her real family. She had always wished Sirius had never been framed because of the injustice of it and that Sirius was a man who didn't deserve to be imprisoned. Now she wished he hadn't been imprisoned and that Peter had been caught because than Rachael never would have given her up. True she would still have her doubts about giving Lily the same childhood she had; she wouldn't worry as much because Sirius would have been there to reassure her.

Sirius had known that she was his daughter. Sirius had found out within the very last hours, or days, of his life that his long lost daughter had been right under his nose the whole time. She wondered if Sirius had told anyone about his discovery. He clearly didn't tell Remus because Remus was so shocked himself to find this out. Then she thought, _what if he told Dumbledore?_ Professor Dumbledore would have been the first person he would have told if it hadn't been Remus. Then why would the professor keep it from her? Unless he didn't want anyone to tell her until Sirius did, that had to be it. She needed to ask him, but she couldn't get to his office with Madam Pomfrey still lurking about. Luckily the door to the ward opened and in strode the Headmaster himself, with Rachael standing behind him.

Rachael's face was incredibly pale as she looked at her daughter; the reoccurrences of these accidents was definitely getting to her. She didn't know how much more of this she could take. Professor Dumbledore put a comforting hand on Rachael's shoulder and pushed her down into a seat beside the hospital bed.

"Well, Miss Black," he said in his most pleasant voice. "It seems that, yet again, you have had us all frightened."

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to –"

Dumbledore held up a hand to stop her. "No need to apologise, I understand your wanting to play in the match after having been refused to the last time. You want to lead your team to victory, do you not?"

"Well, yes, but-"

"Then you must learn to pace yourself. You have been stricken with an illness that is unknown to our kind; we have not yet been able to understand the cause of it." Lily exchanged a significant glance with her mother, both of them thinking along the same lines. "So you mustn't try to do everything at once and exert yourself to do things you know you are in no condition to do. Do you understand?"

"Yes, sir."

"Very good, now if you'll excuse me."

Now it was Lily's turn to stop him.

"Wait, Professor, I wanted to ask you something, privately," she added, giving her mother a pointed glance.

"But of course, Miss Black." Professor Dumbledore strode over to the door, opening it for Rachael, who left rather reluctantly. Resuming his seat, he nodded his head for her to continue.

"I was just wondering… before my father died… did he tell you anything, anything at all, that would give you an idea that he realised what had happened to me?"

Professor Dumbledore sighed heavily and rubbed his temples.

"You have to understand that your father loved you very much," Professor Dumbledore said. "I remember the first Order meeting he attended after you were born, he brought you with him and couldn't help but show you off to us. He only wanted what was best for you. So, to answer your question, yes, he did tell me."

"Well, what'd he say?"

"He said he was happy you'd grown up away from them. He had always said when he became a father, he wanted to be more than that; he wanted to be able to be friends with his child. By you growing up away from your family, he was able to do that. He became your friend. He said he had been becoming suspicious. You know very well the striking resemblance you share with your mother, he didn't want to get his hopes up when he had seen it. He couldn't deny that you have his eyes.

"The night before he died I had been at Headquarters discussing Remus's mission for the Order, he asked to speak with me privately. He told me of his suspicions and I confirmed them."

"Wait…" said Lily slowly. Professor Dumbledore had known all along and he had never bothered to tell her? "You knew this?"

"Indeed, I did," Dumbledore concurred. "But you'll remember that it was your mother who wanted to reveal this to you. I had no say in the matter. All I could do was to tell Sirius that you were not Lily Jameson as he had thought, but Lily Black, the daughter he had loved so much."

Lily nodded, her stomach in a painful knot. Sirius _had_ known and that was what made her knowing worse. She had never gotten to speak to her true father as his daughter. She had only talked to him as the girl that was friends with his godson, whom he adored as though he was his son.

"Sirius did love Harry very much," said Dumbledore as though he had read her mind. "It probably makes you wonder if he used the love he had for you and gave it to Harry." Lily nodded shamefully. "He admitted that to me. He said that if he couldn't love his daughter that much because he didn't know her, then he could at least do the same for his godson. The next day at the Ministry, when we were getting ready to leave, he told me that if anything happened to him and he never got the chance, he wanted me to tell you that he is proud of you. You are more than he could ever ask for."

Professor Dumbledore left, probably thinking that he had made Lily feel better by telling her what he had, but he had done the complete opposite. She felt horrible, not for herself, she felt bad for Sirius. He had never known his daughter because he was locked up in Azkaban for twelve years; he was taken away from everything he loved so much. James and Lily were killed, he was blamed for it. Peter had betrayed them all. Sirius left Remus without his friends. His wife and daughter were left thinking that he had betrayed them, when that was the last thing he ever wanted to do. Sure she had never known her true family for years, but at least she was with people who loved her as though she were their own. Sirius never had that even when he was child. He wasn't anything but a blood traitor to his parents; Hogwarts was his home where his friends lived.

Maybe that was why Sirius and Rachael got along so well. They both had similar situations when it came to their families. Rachael had a mother who had hated her with every gut and nerve she possessed. Sirius was an insult to his family, but such a great person to others. Then he was thought to be a murderer and a betrayer throughout the entire Wizarding community, when he was the one who was betrayed. Everyone had betrayed him. Every person who thought it was his fault that Lily and James died had betrayed him, and that even meant his own wife. He was the one who was betrayed and, even though he was innocent, he still died with the title of murderer. The ones who knew that it wasn't his fault were the ones that really mattered.

Rachael peered into the room and saw that her daughter was awake; looking as though she could use some company.

"How are you feeling?" Rachael asked.

"Fine," Lily lied. "Mum, you don't have to be here. Madam Pomfrey's taking good care of me." She didn't like what her condition was doing to her mother, she wanted it to end.

"No," said Rachael firmly. "I will stay here until I want to leave."

"Mum, please, I don't want to talk to anyone!"

"Then we don't have to talk," Rachael said simply, making herself comfortable on her chair.

Lily opened her mouth to protest but one look at her mother told her it was useless, she wasn't budging. Lily wasn't going to give her the satisfaction of talking to her, so she rolled over onto her side, squinting in pain as she did so. She shut her eyes, willing herself to fall asleep. However, it was still too early to fall asleep. It could only be mid afternoon at the very latest. The match had last three hours, but it had started at eleven; it must have been around three.

She knew her mother hadn't left the room, nor changed her position at all. She was going to stubbornly wait for her daughter to break and talk to her. Rachael didn't seem to need Lily to start the conversation; she started one on her own.

"What you did was something Sirius would've done," she said in a reminiscent sort of voice. "Playing when you knew you couldn't, that is… Sirius always did stuff he shouldn't when he was sick or injured." She waited for Lily to say something, but Lily was determined to fall asleep so she could finally get the privacy she wanted. "I remember one time he had a really bad case of the flu and it was a full moon and he still went to the Shrieking Shack. He ended up falling down the stairs from being so sick. Luckily he didn't break any bones."

"That's great, Mum," Lily muttered, letting her annoyance show in her voice. "But I really-"

"Dumbledore told me what you wanted to ask him," Rachael interrupted.

This got Lily's attention and she rolled over to face her mother.

"Did he?" she said.

"Yes and you should be happy to know how proud he was of you. You really are the daughter he always wanted."

"But I don't feel happy," Lily said hopelessly. "I mean, I knew _Sirius,_ but I never knew my _dad_."

"Yes you did!" Rachael disagreed. "That man who you knew was your father; he acted as he always had!"

"How do you know? You didn't decide to show up until Uncle Remus called you!" Lily didn't know what had come over her, but she had the desire to let everything that had been boiling up inside of her come out in this furious rage. "How hard could you have looked? Hogwarts would've been the first place you looked!"

Rachael looked as though she had been struck across the face.

"Don't you talk to me like that," she warned.

"I don't care! I thought I knew who I was and then one day you pop up and suddenly I realise I was an orphan? That my mother just gave me up because she didn't know if she could hack being a mother."

"Lily, I didn't want you-"

"– To have the childhood you did, but it wasn't all bad! Your mother loved you, didn't she? It was just that one day when you went into the forest when it all ended. But that was when you were eight! Wait, I know the next part too… you spent that next three years in living hell, right? But then you went to Hogwarts and it was all good! Second year stunk, didn't it? But after that it couldn't have been all bad? Grandma was in Azkaban then, and then she was under house arrest. The only reason fifth year was horrible for you was because grandpa died and Sirius kissed some other girl."

"I was only fifteen when I lost my dad-"

"So was I! And you know what was worse? I didn't know it. It took me months before I knew Sirius was my dad. I just wish I had gotten to talk to him as his daughter! Was that too much to ask?" Rachael didn't say anything, so Lily continued. "I bet it is, isn't it? But, you know, if all goes as planned I might be speaking to him very soon, won't I?"

"Lily, don't talk like that."

"I'll talk any way I want to! We all know I'm going to die right? So why not shout it to the world? Let every Wizard and Muggle know that I am going to die!"

The door to the Hospital Wing office swung open and Madam Pomfrey came bustling in, looking quite scandalized.

"What has been going on out here?" she exclaimed, looking from Lily to Rachael. Rachael got up and put her cloak on.

"I was just trying to have a chat with Lily here," she said in the most pleasant voice she could muster. Then, looking down at her daughter, she smiled in a grim sort of way. "I won't make that mistake again."

With a curt nod to Madam Pomfrey, she left the ward and slammed the door behind her. Madam Pomfrey looked curiously at Lily, wondering what had caused Rachael to say what she did, but she shrugged it off and returned to her office.

Lily knew that her mother was trying to make her feel bad, but she didn't feel that way at all. She had meant everything she said. She didn't want to hear any more about Rachael's childhood and how she never had a decent family. That wasn't anything compared to never knowing your family, and then realising that someone you had been talking to for two years was really your father. Then she had him die before you could ever make the connection. She didn't why her mother would keep bringing her childhood up, it just made Lily feel horrible. Why would she insist on sitting there when Lily blatantly stated that she didn't want to talk to anyone? She wanted privacy; it was the least they could do for her.


	8. A Rift Mended

Chapter Eight  
A Rift Mended

Lily was let out of the Hospital Wing Tuesday afternoon and was more than happy to get back to the bustle of the castle. She didn't even mind going back to class, as it provided her with great distractions to keep her mind off the conversation she had with her mother. She had been dwelling on nothing else but that. It kept replaying in her mind and each time it made her feel considerably guiltier. She hadn't heard from her mother since; she doubted that her mother would try contacting her for a while. Lily would have to make the first move. She was too busy catching up with the work she had missed at the moment and didn't get the chance.

During Transfiguration on Wednesday, as she was copying down notes, she was confronted for the first time by Jacob. He had completed copying his notes and took the vacant seat beside her, as Hermione went on an errand for Professor McGonagall and the professor excused herself to the bathroom.

"How're you feeling?" he asked.

"Fine," Lily said shortly, getting sick of people constantly asking her.

"Good," he said slowly, looking at the notes she was copying. "You know, I really can't believe you played in the match."

Lily sighed in disgust and placed her quill down.

"I know you can't believe that," she snapped. "Everyone keeps saying that! 'Oh, Lily, you were in no condition to play' or 'you could have been hurt much worse.' Everyone just doesn't understand that I wanted to play before I wasn't able to anymore."

Jacob raised an eyebrow.

"Please don't talk like that," he said. "Don't think like that, Dumbledore's bound to find _something_ that-"

"You really don't understand, do you? I'm not going on a self pity rant; I'm getting used to the fact that this could be the end of my life."

"Lily… just stop talking like that. You're not going to die."

"How do you know that? How does anyone know that? I didn't want to believe it, but now I'm not denying it. Besides, it's got to be better than feeling the way I've been for weeks."

"But-"

"Lawrence, back to your seat."

Jacob looked up and saw that Professor McGonagall had just reentered the room. Getting up, while asking Lily if she would wait for him once class was over, he retreated to the opposite end of the room.

Hermione turned up shortly after and resumed her seat beside Lily. They spent the remainder of the period practising what they had been copying - limb transformation. Professor McGonagall gave each student an animal and they would have to try transfiguring their ears to resemble that of the animal.

Lily had to admit she had a good time trying to get her ears to look like those of a kangaroo. She failed dismally on her first attempt, merely making her ears fuzzy. She earned a laugh from Hermione, who was having just as much trouble getting her ears to become monkey-like. The lesson completely drove every bitter thought out of her mind and for that she was immensely grateful.

After three more tries she had full-fledged kangaroo ears. She was admiring them in the mirror, vaguely wondering if she should let them stick for a while. Professor McGonagall seemed to pick up on what she was thinking and told her that, if she didn't transfigure them back, then they might become permanent.

The bell rang shortly after and Lily was just about to walk down to the Great Hall when she remembered that she had promised to talk to Jacob. She waited patiently outside the Transfiguration classroom, as Jacob was talking to Terry Boot and Terry didn't seem to be keen on ending the conversation very soon. Jacob managed to shake him off as they reached the door and joined up with Lily. The two made their way down the hallway quietly.

"So," said Lily. "I'm guessing you wanted to continue our conversation?"

Much to her surprise, Jacob shook his head.

"No, I just wanted to talk to you," he said truthfully. "I mean, you had a good time at Hogsmeade, just talking like you do with Harry, Ron and Hermione."

"Yeah, I did," Lily agreed, adjusting the strap on her book bag.

"So, let's talk then," he said. "Like friends."

"Okay… so… you're part Muggle, right?" Jacob nodded. "Listen to any Muggle music?"

"Yeah, it annoys my dad, but I blame my mum for making me like it."

"What kind do you like?"

"Rock mostly, but I'll listen to other stuff if I'm forced to."

"Me too, except rap. You'll have to beat me unconscious to get me to sit still for that."

Jacob laughed and nodded his head.

"What's your favourite band?" he asked.

"The Stones. One of my friends from my old Muggle school thinks I'm crazy for liking them."

"No, you're not. They're pretty good; I'm more of a Beatles fan."

The conversation carried on until they reached the Great Hall. They went from talking about music to movies. Then they went to the usual wizard topics, such as Quidditch and how they were both horrible Exploding Snap players. They both agreed that Gobstones was their cup of tea, mostly because they found it hilarious when the other person got squirted with the nasty liquid. When they reached the Great Hall they separated, saying they would talk later if they could.

Lily walked over to the Gryffindor table and took her usual seat beside Hermione.

"You're happy," Hermione commented, though not looking up from her dinner.

"I guess I am," said Lily, surprising even herself with her sudden happiness.

"I take it you've made up with your mother then?" Harry asked.

This question caught Lily by surprise, as she had not talked with her mother since their arguement in the Hospital Wing. She shook her head and began to become very interested in her dinner.

Her friends exchanged glances and she knew an inquiry was coming.

"Why not?" Hermione asked.

"Because I really don't have anything to say," Lily answered, feeling highly bothered by them interrogating her.

"You really shouldn't have blown up at her like that though."

"Hermione, when did you become my shrink?"

She hadn't meant it to come out as harsh as it did, but, in all honesty, she didn't want to be questioned any further about the situation. She wanted to talk to her when she was ready, and she didn't know when that would be. After that not one of her friends decided to ask her anymore questions. Once dinner had concluded Harry, Ron and Hermione left the table without even waiting for Lily to finish. This didn't take Lily by surprise though, she _had_ been rude.

But so what if she was being rude? They had no right to keep badgering her about the fight she was having with her mother. She intended to apologise and that should have been enough. She just did not feel ready to do it yet; she wanted to wait and they would have to accept that. Looking at her friends' backs, she wondered if she should go after them and apologise for her sharpness. She didn't think they would listen to her right then, so she stayed in her seat and mulled over her History of Magic notes, though not focusing on what she was reading. She set the notes down on the table and rested her head on the table. She still didn't feel that great after her accident on the Quidditch field. Every now and then she would feel slightly dizzy. Now was one of those times, so she found herself feeling slightly grateful that her friends had left the table.

Looking across the hall, she could see the Slytherin table and saw Malfoy doing a stunning reenactment of a seizure, grinning broadly as the Slytherin table roared with laughter. They laughed even more when they noticed Lily was watching them. She rolled her eyes in annoyance. How could somebody go as low as to make fun of someone when they had a seizure? It was even crueler when Malfoy started pretending he was falling off of his broom. She really couldn't stand that kid, but she knew he would get what was coming to him, or at least he would be humiliated. When she saw a baked potato fly from nowhere and hit him square in the face, she couldn't help but laugh out loud. The hall burst into a torrent of laughter and Lily looked around to find the potato flinger. Looking over towards the Ravenclaw table, she saw Jacob receiving a high five from Terry Boot. Jacob looked towards the Gryffindor table and saw Lily watching him; he smiled widely.

"Thanks," she mouthed and he nodded proudly.

* * *

Nimbus scurried about the room, barking loudly and happily, as Lily sat in the corner smiling at the sight. Her dog had been running about the house like a wolf ever since she went home for Easter Break. It was actually a good change, since the mood in the house hadn't been the greatest. Lily had not made up with her mother and, because of this; her mother was in a bitter mood. The same could be said for Lily's mood. The moment she stepped inside the house her mood had taken a rapid descent. In order to avoid any awkward moments or confrontations she holed herself up in her room, taking Nimbus along with her. Nimbus provided good company as he never got bored or too rowdy; he would simply run in circles, chasing his tail joyfully.

Nimbus also was quite the conversationalist; he would listen to anything she had to say and would even respond with the changing tones of his barks. She recounted to him all the events of the past few weeks, starting with her trip to Hogsmeade and ending with the fight she had with Rachael in the Hospital Wing. Although Nimbus couldn't give her advice like a human could, he at least seemed to understand what she was talking about, and that gave her a little comfort. She was still contemplating on what she could say to her mother, something that could explain her rash talking, but she didn't know what. She didn't know what made her act the way she had. She just couldn't take it anymore; she needed to vent her anger and that was the best way to do it, or it seemed the best at the time. She had achieved nothing from expressing her anger; it only made her mother furious with her.

Nimbus stopped scurrying about the room and skidded to a halt right in front of Lily, who picked him up and placed him in her lap. Stroking him behind the ear, she gazed at the wall across from her. She could just say sorry. She could just say she was in a bad mood, which was the truth after all. She was so frustrated at the moment and she couldn't help herself, she really couldn't. If that wasn't a good enough reason than she would have to lie. Nimbus barked softly as she thought this, as though he was approving of her idea.

Picking him up and facing him towards her she smiled and said, "You give real good advice, you know that?"

Nimbus barked happily. She placed him on the floor and went downstairs. She entered the kitchen and saw her mother supervising the knives as they chopped away at a group of vegetables.

Rachael didn't look up when her daughter entered the room, she merely muttered, "Dinner's not ready yet."

Lily rolled her eyes; it would figure that her mother would assume she only came downstairs to see if she could finally eat something.

"I wasn't coming down here for that," Lily replied, keeping her voice even. Rachael didn't answer, she just waved her wand and the knives replaced themselves back in the rack. She moved on to stirring some soup. "I wanted to talk to you."

"Lily, I'm busy at the moment," Rachael said simply, though she couldn't have been less busy if she tried.

Lily couldn't believe this, here she was trying to make amends with her mother and she wouldn't even listen to her.

"No you're not," Lily snapped. Then, quickly realising that wasn't the smartest thing to do, she said in a calmer voice, "You're not busy, you just don't want to talk."

"Lily, I'm cooking," Rachael continued firmly.

"Mum, come off it! You're always saying you don't want us to have the relationship you had with grandma and yet you're doing a very good job of achieving that."

This got Rachael's attention. She turned on her daughter and pointing a threatening finger in her face. Lily, however, didn't flinch once.

"Don't you dare accuse me of doing that," Rachael snarled.

"Why not?" asked Lily. "You and grandma never talked when you were in an arguement. _We're_ in an arguement and we're not talking. If you don't want us to end up like that then just listen to me. Please?"

Rachael appeared reluctant at first to give in, but the thought of becoming like her mother made her see different. Setting her wand down on the counter, she took a seat at the kitchen table.

"Thank you," said Lily gratefully.

"What do you want to talk about?" Rachael questioned, letting her bitterness slide into her voice.

"Look, I really don't know what to say about how I talked to you the other day. I had no right to say what I did."

"Of course you had no right to say what you did."

"I _know_. I was just frustrated I guess; I had so much anger to let out and you were the first person who I could vent it out on."

To Lily's utter surprise, she saw Rachael was smiling reminiscently.

"Remus would do that," Rachael said thoughtfully. "In our second year he kept his anger bottled up for too long and he ended up beating up Snape because of it." Lily's eyes widened in surprise; she could never picture her uncle beating up Snape. He always seemed indifferent to the slime ball. "But you still shouldn't have said those things," she added quickly, adopting an authority voice.

"I know I shouldn't have," Lily agreed. "I just wanted to say I'm sorry." She waited for Rachael to say something, but she was silent for far too long. "I'll be leaving now."

She meant it literally. She got up from her chair, grabbed the leash off its hook, called for Nimbus (who came hurrying down the stairs) and left the house. She had apologised, that was her only intention. Yet her mother couldn't even say anything in response. She knew very well that she had been rude and her mother didn't deserve the rudeness she had received. She had thought that her mother could forgive her. It was their first real arguement and she wanted to end it as quick as possible. She didn't seem to be getting to the end of it. If anything, she just made it worse by walking out.

She watched Nimbus run along the path, chasing a dragonfly that had strayed by them. She didn't know where she was going really; she just needed to escape for a while. She didn't understand why her mother had bothered making her come home for the Easter break if she didn't want to hear or give an apology. Lily needed to remain at school so she could study for her upcoming N.E.W.T. Examinations. She couldn't do that when she was home. She had done everything in her power to persuade her mother to see things her way, but her efforts proved futile when Professor McGonagall turned on her and said it would be a good idea for her to return home. The professor merely explained that it would be good for her to be at home; maybe it would help improve her health. Lily wasn't stupid, she knew the real reason. Professor McGonagall wanted the two to make amends and figured it would happen if they were stuck together for a week.

The professor's intentions clearly weren't working, as Rachael and Lily had barely any conversation, save for the one they just had. The most they would normally say would be good morning, good night, and Rachael asking if her daughter felt okay. Lily merely went through the motions when she talked to her mother; she wasn't listening and didn't expect Rachael was either. But then, just then, it looked as though there was a small glimmer of hope for them; it looked as though Rachael might accept her apology, but she didn't. She didn't say anything at all after learning that Lily was sincerely sorry.

Shaking her head, she pulled tighter on the leash, as Nimbus was getting too far ahead of her. Directing him to the left, she found that she had aimlessly wandered into the cemetery. The last time she had been here was on the last full moon and she hadn't stayed that long, which made her feel bad. She walked through the rows and found the grave she was looking for.

"So," she said, stooping down and picking her dog up. "I assume you would know what to do when you had arguements with her. Just saying sorry doesn't help very much, does it? Is she one of the kinds of people who like to hold grudges until they hear what they want to hear? The thing of it is that I don't know what she wants to hear. Does she want to hear some long apology saying that I was wrong in everything I've ever said to her? Because I wasn't wrong in everything I said; Mum's life wasn't all bad. She had you. She had Lily and James and Sirius and Peter, even though Peter turned out to be a filthy traitor. He was nice in his day, I guess. I wish someone could just tell me what she wants to hear. I'm sick of the stupid silences and the glares and everything. I get enough of that at school; I don't need that from my own mother."

Lily stopped talking; she thought she heard someone behind her. When she turned around, she saw nothing but the vast rows of graves. Shrugging it off, she turned back to the grave and stroked Nimbus on the top of the head.

"I assume that's what she wants though," she said miserably. "A long poem or something so she can know I'm really sorry. But I'm no poet, I can't write beautiful apologies. I can't even say them. All I _can_ say is sorry and that doesn't seem to be good enough. I should just let it go… its useless trying."

Again she heard something behind her, and this time she saw her mother approaching her. Lily wondered if she had heard everything she said. If she did, she could only imagine what Rachael thought of it. Rachael's face looked quite impassive, which made Lily worry.

"Hi Mum," she said uncertainly.

"Hullo," said Rachael quietly, her expression remaining the same. Lily glanced down at the grave again, and noticed her mother watching her.

"Remus gives you advice even now?" she said, though not sarcastically. Lily nodded. "I heard everything you said, if you're wondering."

"Did you?" asked Lily nervously. She didn't know why she was nervous. She hadn't said anything deliberately offensive, but what she said could be taken the wrong way. She didn't want that to happen, because then they would never forgive each other.

"I don't want a long apology," she said plainly. "I don't want it to be beautiful; I just want you to mean it."

"The first time I said it, I meant it and you didn't say anything."

Rachael sighed and nodded. "I didn't know what to think… but I do now. I accept your apology. I really don't want us to be on bad terms considering the circumstances. You're my only child, and I don't want to lose you and I don't want to be mad at you."

"I don't want us to be mad either. I'm just frustrated. You know that I've accepted what might happen to me, but it doesn't mean I'm happy with it." She stood up and looked at her mum. "I just want whatever time I have left with you and my friends to be happy."

Getting a closer look, Lily noticed her mother seemed to be struggling to keep her tears at bay. Lily only knew what this was doing to her. She did know her mum was having a hard time with it, she didn't know how hard of a time though.

"I want it to be happy too," Rachael choked, pulling her daughter into a hug and sobbing into her shoulder. Lily wanted to cry along with her, but she couldn't. She told herself a long time ago that, if she accepted her fate, then she wouldn't cry over it. Clearly Rachael had not come to accept this. She said nothing to her weeping mother, but merely patted her on the back, knowing that she could not say everything was going to be okay. She didn't want to lie.


	9. Confessions and Duels

Chapter Nine  
Confessions and Duels

It was another full moon the day after Easter and Lily was definitely feeling the worst of it. She felt so sick she couldn't even gather enough strength to get herself out of bed. She tried many times to get out of bed, but finally gave up when she fell off the bed and hit her head on the nightstand in the process. She was knocked out for ten minutes before Rachael found her. She spent the most part of the day dozing in and out of fitful sleeps, not eating anything when her mother appeared at the door asking if she was hungry. She strongly doubted that anything she ate would remain in her stomach.

Lying on her bed, she gazed out the window at the steadily darkening sky. She was going to have to get up soon. She didn't think she would have the energy to get from her room, down the stairs, and out to the yard. Rachael would help her though, so she didn't have to worry. She just wondered if this transformation would be worse than the one in January. Between the ones from then to this one, her transformations had been no big deal. It was now early April and she hadn't had a transformation different from her usual ones. This fact drove the idea of Snape tampering with her potion completely out of her mind. There was just one thing that was bothering her.

She had, once again, infuriated Snape before he gave her the Wolfsbane Potion. She knew she shouldn't have said anything, but she couldn't help it; it was as if some unknown force had taken her over. Walking past the Potions classroom the day before Easter break started, she caught Snape yelling at Jacob Lawrence. Snape was telling Jacob that he was a sorry excuse for a wizard, all because he had one mishap with the potion he was making. It wasn't any of her business to step in, but the way Snape was yelling at him infuriated her. He was making it sound as if Jacob was the densest wizard in the world.

So, in her anger, she stepped in between Snape and Jacob and told the Potions Master off, earning herself twenty points deducted from Gryffindor and a detention the day she got back from break. Then he shooed them off, making it known that he had a potion to be working on and he didn't need their presence. Walking out of the dungeons with his friend, Jacob told her he was grateful for what she did, but he couldn't stay and talk because he had to go pack his trunk so he'd be ready to leave the next morning. Wishing him a Happy Easter, Lily watched him go off in the direction of the Ravenclaw common room. As she hurried to Gryffindor Tower, she realised she had an odd feeling in her stomach. It was something that she had never experienced before and she knew very well that it had nothing to do with her anger.

Maybe this was why she didn't question Snape when he handed her the Wolfsbane Potion later that night. She had spent the next few hours wondering what the feeling could be, only coming to the conclusion as she was dropping off to sleep. There were rare few feelings that she had never felt in her life and one of them was liking someone more than normal. To most people her age this feeling was very familiar, but to her it was something foreign. She wasn't sure what to do. She didn't get the chance to talk to Jacob, since she couldn't find him on the Hogwarts Express the next day and didn't see him on the platform either. She just decided to talk to him about it when they got back to school.

Closing her eyes as her stomach lurched painfully; Lily rolled over onto her back and listened for her mother's footsteps, which came momentarily. The door to her room opened and in walked Rachael, whose face was deadly pale.

"Come on, Lily," she said quietly.

Lily didn't want to move.

"Can't I just do it here?" she moaned, feeling a painful stab in her skull.

Rachael's eyes widened slightly when she heard this, remembering very clearly that the last time her daughter was reluctant to go into the shed resulted in something horrible. She shook the thought out of her mind and asked again.

"Please, Mum?" Lily begged. "I can't even move."

"Lily, you have to go down there," said Rachael firmly.

Lily wanted very much to shake her head, but discovered she didn't even have enough vigor for that. Rachael knew that her daughter couldn't and wouldn't go down to the shed. So she marched over to the bed, knelt down, grabbed Lily's arm and swung it over her shoulders and helped her down to the backyard. Rachael had a sinking feeling in the pit of her stomach. This wasn't good; this was exactly how her daughter acted when it all went wrong. Though Lily's resistance wasn't to the same extent as last time, she was still resisting with words, as she couldn't do it physically. All the way down the stairs Lily begged to transform in her room, saying she had the potion, she couldn't bring any harm on her mother. Rachael couldn't listen to this. If she heard anymore she would wind up doing what her daughter wanted and she could possibly be bitten.

When they made it out to the yard, Lily finally stopped begging, but went grudgingly inside the shed. The look on her daughter's face made Rachael feel horrible as she chained her up to the wall. Leaving the shed, Rachael made herself comfortable on the porch, knowing that she would have to wait the full moon out with Lily. She only hoped that what she thought was wrong.

She gazed up at the sky, waiting for the moon to fully rise, when she would hear the ghastly sounds of the transformation. However the sounds didn't come when the moon had fully risen. Curious, Rachael made her way to the shed and peered in through the window. What she saw baffled her beyond all reason, the werewolf was already there. It was as if Lily had simply, painlessly morphed into a werewolf in a split second. She couldn't understand it. Even with the Wolfsbane Potion the transformation took more than a few seconds, and Lily still would groan in pain since the potion couldn't dull it. _What's going on?_

The werewolf stood up and gained its bearings, sniffing around for human flesh that it could bite, only to find that there was none in reach. The werewolf ran wildly around the small space, desperately looking for something to eat. She soon realised that it was a useless effort. So she bit and scratched herself. Rachael cringed, waiting to hear her howls of pain. But the howls never came. Rachael couldn't figure it out, Lily would always howl in pain during her transformations. She was, yet again, biting and scratching herself when her human mind would definitely argue against it. Utterly confused, Rachael retreated to the porch; her head resting in her hands as she listened to the silence of the night and, for the first time, was disturbed by it.

Rachael woke the next morning, still sitting outside, and found Lily outside of the shed. _How did she get out?_ Rachael wondered as she approached her daughter. Lily looked up when she saw her mother and tried standing up, but her legs argued against it, so she remained slumped against the shed wall. Getting a closer look at Lily, Rachael noticed that this full moon must have been a bad one, though nothing compared to the January one. Lily's hands needed to be bandaged again and she couldn't help but notice that there were several new bites along with the original ones. All along her face were rather long scratches that were dripping blood. Her eyes were swollen (for some strange reason) and when Lily tried to say something her voice came out in a small rasp.

"How'd you get out?" Rachael asked.

"I dunno," Lily strained truthfully. She closed her eyes tight and took a deep breath. "I was just out here."

"What happened?" Rachael asked, greatly concerned.

"I don't know. My transformation took no time at all and I had my werewolf mind, but I couldn't howl or anything…"

Rachael nodded, she knew this much, apparently Lily only knew this much as well.

"Come on, let's go inside and get you cleaned up," said Rachael.

Lily tried standing up, but once again she couldn't. Rachael bent over to help her up, but Lily argued against it, saying she would rather stay outside than be locked up inside for the day. She waited patiently for her mother to return with the necessary potions and new bandages for her hands. She knew she shouldn't have taken that potion; she was just too preoccupied to even give her cautions a chance. She should have pretended to take it and suffered through a normal transformation like Remus did before the potion was invented. But, no, she didn't even bother to think about what could happen to her.

Rachael came out only moments later, her arms laden with bottles of potions and a roll of bandages perched precariously on the top. It only took a few minutes for her to down all the potions and only took her mother two minutes to rewrap Lily's hands. Rachael was inspecting the shed once she was done when she heard Lily talking to someone.

Curious, Rachael poked her head outside the door and saw a tall boy with black hair talking to Lily. It seemed, from the way they were talking, that they had met before, so she knew he was a friend from school. Coming out of the shed, Rachael cleared her throat loudly. Lily and the boy looked towards her.

"Oh," said Lily shortly. "Mum, this is Jacob Lawrence, a friend from school. Jacob, this is my mum – Rachael Lupin." The boy named Jacob smiled and shook Rachael's hand. "He was in the area," Lily explained.

"Were you?" Rachael said, letting her curiosity slip into her voice.

"Yes," said Jacob. "My dad's planning on buying some space in Hogsmeade for his business and I remembered Lily telling me that she didn't live too far from there, so I thought I'd see how she was feeling."

"Oh, well that's very nice of you. I'm going to be inside, want me to bring the dog out, Lily?"

"Yeah, thanks," answered Lily appreciatively.

The two waited for Rachael to come out of the house. When she did, she placed Nimbus on the ground and he dashed over, diving into Lily's lap. She grinned and scratched him behind the ear. "Nimbus, I'd like you to meet my friend, Jacob," she said. Nimbus barked at the boy and walked over to him, indicating that he would like to be petted. Jacob, however, stepped backwards.

"I'm allergic," he explained when Lily raised an eyebrow at him. He sneezed loudly, scaring the dog away.

"Oh, I'm sorry. Go on, Nimbus; get Mum to open the door for you."

Nimbus readily obeyed her and ran back to the house.

"When did you get him?" Jacob asked, making conversation.

"On my birthday, in January. My mum snuck him into St. Mungo's. I've always wanted a dog and he's a good one."

"Yeah, he looks like a nice dog, and a hyper one."

Lily laughed. Looking around, she remembered that she had promised herself that she would talk to Jacob about something very important when she got back to school. She didn't expect him to show up sooner, but now he was here, she had to talk to him. It was awkward though. She never pictured it being like this: right after a full moon when she couldn't even stand up to look him in the eye. She had to do it; she had to now before she chickened out.

"I've been meaning to talk to you about something," she said quietly.

"Really?" asked Jacob interestedly.

"Yeah, sit down, it might take a while."

Jacob sat down and looked at her strangely, dreading that it might be something he had done to make her angry. He doubted he did anything, but you could never tell with Lily.

She struggled with her words; she didn't know exactly how to word what she wanted to tell him. How could she make it so that it didn't so odd?

"I've been having this weird feeling lately," she said at long last.

"Have you? What is it?"

"That's the thing, I didn't know at first what it was, but now I do. I'm just not sure how to say it without it sounding strange."

"Does it, by any chance, concern me?"

"Yes, and that's _why_ it's so strange. I mean, I hardly ever talked to you before this year. Now we're getting to be pretty good friends and that's why I'm finding this so awkward."

Jacob nodded, though feeling slightly frustrated with her stalling. He had a thought as to what it might be, and, if truth be told, he was happy that she felt that way. But, if she was having such a hard time letting it come out, did she really mean it? He wanted her to mean it so much, but he had to admit he had his doubts.

"What are you trying to say exactly?" he asked.

"That's just it, I don't know _what_ to say," said Lily in a frustrated voice.

Jacob rolled his eyes and turned around, ready to leave. "Well, when you figure it out, tell me."

He began to walk away at a brisk pace when Lily yelled at him, "I think I love you!"

Jacob stopped walking and his eyes widened. He couldn't believe his ears; he was right… He turned around and saw that Lily looked absolutely mortified at what she had just said. Her face was burning red and if her eyes could have been any wider they would've been the size of a Quaffle. Kneeling down in front of her, he tried to make sense of this.

"There, I said it," Lily muttered, her face still apple red. "Now just tell me what you think and, please, make it quick."

She closed her eyes, waiting for him to tell her she was crazy so she could get her humiliation over with. She certainly did not expect what happened. Jacob put his arm around her neck and quickly kissed her. Lily was too shocked to say anything when they broke apart.

"I can do that slower if you like?" Jacob offered, grinning. Without waiting for an answer, he pulled her into a tight embrace and kissed her long and slowly. Lily could have stayed that way for eternity, but soon found herself becoming short of breath and pulled away. Lily thought her face would've been fiery red but, to her surprise, she found that it was perfectly fine. In fact, she didn't feel the least bit embarrassed about what had just happened. It seemed that Jacob wasn't either, judging by the large smile on his face, making it look as though he had wanted to do that for years.

"Yeah, slower was better," Lily joked.

"I've wanted to do that for so long," he said, almost breathlessly. "And I've wanted to hear that from you for so long and I wanted to say I love you for so long."

"You have?"

"Yes. There was always something about you that I liked. I didn't know what it was, but I didn't care. I just knew I liked you, maybe loved you. And now I know it's true."

"I hardly gave you a second thought until you came up to me in the Great Hall that day…"

"But now you do and that's all that matters." He pulled her into another brief kiss and neither of them noticed Rachael standing on the porch watching them, completely shocked. One part of her wanted to go down there and confront them, but another part of her resisted. She knew this was what her daughter wanted and needed. She had found someone who could love her and completely ignore the werewolf side of her, even if it was showing clearly on her face through the scars.

Jacob left after a while. The two had been talking about something Rachael couldn't hear. She waited until he was definitely gone before going down to her daughter, who was looking quite pleased with herself. Lily didn't notice that her mother had dropped down beside her and was watching her intently. It took her a few minutes to look and find her there, a grin playing on her lips.

"I take it you and Jacob had fun?" she said, hardly able to stop herself. Lily Evans had done the same exact thing to her when she found out about her and Sirius.

"You were watching!" Lily accused, though not sounding infuriated. She seemed t find it rather funny in fact.

Rachael nodded, not bothering to conceal her smugness.

"Oh, it was rather sweet," tormented Rachael in a false sentimental voice.

"How much did you hear?"

"Most of it. I opened the door to let Nimbus in and couldn't help but overhear you say 'I think I love you!' What happened? I thought he was just a friend."

Lily's face reddened for the first time since she had said that.

"Well, yeah he was a friend. Now he's a bit more," she answered simply. "What? Are you going to say he can't be?"

Rachael laughed slightly she shrugged her shoulders. "Depends. Was that your first kiss?"

"Well, yeah…"

"I can't say anything then. Mine was when I was fifteen, and you're eighteen." Rachael stood up and looked around; it had to be about midday now and it was getting uncomfortably hot. She didn't want Lily to stay out in the heat. "Do you think you have the feeling back in your legs?" she asked.

Lily didn't know but she didn't think she did. So, when she stood up, she wasn't surprised to find that she didn't. However, she _was_ surprised to feel the surging pains in them, going from the very tip of her biggest toe and all the way up.

"No," said Lily, falling back to the ground. She wondered what she could have done to them to make them hurt like that. When she rolled up the leg of her pants, she saw they looked completely normal; they bore no scratches or bites. The sun was shining brightly in the afternoon sky and there was no shade Rachael could possibly provide. Rachael remembered the spell that Griemer used at St. Mungo's to get Lily from the lobby to the Serious Bites Ward. Excusing herself for a mere minute so she could go and retrieve her wand, Rachael hurried off to the house.

Lily watched her go, trying to ignore the stabbing pains that plagued her legs. She decided that it was do her best to keep her mind distracted. She really couldn't believe what had just taken place; she didn't expect that kind of reaction. She did know he felt the same way about her, but she never expected him to kiss her a second after finding out. She didn't mind, it just caught her off guard. How was she going to live this down when it reached the ears of her friends? Hermione would go on saying she knew it from the beginning. She had no doubt Ron and Harry would find it absolutely hilarious. Well, they weren't ones to laugh since both of them had kissed girls long before she ever kissed a boy.

Rachael reappeared at her side only one minute later with her wand. She quickly waved it, muttering the charm and Lily was suspended in the air. Lily looked around and saw her mother grinning, probably thinking the entire thing was hysterical. She knew very well that Lily didn't like being suspended in the air, even if it was for her own good, and besides, it was embarrassing. There was no arguing against it at the moment; she didn't want to stay out in the heat. The morning weather was fine, but now the weather was becoming stifling.

Once inside the cool house, Rachael dropped her daughter down in one of the armchairs and asked if she was hungry. Lily declined the offer of any food, as she found her stomach churning unpleasantly. Sitting in the living room, attempting to stretch her legs without them shooting pains through her, she wondered if she would be fit enough to go back to school the next day. Her trunk was packed and ready to go, so all she had to do was wait the day out, hoping that her legs would feel better. That was the only thing preventing her from getting on the train; if it wasn't for that, she would be positive she was going back. _At least I don't have to go to St. Mungo's_, she thought appreciatively. She hated being stuck in the hospital, even if it was just for a few weeks. She grew to despise sitting in a bed with no means of escape. This was one of the reasons she hoped she would find the cause of her condition, so she could avoid going back there.

Rachael was bustling about in the kitchen, no doubt preparing lunch for herself, and whistling merrily. Lily had to say, Rachael had made a drastic mood swing, going from being irritable to almost cheerful. She knew her mother would never be entirely happy until she, Lily, was completely cured, but she had to admit she enjoyed seeing her mother smile. She didn't even mind the smug smile she had when she caught her and Jacob. It was a nice improvement compared to how she had been when this all started. Maybe Rachael was growing to accept what might happen and was trying to make the best of things like Lily was trying to do. Lily liked that, she liked it a lot; it was better than the both of them moping in self pity until the end.

"Mum, am I going back to school tomorrow?" Lily called into the next room.

"I don't know," Rachael answered truthfully. "It depends on if you're feeling better."

"I feel fine."

"You know what I mean."

Lily knew she shouldn't have even bothered asking, as she knew very well that would be her mother's response. Stretching her arms out behind her, she shut her eyes and hoped that when she woke up she would be okay to go to school.

* * *

Indeed when she woke up later that day she found that she was able to walk around and that her legs hardly hurt. Because of this, she found herself sitting on the Hogwarts Express waiting for the train to make its way back to the castle. She was alone in her compartment, as Harry, Ron and Hermione had spent the holiday at the castle, while she was forced to return home. She at least hoped she would run into Luna or Neville, but it seemed that the both of the remained at the castle as well. She didn't remain alone for too long. The compartment door slid open just as the train was leaving the platform and she saw Jacob standing in the doorway.

"Do you mind?" he asked, looking pointedly at the seat beside her, which was now playing host to her trunk.

"Sit," she said, removing her trunk and placing it on the seat in front of her.

He took the seat and looked around, twiddling his thumbs awkwardly.

"How was your Easter?" he asked conversationally. They had never talked about the holidays the day before, so he was curious.

"Alright, I can never get too many giant chocolate eggs. How was yours?"

"Good. I can never get enough of listening to my dad's shop talk," he added sarcastically.

"Did he get the space in Hogsmeade?"

"Yeah he did. When I got back there yesterday he was all happy and took us out to celebrate. It was fun… until he started prying." Lily didn't even need to ask what his dad had started prying about. "Yeah, he wanted to know where I went," he elaborated. "So I told him I went to visit a friend who lived real close to Hogsmeade. You'd think my mum would step in for me, but she used that annoying voice parents use when they think they know something – 'and who _is_ this friend?'"

"And what'd you tell them?"

"I didn't tell them anything, which was really stupid seeing as how they figured it out just by my not saying anything. My mum had to shriek out for the whole place to hear 'my little boy has a girlfriend!' And, if she could have, I bet she would've burst out crying."

"Bad tears or good?"

"Good, good ones, yeah. She's been telling me I'm too old to still be single."

Lily laughed at that, as Mrs. Jameson used to tell her thing same thing. The moment she turned sixteen that was all she heard.

"Then it got bad," Jacob said, resentment evident in his voice. "So, my mum asked what your name is and I just casually said 'Lily Black' and my mum said 'oh what a pretty name.' My dad, on the other hand…"

Lily cast her eyes down to the floor; she knew exactly what Mr. Lawrence would think when he heard that name.

"So, what'd he say?" she asked unnecessarily.

"He said that he doesn't want me to have anything to do with someone who has the surname Black. Even when I said you had grown up with a different surname and with a different family and that your father was innocent and that you're the sweetest girl I know, he still didn't budge."

"Well, then what do we do? He's not going to budge like you said… and I don't want your dad to be mad with you just because of me."

She knew she didn't have to ask what to do; the answer was obvious in her eyes. She would just have to forget that anything had happened and that she had never even met Jacob. She didn't want him to have a fight with his father, seeing as how she knew that it wasn't fun to be in an arguement with a parent.

She hated this. All because of her name she couldn't have what she wanted and neither could someone she cared about. She knew Jacob's father was being unreasonable and he had no right to judge her, but she didn't want him to be mad with his son. She cared about him too much to allow that to happen. If doing this was going to ruin their father-son relationship, she didn't want that to happen. It hurt for her to say it, but she had to.

"I don't care what he says," stated Jacob defiantly. "He doesn't know you; he can't judge you by your surname. And if he doesn't like that, then too bad for him."

Lily shook her head; she didn't want him to fight with his parents because of her. As much as she hated herself for saying what she was about to say, she had to for his well being.

"Do what your dad says," she muttered her voice breaking as she did so.

"W-what?" stuttered Jacob disbelievingly.

"Please, just listen to him. I-I don't want you two to be mad at each other on account of me."

"No, you don't mean it, you can't." Jacob knew she didn't mean it. Just by looking into her eyes he could see the regret she was feeling. She only wanted to do what would benefit him, and that meant giving up something he knew she wanted.

"I don't want to mean it," she admitted, struggling to remain calm. "And maybe… maybe if your dad comes around we can… we can pick up where we left off." Taking a trembling breath she looked away from him, not wanting him to see what this was doing to her.

He wasn't going to be embarrassed by seeing her like this; he turned her around and looked her straight in the eye.

"You don't have to do this," he said imploringly. "I don't care if my dad and I fight."

"But _I_ care if you do, especially if it's all because of my surname. I care about you too much to do that to your family. And if I have to give up what I want… then I will."

"Lily…"

"Just listen to me, please. And, like I said, if he comes around… we'll start over."

Jacob opened his mouth to say something, but Lily shook her head, she was going to stand her ground on this. Jacob sighed hopelessly. He knew she was set on this and he wanted to respect her wishes, even if it meant giving her up to please his father. He pulled her into a hug and kissed her gently one last time before breaking apart.

"I still love you," said Lily quietly.

"I know you do." He stood up and made his way to the door, grabbing his trunk on the way. "Bye, Lily." With that, he was gone.

Lily stared at the door, though not seeing it. She couldn't grasp what had just happened. She had told him to forget he ever met her so he could respect his father. Yet she had just given up the best thing that had happened to her in a long time. She loved him and that was why she did this, she wanted what was best for him. What about her, though? What about what was best for her? It took her every nerve she had to do what she did and it was slowly eating away at her.

She felt a warm tear slide down her cheek, but she didn't bother to wipe it away. She hated herself for doing what she did. The look in Jacob's eyes when he heard it… she didn't think she would ever erase that from her memory. He looked slightly betrayed, but understanding, though he couldn't keep the sadness out of his voice. What if his father never came around? Then they would go on pretending they had never known each other forever. She didn't think she could do that. She would have to think of something to do that would make Mr. Lawrence see reason. There just had to be something.

Whatever she could do, she didn't know what it was at the moment and she didn't want to think of it either. Pulling her knees up against her chest, she buried her face in them and spent the remainder of the ride sobbing and thinking of what she had given up.

The train screeched to a halt in Hogsmeade station and Lily joined the crowd of students making their way to the carriages. Lily was thankful for the fact that she was able to scrounge up an empty one, she didn't feel like sharing one with anyone. She took the offer up and sat alone in the empty carriage, trying to shut her eyes and block the night out.

The carriage ride seemed to take no time at all. Before she knew it, she was standing in front of the castle. Making her way up the steps, she heard the last voice she wanted to hear, especially when she heard what he had to say.

"Aw, what's wrong, Black?" said Draco Malfoy, sounding as though he knew perfectly well what was bothering her.

"None of your business, Malfoy," she retorted coldly.

"Was your boyfriend that bad of a kisser that he made you cry?" he continued, acting as though he hadn't heard her.

"You little spy!" she snapped. "Do you have nothing better to do than spy on my personal life?"

"As of right now, your personal life is of my greatest interest. My father is very concerned in seeing if the Black Family can live on."

"Shove off, Malfoy." This time it wasn't Lily who spoke. Malfoy spun around to see Jacob approaching him, a look of fury in his eyes. "Why don't you just leave her alone? Is your life so pathetic you have to bother someone who doesn't even start with you?"

"I don't know, Lawrence. It's just fun to bother filth like this," Malfoy snarled.

That was the limit for Jacob. He raised his fist and was about to bring it down into Malfoy's face but Lily, who had predicted this, grabbed his arm and held it back. Jacob tried shaking his arm free, but Lily wouldn't let him punch Malfoy just because of her. Malfoy watched this spectacle before him and burst out laughing, which seemed to only infuriate Jacob more. Lily, sensing something bad was going to happen, pulled him away.

She was surprised by Jacob's reaction to say the least; she hadn't even expected him to do anything. She could also see that Jacob was shocked with himself as well.

"Thanks," she said meekly.

"You're welcome," he said in a somewhat bitter voice. "I guess I'll be going then."

Before Lily could even say anything else, he raced up the stairs in the direction of the Ravenclaw common room. Lily knew dinner was going on in the Great Hall and, even though she wasn't hungry, she wanted to see some friendly faces. Entering the Great Hall she saw Harry, Ron and Hermione sitting at the head of the Gryffindor table. Hermione was holding up a copy of the _Daily Prophet_ and was flipping through the pages while Harry and Ron were looking over her shoulder. She took her seat in front of Harry and read the headline on the front page; it was something about new Ministry tactics that were going to be taken in the battle against Voldemort.

Hermione ruffled the pages, not looking up until she noticed Lily sitting in there. She smiled and set the paper down, folding it carefully as she did so.

"Lily," she said brightly. "How was your Easter?"

"Fine," Lily replied, doing her best to make her voice sound pleasurable.

"Did you and your mother make up?" she asked casually, as though she was merely questioning the weather conditions.

"Yeah, we did. She's not mad at me anymore."

Hermione nodded happily and picked up the paper again. Only a few minutes later she set the paper down again and announced she was heading back up to the common room. Harry and Ron decided to go with her, only after inviting Lily to join them in a game of Exploding Snap. She declined the offer; she was not much of an Exploding Snap player and she was extremely tired. She followed them up to Gryffindor Tower and entered a rather loud common room ("Gobstones"). Looking around for the source of the excitement, they noticed on the notice board that Professor Dumbledore was, once again, starting a Dueling Club in the Great Hall on Mondays. The first meeting was scheduled for the next evening at seven. The students had to admit that they were a little wary about this club, as the first time they had a dueling club (in second year) it had not come off very well.

They decided to check it out anyway. So at seven o' clock sharp Monday evening they found themselves standing in a familiar setting. The four House tables that usually crowded the hall were pushed back against the walls. In the centre of the room was one long table, on which Professor Snape stood. The Slytherins were greatly amused by this, but the Gryffindors, Hufflepuffs and Ravenclaws knew they would have to be cautious if this man was going to teach them to duel. He was surveying the hall with a satisfied smirk on his face. Once the clock struck seven he called for silence with the simple wave of a hand. Instantly the hall fell quiet and the students listened aptly to their professor when he began to speak.

"As you all are aware of, Professor Dumbledore has decided to restart the Dueling Club we had attempted five years ago. Luckily, we now have a more… _competent_ Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher who will help us with the procedures. Professor Westley," he called over his shoulder. Professor Westley, a middle aged man with pitch black hair, came up behind him and surveyed the students. "We will be teaching you the basics of dueling, using some defensive spells such as the Disarming Charm." He and Westley turned to face each other. "We are now in the appropriate dueling position. We will start with the Disarming Charm. Now, we will bow and hold our wands at the ready."

Professor Snape and Professor Westley bowed low, though Westley's eyes never moved from the Potions Master, which the students thought was a smart idea. Once they were both straight, they held their wands before each other and before Westley could even open his mouth, Snape shouted,

"_Expeliarmus!_" and Westley's wand flew out of his arm and landed in the crowd of students.

"As you can see," Snape sneered, clearly enjoying this, "your professor has been disarmed."

"Yes, I believe they noticed, Severus," said Professor Westley in what he hoped to be a kind voice. "Now that we have disarming down, maybe we should allow the students to practise amongst themselves? Please divide yourselves into pairs and work on this spell for ten minutes. Then we will move onto our next spell."

Chatter broke out amongst the students as they ran to partner with someone before Snape took the liberty of doing so for them. Lily paired with Hermione, who proved to be quite a challenge to disarm. The fact that Lily was feeling ill didn't help matters. After finally managing to disarm Hermione she found herself glad that the professors were calling for their attention once more. The students gathered around the table and just as Professor Westley was about to teach them another charm, Professor Snape interrupted him.

"I think now is the perfect time for two students to demonstrate this charm for all of us," he announced, his sneer going past a few select students, Lily being one of them.

"A good suggestion, Severus," said Westley warily. "However, I recall being told by the Headmaster that the last time two students dueled each other, neither came off for the better."

Several of the students nodded heartily at this statement, but Professor Snape chose to ignore them.

"Then we will not use the same pair," he said, making it seem as though this was the perfect solution to the problem.

Westley opened his mouth to argue but Snape shoved past him and began fishing through the many students. Almost instantly, he picked Pansy Parkinson from a group of giggling Slytherin girls and she dashed up to the table. He took a little longer deciding on the second student, though everyone knew that it was going to be a girl. As Ron conveniently mentioned to Harry as Snape was approaching, not even Professor Snape would make a boy and girl duel. Ron turned out to be right because at that very moment Snape grabbed the scruff of Lily's collar and pulled her up onto the table against her will.

Professor Westley, who had been watching Snape look over the students, did not seem pleased at the pair Snape had chosen. He went over to the professor and whispered something in his ear, which made Snape sneer.

Professor Westley raised an eyebrow in Lily's direction.

"Snape," he said in an undertone. "I really don't think you should allow her to-"

"Oh, Westley," said Snape in a voice loud enough for all to hear. "Are you implying that you don't believe Miss Black is able to duel?"

The Slytherins howled with laughter as Professor Westley's face turned a faint shade of red.

"No," he retorted. "I know that Lily is quite capable of dueling, I've seen her duel before. I just don't think she should right _now_, considering the circumstances."

Lily, who had been listening to this conversation, stepped forward and vouched for herself.

"I can duel," she said, though disagreeing with what she had just said. She couldn't even disarm Hermione after fifteen tries. What made her think she could disarm Pansy Parkinson, a Slytherin who would stoop to the lowest to humiliate or harm someone. Professor Westley looked doubtful about this, but Professor Snape simply clapped his hands together and told them to begin. The two professors stepped backwards and watched as the two girls bowed quickly, holding their wands at the ready. The two were silent for a moment, each waiting for the other to make the first move. So when Lily saw Pansy open her mouth, she yelled out,

"_Expeliarmus!_"

Pansy's wand flew out of her hand and narrowly missed hitting Snape in the face. The hall burst out laughing when they saw this, but stopped when they saw Snape seething with anger. Pansy also didn't seem to find this funny because she took this opportunity to send off the Leg Lock Charm. Caught off guard, Lily's legs locked and she fell to the floor, landing hard on her face. She felt her nose crack painfully and tried with all her might to stand up, but it was useless. Again the Slytherins howled with laughter as Harry, Ron and Hermione hurried over to their friend's aid. Hermione helped Lily roll herself over and cringed when she saw blood flowing freely out of Lily's nostrils.

Professor Westley hurried over and lifted the Leg Lock Curse and with a quick wave of his wand, Lily's nose was healed. Pocketing his wand, he marched over to Pansy Parkinson and proceeded to give her the longest lecture known to man. It ended with her doing lines for a month. Pansy broke through the crowd, looking utterly miserable, but no one pitied her. What she did was uncalled for.

"Okay, I think that's enough for tonight," said Professor Westley, dispatching the students. "Same time next week. Good night."

The students all exited the hall, talking loudly about what had just taken place.

"That Parkinson had _no_ right," said Ernie Macmillan pompously.

Lily, Harry, Ron and Hermione liked Ernie, but they found at times he could be a little overconfident and pompous. This time he was right in it.

"No she didn't," Lily muttered. She grabbed a tissue out of her pocket and attempted wiping off the large amount of blood on her nose. "Then again, Snape should've listened to Westley."

"Well, you said you could duel," said Hermione reasonably.

"I know, but they should know better than to listen to me."

Hermione couldn't argue with that, as the staff knew they shouldn't listen to Lily. Lily still shouldn't have said she could duel when she knew she couldn't. They lost Ernie as he turned towards the basement to go to the Hufflepuff common room, while they continued to Gryffindor Tower. Once inside the common room, Lily made a beeline to the dormitory, hoping to wash off the remainder of the blood on her face. After ten minutes of scrubbing her face, it was clean and she went to change for bed.

Lying in her bed, she stared out the window directly across from her bed. Did no one think her capable of doing anything? Professor Westley thought she couldn't duel, when she proved that she could successfully disarm her opponent. Hermione didn't think she could duel, and neither did Harry and Ron, even she didn't think she could do it and yet she insisted that she be allowed to. Would anyone think her capable of doing what she used to? Maybe they would when she got better, _if_ she got better that is. She could deal with having a sickness her whole life, but she would be able to deal with it better if she was allowed to do the things she did before she got sick. Was that too much to ask? She didn't think it was.

With that thought in her mind she fell into a fitful sleep.


	10. Life Is A Precious Thing

Chapter Ten

Chapter Ten  
Life Is a Precious Thing

The next few weeks of school were rather uneventful. Professors Snape and Westley continued the Dueling Clubs every Monday, as they promised, but Professor Snape was no longer in charge of the meetings. Professor Westley brought the events of the first meeting to the Headmaster, who wasn't pleased at all. He would not take the meetings away from Snape, but he demoted him to assistant and promoted Westley head of the meetings. Harry, Ron and Hermione continued going to the meetings, but Lily stopped going after the second, realising that she really wasn't in any condition to practise dueling.

It was starting again. She would feel fine for a few days, and then the illness that had been plaguing her would come back full force. It had definitely come back full force this time, making her incapable of doing much else besides going to class and even then the teachers didn't think she should be there. She spent one night in the Hospital Wing, under the watchful eye of Madam Pomfrey. The night she spent there wasn't a pleasant night, as she had been forced to drink three terrible tasting potions. The potions only kept her up the entire night, for some peculiar reason. She spent the night staring blankly at the ceiling, stirring only when she heard the sounds of the nurse coming into the room to check on her. When this happened she would quickly shut her eyes and pretend that she had been sleeping.

She was let out the next morning, but thought she would have been better off staying an extra night, as she still didn't feel well. But she made the best of things and went through her classes as normal as possible. Though she did do considerably bad in Potions, which was usually one of her better subjects, and she lost ten points from Gryffindor. No one blamed her though; they knew Snape was milking the situation for all it was worth. She improved in all of her other classes and earned fifteen points for Gryffindor in Herbology, making up for the ten she lost.

In Transfiguration, she found that all of her energy was spent and she had a horrific time trying to transfigure the desk into a dog. At first nothing happened, then her wand began to shot out brown sparks, and finally the desk toppled over onto another student's foot. The student was sent to the Hospital Wing and Lily lost five points for Gryffindor for not paying attention to what she was doing. Lily grimaced at her professor and took a seat after realising she wasn't going to transfigure the desk if her life depended on it. Planting her face in her arms, she tried to block out the sounds of the class around her.

Jacob, who was a few tables away, was having more difficulties than anyone, even Lily. He wanted to ask her for help, since she was the only one who would be able to do this on a regular basis, but knew he couldn't for two reasons. One reason was that _she_ couldn't even do it and the other reason was because he wasn't supposed to talk to her. At first he didn't know if he could do it, he had wanted to talk to her many times but restrained himself from doing so. At the Dueling Club, when Pansy attacked her off guard, he had to do everything to keep himself from jumping up there and hexing her into oblivion. However, as time wore on, he found that he was able to keep his distance from her and now was the first time he had been tempted to talk to her. Sighing in defeat, he yet again tried to transfigure the desk.

The bell rang, signaling the end of classes for the day, and the majority of the class ran out of the room. Lily was about to leave with her friends, when Professor McGonagall called her over. She stood at the desk, waiting for her teacher to speak with her.

"Sit, Miss Black," Professor McGonagall said at long last. Lily gratefully took the seat, as she found that she was becoming tired just standing upright. Professor McGonagall took the seat across from her and waited for a moment, mulling over what she wanted to say to her pupil.

"I've been observing you over the past few weeks," she finally said, watching Lily carefully through her spectacles. "Your grades have been dropping, you know."

"I know," Lily muttered. She was fully aware of the fact that her once remarkable grades were falling. She needed her grades to remain at the level they had been if she was to succeed in taking her N.E.W.T. Examinations.

"I've been discussing this with the Headmaster and he thinks that, if the need arises, you can postpone taking your examinations. He doesn't think there is a need to penalize you for something you have no control over. You have already proved that you want to do well just by showing up for class when you know you should be in the Hospital Wing."

Lily could hardly believe her ears; she had been expecting the professor to tell her that she would have to take seventh year over or something to that effect. She definitely did _not_ expect to have her examinations postponed. She made a mental note to thank the Headmaster next time she saw him.

"Wow, thank you," Lily stuttered.

"You're very welcome. Mind you, you will have to study hard as your grades now are -"

"Bad."

"Well, it is not your fault that you are unable to concentrate. I think that's all for now."

"Okay… thank you, Professor."

Lily exited the room feeling a little disconcerted. She knew she had bad grades, but she also knew that if this had been at any other time the professors would not have allowed this. They pitied her and that was the only reason her exams would be postponed. She didn't like this sort of pity; she would rather just sit the exams and, if she failed, she would be able to take them over. She couldn't deny that she appreciated this, but it made her feel worse knowing that her illness was the only thing keeping her from sitting the exams like the rest of the students.

Lily looked at her watch; it was exactly one week until the next full moon, meaning she would have to take the Wolfsbane Potion soon. The thought reminded her that she had to go down to the dungeons and get it from Snape, or at least check to see when it would be ready. So, instead of heading down to the Great Hall like she intended to, she went down to the Potions classroom. Entering the classroom unnoticed, she heard Snape muttering to himself. Curious as to what he was saying, she moved further into the room, still unnoticed. He was currently adding the finishing touches to the Wolfsbane Potion, but he added something that didn't belong. She didn't know what it was, but she had never seen it put into this potion before. That was when it all began to add up… she had been right all along.

"You've been tampering with the potion!" she shouted out, not bothering to restrain herself.

Professor Snape looked up from the goblet he had finished filling and smiled serenely, as though he wasn't the least bit deterred by her accusation.

"I don't understand you, Black," he said in an innocent voice. "This just helps to make the potion more effective. Do you honestly think I would tamper with a student's well being?"

"Yes, I would. After all, I'm Sirius's daughter and you hated him just as much as James."

Snape laughed and shook his head. "The minds of adolescents are quite amusing in general, but I find yours to be extremely entertaining."

"I'll tell Dumbledore," Lily threatened, choosing to ignore Snape's comment. "Really, I will."

She edged towards the door, but, being that she was too far into the classroom, Snape was able to stop her.

"Not so fast there, Black," he hissed. "You've forgotten to take your potion."

"There's no way I'm drinking that, you can't-"

Before she could even finish her sentence, Snape had poured the contents into her mouth. She spat most of it out, but the amount that she had swallowed would do enough damage; she didn't need to wait to find that out. She looked at the professor in disbelief; he had actually been poisoning her. She was right all along and yet no one would believe her. She had half a mind to run to Dumbledore at that very moment, but Snape stopped her, clearly sensing what she was thinking.

"The Headmaster would never believe you; he trusts me far too much to listen to a student like you," he snarled. "And if you _do_ tell him, well… I have an entire cauldron full of this potion, just in case you want more."

Lily didn't say anything to this; she merely left the room, her head spinning like mad. She caught her friends exiting the Great Hall and hurried to catch up with them so she could fill them in on what had just taken place. The three of them had no trouble at all believing what she told them, even Hermione who regarded teachers as gods. She had been suspicious of Snape from the very beginning. They wanted to go see the Headmaster about this, but Lily was afraid to. Snape had been very serious about his threat, and drinking an entire cauldron of this potion was enough to kill her.

It had been Snape all along. What would her dad have done if he found this out? He would have killed Snape. He wouldn't have even used his wand to kill him because it would have been quick and painless; he would want it to be long and excruciating. He would use his bare hands and not care if he got sent back to Azkaban for it, at least Snape would be dead. Lily also had mind to believe that her uncle would overact as well, though he might not want to murder the man. But her mother… what would she do? She had been saying it was Snape, ever since Lily had the seizure. Rachael would strangle him if she found out. She had been close to wringing his neck when she first accused him; she would only succeed in it if she found out her accusations were correct.

If Snape warned her against telling the Headmaster, surely she couldn't tell her mother, who would run to Professor Dumbledore upon hearing this. What did it matter, anyway? She was just going to die anyway; she might as well make it quick, shouldn't she?

* * *

Lily roamed the streets of Hogsmeade, glancing at all of the stores in hopes of finding the one she was looking for. She had spent the entire day figuring out how to make Mr. Lawrence see reason, a goal that she had long neglected. She had learnt from Terry Boot the name of the shop that Jacob's father owned - Magical Stationary, an ordinary title, but straightforward. She had it all figured out, she would go in there pretending to look for a journal, which she had no problem doing, as she had always wanted one. She would then casually bring the subject up of Jacob when she ran into Mr. Lawrence. She found the shop, at long last, and cautiously entered, browsing for a journal.

She spotted a blue leather-bound book on one of the shelves and took it off, scanning through the blank pages. She decided that this was the one she wanted and picked a new quill out along with it. She turned to see the cashier at the back of the shop and immediately knew this was Jacob's father, as they bore a striking resemblance to each other. She went up to the register and placed the book and the quill on the counter, feeling incredibly uncomfortable as she did so.

"Good afternoon," Mr. Lawrence said cheerfully.

"Good afternoon," she replied in her most pleasant voice.

"A journal, aye?" he said slowly, picking it up and turning it in his hand as though he was searching for something wrong with it. "I can personalize this, if you like," he offered.

"Oh yes… that'd be great."

He smiled and gave his wand a difficult wave, uttering the spell word as he did so.

"Name?" he asked.

Lily smiled inwardly; this might be easier than she thought.

"Lily Black," she said quickly.

Mr. Lawrence nodded and did not seem fazed by her name at all. She watched as her name appeared on the cover of the book in swirling green letters and above her name appeared the phrase: _This is the property of Lily Black_. As a matter of fact, it was only after she paid and was about to leave, that he connected the dots.

"Lily Black?" he repeated, comprehension dawning on his face. "You're that girl my son likes."

"Jacob?" Lily asked uneasily, hastily picking the journal and the quill up so she could hurry out if the need arose.

"Yes. Would you mind telling me how much communication you've been having with him? Because I specifically warned him-"

"None!" Lily interrupted swiftly. "I haven't talked to him in ages."

"Good. I see he took my advice and broke it off with you before he got himself in trouble."

Lily had half a mind to tell this man off, but she knew that this wasn't the best idea if she wanted to get permission to see Jacob again.

"Actually, I was the-" she began, but shook her head, seeing this as a lost cause. "Yeah… yeah, _he_ broke things off with me. Thank you for personalizing this for me. Bye."

She dashed out of the store and ran all the way back home; night was falling and the moon was rising. She hurried up the walkway and saw her mother waiting on the front porch.

"How'd it go?" she asked.

"It went… He thinks it was Jacob who decided to end things," Lily answered miserably. "I'm gonna go in the shed now."

She walked dejectedly over to the shed and didn't even ask Rachael to chain her up. She did it herself and sat patiently waiting for the full moon to rise and for the pain to come. This, however, confused Rachael. Lily had never done that herself; she would usually put up a small resistance or none at all. This was even worse than hearing her argue against it. She shrugged the thought off and went inside, knowing that Lily didn't want her to stay outside all night like she usually did.

The next morning, when Rachael went to the shed, she felt the familiar sensation she felt in January. Only this time it was much worse. Lily's face was completely devoid of blood, but her entire middle was soaked in it. Rachael pulled Lily's cloak off and saw her shirt was torn in various places. She found that there were lethal looking wounds where the tears were. Rachael grabbed Lily's wrist and felt for a pulse; there was a very faint one that was getting fainter as every second passed. Rachael knew she needed to perform CPR, but she didn't know how. Lily was going to die!

"Help!" she yelled to the sky. "Somebody help!"

Either by chance or for a reason, Mr. Lawrence was walking up the path and noticed the desperate mother. He hurried over and knelt down beside her.

"What happened?" he asked anxiously.

"Werewolf transformation… needs CPR… I don't know how…" Rachael stammered, looking helplessly at Lily.

"I know how. My wife's a Muggle and taught me." He immediately began to administer CPR and, after a few tries, Lily sputtered out a few coughs, but remained unconscious.

"I need to take her to St. Mungo's," Rachael said to herself, grabbing Lily's wrist and concentrating on her destination. She felt the uncomfortable sensation of Apparating and found herself in the waiting room of St. Mungo's Wizard Hospital with Mr. Lawrence beside her. Rachael didn't even bother to ask why he was there; she ran over to the receptionist and asked for Mr. Griemer. Almost instantly, Griemer dashed into the room and took Lily to the nearest hospital room. Rachael wasn't allowed to go in, but, just by standing outside, she knew it was bad. Lily had woken up and was yelling in pain. Rachael cringed listening to this; she wanted nothing more than to run in there and help her daughter, but she couldn't.

Mr. Griemer came into the hallway and turned to Rachael.

"Maybe you should leave for a few minutes," he suggested. "She knows you're out here and that's only making things worse."

"O-okay… I'll go owl my mother, I guess," said Rachael dejectedly. She turned and walked down the hallway, looking back numerous times only to see that Griemer had reentered the room and was doing all he could for Lily. When Rachael returned she could still hear Lily's cries of pain, and she saw that Mr. Lawrence was still there. Rachael didn't know why this man bothered staying, so she decided to make him introduce himself.

"I'm sorry, I never caught your name," she said, doing her best to block Lily out for the moment.

"Oh err… Mr. Lawrence," he replied uneasily, as he knew very well the name of the woman he was talking to. He had not walked down that path by accident; he was going to apologise to Lily for his rudeness in the stationery shop. Rachael reached out to shake his hand, but stopped when she remembered the name.

"Lawrence?" she repeated slowly. "Jacob's father?" He nodded. "You're the father of the boy my daughter fancies."

"Yes, I am," he said nervously. "But she said Jacob broke it off with them."

Rachael blinked in a confused manner; that wasn't what Lily told her. She couldn't have been lying; Rachael knew she was telling the truth by the tone in her voice.

"That wasn't what she told me," she argued. "She told me that _she_ broke it off with _him_ because she didn't want you two to get into an argument. And don't even accuse her of lying, because, even though I haven't known her long, I know when my daughter lies."

Before Mr. Lawrence could reply, Mr. Griemer came out into the hallway and told Rachael she was allowed to see her daughter. Rachael entered the room cautiously; afraid of what she might see. What she did was Lily lying in bed with her eyes half open and an exhausted look on her face. She took the seat beside the bed and looked down at her daughter.

"Mum," Lily whispered, sounding as though each word she spoke was costing her a terrible price. Rachael leaned forward to indicate that she was listening. "It was Snape… I caught him tampering with the potion."

"Why didn't you tell anyone?" Rachael asked loudly, causing Lily to flinch. She didn't mean to yell, but the fact that her daughter knew who was behind this and didn't say anything made her mad. She could have prevented this if Lily had just come forward.

"I was scared. He threatened to give me the entire cauldron full if I told."

"But why did you drink it in the first place?"

"Because he shoved it down my throat. I spit most out, but ended up swallowing some." Lily closed her eyes and cried in pain.

"Lily…"

"Mum… please… tell Dumbledore… tell him Snape did it." Lily rolled onto her side and shut her eyes, looking as though that would lessen the pain that was coursing through her.

Rachael backed away from the bed and hurried to the hallway to find her mother waiting for her.

"Rachael how is she?" she asked urgently.

"I don't know… but she knows what's wrong with her," Rachael answered hastily, not wanting to waste any time. "I have to owl Dumbledore, excuse me."

With that, Rachael ran, with all her might, down the hospital corridor. Mrs. Lupin looked into the room and watched her granddaughter intently. She didn't want anything bad to happen to this girl. She hardly even knew her; she didn't even know she existed until the previous year. She couldn't die now and not just because of that… because Lily was too young. She had barely seen anything of what the Wizarding World had to offer.

Lily cried out in pain once again and Mr. Griemer hurried into the room to tend to her. Mrs. Lupin turned away from the door, but what she heard was worse than what she could see. The things Lily was crying out when she was able to… she said she wanted to die. She was saying that death would be better than the pain she was in. Mr. Griemer was doing his best to keep her calm, but it didn't seem good enough as she only cried louder. _Where is Rachael?_ Mrs. Lupin thought furiously, looking around the hallway in hopes that her daughter would pop up. The man who had been there before, Mr. Lawrence she believed his name was, had left with the excuse that he had something very important to discuss with his son. He hadn't left in time to not hear Lily begging for death, and that looked like it shook him quite a bit.

Just as Mr. Griemer was coming out of the ward, looking very grim indeed, Rachael was hurrying along the corridor. She stopped just short of knocking her mother over. Muttering a quick apology, the two turned to the Healer.

"We've managed to calm her down," he said, though his tone did not make them feel relieved. "But… we don't think she'll make it through the night. What little of the potion she actually drank seemed to be enough to cause fatal internal problems. It's as though she's having a heart attack or something of the sort." He took a deep breath and glanced back into the room. "I'm very sorry… really, I am." He took off down the hallway, only after informing them that he would be back in ten minutes' time.

Rachael poked her head inside the room and saw Lily lying flat on her back, her eyes squinted in pain. She gestured for her mother to follow her and Rachael conjured up a chair for her, while she took that one that was originally there.

"What were you sending Dumbledore a letter about?" Mrs. Lupin inquired.

"Lily said Snape did it," Rachael answered, watching her daughter anxiously. "I just hope Dumbledore knows an antidote… or he can get one out of Snape."

"A professor at her school did this?" asked Mrs. Lupin disbelievingly. "Why?"

"Probably because of whom Lily's father is. Snape and Sirius hated each other, and Snape is just low enough to mess with her potion. After all, he tried following Remus to the Whomping Willow in our sixth year; I wouldn't put this past him."

Mrs. Lupin leaned back in her chair and processed what her daughter had just told her. This man, Snape his name was, actually tampered with a student's Wolfsbane Potion? He actually had the nerve to do it under the eye of Albus Dumbledore. This was unheard of to her; she always knew Dumbledore trusted Snape, but even Professor Dumbledore could be too trusting. She glanced over at Rachael, who was pushing some stray hairs off Lily's sweaty forehead. She knew what this was doing to Rachael. Her daughter didn't deserve this; she had already lost so many people in her lifetime. She didn't need to lose her daughter after only getting her back. She was abandoned at eight by her own mother (who turned red upon thinking of this). Her father died when she was fifteen, then Lily and James were murdered. She thought her husband had betrayed them, when it actually was Peter Pettigrew. Then Sirius died two years ago, and Remus the year before. Lily was the only thing she had left in her life.

True she had her mother, but Mrs. Lupin wasn't there when a mother was supposed to be. She hadn't attended Gregory Lupin's funeral. She didn't go to Rachael's wedding; she wasn't present at the birth of her granddaughter. She had missed out on every important event of her daughter's life and the worst part was that it was her own doing. Looking down at Lily, it looked as if she had died right then and there without them knowing it. When Lily snored lightly, Mrs. Lupin was reassured that she was alive, for the time being.

She didn't know how long they sat there, waiting for Lily to either wake up or take her last breath. Checking her watch, she saw it was nearing seven in the evening. Mr. Griemer had reappeared in ten minutes, like he promised, and continued to check on Lily, commenting on her condition every so often, saying how there really was not much else they could do. They were just going to have to wait the rest of the night out and see what would happen in the morning. Mr. Griemer, who had come into the room at seven, spent a good fifteen minutes looking Lily over, checking her pulse and everything else, just to make sure she was still with them. He left the room once he was done, knowing he had to give Rachael and Mrs. Lupin time with her.

Soon a small, strained, pain filled voice, caught their attention. They turned to see Lily's eyes were half open and she looked as though she was about to drop off, maybe for good this time.

"Did you owl Dumbledore?" she asked, a hint of hopefulness evident in her voice.

"I did," Rachael answered quietly. "He's going to try and find an antidote for this."

Lily nodded slowly, and noticed Mrs. Lupin sitting beside Rachael.

"Hi, Grandma," she said, hoping her voice sounded cheerful.

"Hullo, Lily," Mrs. Lupin replied, trying to keep her voice light.

"Mum… I heard what Griemer told you… that I won't make it through the night… I think he's right."

"No… Lily, don't talk like that," begged Rachael.

"I'm not just talking like this… I don't know how much longer I'm going to last. It's getting harder and harder just to talk to you."

"Lily, you're going to make it, just believe that you will."

"Believing's not going to help… the pain's just too much. It feels like its going to be at any time… maybe even right-" But Lily never got to finish her sentence. Her voice withered away, her eyes began to droop and her head lolled to the side.

Rachael's eyes widened… it could not be. Lily had just been talking to them! And now… now… she did not want to believe it. She was just _talking_ to them!

"Lily," she breathed, grabbing Lily's hand and shaking it furiously. "Wake up!" she cried, shaking her hand even harder in hopes that it would wake her up. "Please!"

"Rachael…" said Mrs. Lupin softly, though not keeping the sadness out of her voice as she gazed upon Lily's limp body.

"No… Lily, wake up! Wake up!"

"She can't hear you, Rachael."

"She has to hear me! She can't die… she can't!"

"Rachael… I think it's too late."

"No! It's not too late! It's not too late."

Even as she sobbed and wrung Lily's hands, she knew it was too late. Lily had passed beyond their reach. Rachael sunk back in her chair and buried her face in her hands, while Mrs. Lupin put a comforting arm around her shoulders.

There were voices coming from outside of the room, and Rachael recognised both of them – Mr. Griemer and Professor Dumbledore. Dumbledore probably had the antidote he had promised, but it was too late. The door to the ward opened and Professor Dumbledore strode forward, uncorking the bottle he was holding. He knelt forward and tilted Lily's head back so her mouth would open. He poured the liquid into her mouth, ignoring the fact that Rachael was telling him that he had come too late. Once the bottle was empty, he stepped backwards and waited.

To the surprise of everyone, except Dumbledore that is, Lily's mouth shut on its own accord and swallowed the potion. Lily began choking on it, so Dumbledore helped her sit up.

"Professor," said Rachael slowly, a look of amazement in her eyes. "How… how is this-?"

"It takes a while for the body to fully shut down," Professor Dumbledore explained, stepping backwards and pocketing the bottle. "A bit of Muggle science that comes in handy. Once I received your owl, I immediately found Severus and gave him some Veritaserum, therefore forcing him to give me the instructions to make the antidote."

"Oh, thank you, Professor Dumbledore," Rachael cried, this time in happiness.

"It's my pleasure. You will be happy to know that Severus Snape has been fired. I believe Mr. Potter was right all along; I should never have trusted him."

"I imagine James would have told you the same thing."

"Yes, he would have. Now, I have to go back to the castle, good night." And he was gone with a crack. Mr. Griemer asked Rachael and Mrs. Lupin to leave the room for only a few minutes so he could check on Lily one last time. The two exited the room and waited in the hallway.

"Rachael, you're crying again," Mrs. Lupin pointed out, as Rachael had burst into a fresh batch of tears.

"I know I am," Rachael said. "I just can't believe it… she's going to be alright! For the first time in months… she's going to be okay."

Lily didn't wake up until late the next morning, and, at that time, she was not in any mood to talk. She spent the rest of the day dozing in and out of sleep, not taking any food when it was offered to her. Rachael and Mrs. Lupin waited patiently for Lily to come around and talk to them; they knew she needed some time to collect herself. They could only imagine how terrified she felt before she fell into the nearly lethal sleep. Though there was the nagging thought in the back of each of their minds that told them repeatedly that maybe, just maybe, that was what Lily wanted. Rachael now knew of Lily begging the Healers to let her die, but she probably did not mean it. She was in so much pain that it drove her to say things she never would mean.

Around noon, two days after she received the antidote, Lily was found to be returning to her normal self… the way she was before January. Rachael was sleeping in her usual chair, Mrs. Lupin had returned home at her daughter's request. Lily was sitting up in bed, having managed to scrounge up a copy of the _Daily Prophet_ from one of the Healers. She was reading the headline, which described Professor Snape's expulsion from the school. She could hardly contain her grin as she read. _Filthy git got what he deserved_, she thought viciously as she read his comment about doing this under his own accord and not being ashamed about it. Turning the pages rather loudly, Rachael jerked awake and was surprised to see her daughter reading.

"Good morning," said Lily lazily, looking for an article of interest, and finding none.

"Morning," said Rachael. "How are you?"

"Fine… the cuts on my stomach still aren't healed yet, but Griemer said they should be by tomorrow and I should be able to go back to Hogwarts by the end of the week. And I don't have to take the N.E.W.T.s until August, according to McGonagall."

"Really," Rachael said, surprised by Lily's brisk and lighthearted answers… this was most unlike her. "I wanted to talk to you about something actually."

"Sure." Lily folded up the paper and focused her attention on her mother.

"When you told me Snape frightened you into keeping this information a secret, I didn't know what to say. But I do now… You should never let someone scare you into doing or not doing something, especially when your life or someone else's is in danger. Do you understand me?"

"Loud and clear."

* * *

The next day they received the biggest shock in the _Daily Prophet_. With the two of them being at St. Mungo's for all that time, they had completely forgotten everything that was going on around them. The shock they received was definitely one that they couldn't believe; they thought it would never happen. There was a large picture of Harry Potter on the front page and the headline blaring above him:

_**The Boy Who Lived Defeats He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named**_

Harry had fulfiled the prophecy made by Professor Trelawney many years ago and Lord Voldemort was dead at long last. All around the country there were celebrations going on and one going on in the hospital as they were reading the paper. The Healers were running up and down the hallways yelling at the top of their lungs, "YOU-KNOW-WHO IS DEAD!" They hardly needed to yell it out, as everyone in the world knew. Harry had come through for them at last… he had completed what he set out to do. The Wizarding World was safe once more.

* * *

Lily stood out on the grounds by the lake, skipping stones in the lake and enjoying the sunset displayed before her. She couldn't remember the last time she had just spent her time lazing about, not agonizing over anything. She watched as the Giant Squid's tentacle surfaced and flung the rock back at her, causing her to duck to avoid being hit. She laughed at this and threw it back in the water. Leaning against the birch tree behind her, she mulled over everything that had taken place in the past few days. It had only been three days since she returned from the hospital and the N.E.W.T Examinations were well under way, but she was exempt from them until she took them in August.

She only needed to spend the week in the hospital until the wounds on her stomach healed, leaving nasty looking scars in their place. Madam Pomfrey was making her take potions daily to reduce the appearance of the scars; they tasted horrible but it was a small price to pay. Drinking potions was nothing compared to nearly dying. When she shut her eyes, it felt like a weight was being lifted from her, but she could vaguely hear her mother's cries. She wanted to say that she was going to be okay, that the pain was gone, but she couldn't. When she felt the warm liquid rush into her mouth, she suddenly felt herself swallowing it and the life coming back to her. She couldn't wake up, however much she wanted to, so she allowed herself to stay in the peaceful lull.

Then there was discovering that Lord Voldemort had finally been defeated. This was the news that elated her; no one had to worry anymore. No one had to look over their shoulder, or take security measures to ensure their family's safety. All of the Death Eaters had been rounded up and sent to Azkaban where they would _really_ be in high-security cells. All around the castle, students could be seen being much friendlier to each other and the students who had been taken out of school returned, even if it was just to take their exams. Students who had been nervous wrecks were now fully confident, even Neville Longbottom found that he could pass his exams.

She picked up another rock and threw her arm back to toss it, but someone caught her by the wrist as she did so. Turning around, she was surprised to see Jacob Lawrence standing behind her.

"Hi," she said, surprised but not unhappy.

"Hey," he said, lowering her arm, but not letting go. "My dad told me what happened to you."

"How did he know?"

"He had to give you CPR. He told me he was coming to your house to apologise for being rude to you in his shop. He went to St. Mungo's and, when he heard you weren't going to make it through the night, he came to tell me." He took the stone and skipped it in the water, and took Lily's hand once again. "Why'd you go to his shop?"

"Because I didn't like not talking to you and it wasn't in your best interests to break it off and it wasn't in mine either," Lily replied, looking out across the lake and watching the sunset as it cast a pink glow over the grounds. "I acted on impulse, I guess. I didn't want you and your father to be mad with each other, seeing as how I had just gotten over a fight I had with my mum. What made your dad come around anyway?"

"I didn't tell you he did."

"You mean he didn't?"

"No, he did. It was when he heard you might die; he thought that if you did make it through the night than it was a shame that he ever used your name against you. He listened to everything. He figured you weren't a bad person… and neither was your father."

Lily smiled at this… that was all she wanted after all.

"How are the exams?" Lily asked conversationally.

"Oh, they're going well. I mean all I want to do is get into the Ministry… it's not like I need top grades for that or anything," he answered sarcastically.

"All I want to do is teach… how hard can that be?"

"You'd make a good teacher; you're a lot like Professor Lupin."

"It would make sense; he's my uncle after all. And I'd like to be as good a teacher as he was… It'd be nice."

"You would be good; the students would love you." He sighed and ran a hand through his hair with his free hand. "I hate to get back on this subject, but I have to let this out. I was really scared… I thought I'd never see you again."

"I was scared about that too, if any thoughts crossed my mind that was probably one of them." Jacob opened his mouth to speak, but Lily stopped him, a smile lingering on her lips. "Please don't say anything cheesy."

"But a situation like this calls for it," he whined in a mocking fashion. "And seriously I have to… I really didn't think I could live without you."

"And that was as cheesy as you can get… 'I can't live without you?' You need new lines, you-"

"Oh, just shut up and kiss me."

He pulled Lily closer to him and kissed her like he had never kissed her before. When they broke apart he could see that Lily was smiling… but for two reasons. One was because she obviously liked what had just happened but the other…

"Merlin, that line was worse than the other one!" she shouted playfully.

"Oh come on," he said exasperatedly. "Let's get back up to the castle."

And, with that, the two made their way back up to the castle and for the first time in a long time Lily felt that everything was going to be alright. She didn't have to worry anymore.

* * *

The Hogwarts Express screeched to a halt and, for a while, neither Harry, Ron, Hermione nor Lily wanted to get off. If they got off then it would really mean they were not going back… not as students, at least. Their seven years of living in that castle had come to an end. They were never going to go back on this train on September first and wait for the new school year. But, looking around in defeat, the four gathered up their trunks and owl cages and slowly made their way out onto the platform. They waited silently for the signal that it was safe to go through the barrier. When they received the signal, they hesitated until they were forced through. Coming out on the other side, they saw their parents waiting for them, though they were not in any hurry to meet them. They had to say their goodbyes while they still could.

Harry turned to his three friends.

"This is it then?" he said quietly.

"This is it," Hermione confirmed. "We're finished."

"Finished," Ron repeated, gazing longingly at the entrance to Platform Nine and Three Quarters.

"No more," said Lily, also looking at the platform entrance.

"I guess we should say goodbye now?" Harry suggested, wanting to get it over with before it got too upsetting.

"But it's not really goodbye," Lily said suddenly, causing the other three to look at her. "Not really… it's goodbye to our schooldays at Hogwarts, not to our friendship."

"And who knows? One of us might end up working here one day," said Hermione hopefully. "This is more of a 'see you in a week'. Remember we planned on visiting Hogsmeade after the full moon?" she added looking at Lily.

"And that would be a week from now," she said nodding. "See you then."

"Yeah, we'll see you guys soon," said Ron.

"_Real_ soon," added Harry.

With a hug to each of her friends, Lily went to join her mother, who was waiting patiently with Mr. and Mrs. Lawrence. Lily looked behind her to see Jacob approaching them, but he was taking his time, as he was talking to Terry Boot and Anthony Goldstein as he did so.

"How was school?" Rachael asked, giving her daughter a hug.

"Good," Lily replied. "I talked to Professor McGonagall about teaching at the school and she said in two years I could possibly teach Charms if I wanted to."

Rachael smiled at that; Lily would make a good professor. Though she probably would rather teach Transfiguration, she knew better than to think that Professor McGonagall would be retiring any time soon.

"You're going to Hogsmeade with Harry, Ron and Hermione next week, right?"

"Of course, after seven years of living with them, I can hardly be away from them for a week," she said with a laugh.

"We'll be leaving soon. We're just waiting for Jacob to come," said Mr. Lawrence, glancing over at his son.

"Oh yeah, you're coming over for dinner," said Lily, having momentarily forgotten.

Mrs. Lawrence nodded from beside her husband. Lily realised that this was the first time she ever met Mrs. Lawrence. It was only right to be polite and shake her hand, as she was the first parent who gave Jacob consent to see her. Jacob finally broke away from his friends and joined up with his parents. Once Jacob had greeted his parents, Rachael glanced at her watch and then the clock on the platform barrier behind them.

"Well, I suppose we should be heading back to our place," she said.

"How are we getting there?" Lily asked, knowing that Mrs. Lawrence was a Muggle and could not Apparate like her husband, son or the Blacks. Luckily, they had the answer to that question when they ended up riding Ministry cars back to Rachael's house. They all got into the car and drove away from Platform Nine and Three Quarters for the last time…


	11. Epilogue

Epilogue

For the two years following her seventh year, Lily Black worked full time at the Three Broomsticks, as she was much too young to teach at Hogwarts, even though she had received top marks on her N.E.W.T Exams. It was a particularly hard time for her; she was still living with her mother and she was earning only minimum wage. She wanted her independence and that meant that she had to work twice as hard in order to earn enough money to be able to move out. However, on her twentieth birthday, Professor Dumbledore surprised her with the news that Professor Flitwick had retired and the position for Charms Professor was open. Despite the fact that she was much better at Transfiguration, she took the job and began teaching at Hogwarts once the new semester started.

She soon discovered why her teachers had been so strict with her. Teaching a group of rowdy adolescents was no easy task, particularly when she was ailing from full moons. She found that, at times, she had to be hard on them when the situation called for it. Even so, she became one of the students' favourite teachers, always trying to keep the class interesting and following in the footsteps of her late uncle, Remus Lupin. She still kept in touch with her three best friends from Hogwarts – Hermione Granger, Ron Weasley, and Harry Potter. Hermione and Harry had entered the Ministry of Magic, both holding the position of Aurors, while Ron had become a professional Quidditch player, playing for his beloved team - The Chudley Canons. Jacob Lawrence changed his career goal from working in the Ministry of Magic to working at St. Mungo's Wizard Hospital. On the side he worked tirelessly in finding a cure for werewolves, though all of his efforts proved fruitless. He never did give up hope.

Rachael Lupin continued working at the Ministry of Magic, occasionally taking time off to visit her daughter at Hogwarts. Her visits usually fell around the time of a full moon, when Lily needed her most. Even after Lily was completely cured of her infection from the Wolfsbane Potion (which Lily never touched again) Rachael worried about something coming back, though nothing ever did. Along with taking breaks to visit her daughter, she would use the time to visit her ill mother, Anna Lupin, who died on January 14th 2003, one day before her granddaughter's twenty-third birthday.

Life was good for all of them, once Rachael and Lily got over losing Mrs. Lupin. For Lily it only got better when Jacob Lawrence proposed to her at the age of twenty-four. Of course Lily accepted gladly and exactly one year later, on July 15th 2005, Lily Black and Jacob Lawrence were married. The wedding ceremony was performed by the pastor at the church that Lily used to attend when she lived with the Jameson Family, whom she still remained in touch with. The reception that followed took place in the Great Hall at Hogwarts, where Professor Dumbledore graciously offered the space to them. Lily, who didn't have her father, Sirius Black, to walk her down the aisle, was walked down by Mr. Jameson, her adoptive father, and Mr. Lawrence, as well.

Lily continued working at Hogwarts and, when Professor McGonagall relinquished her position as Transfiguration Professor to take the position of Headmaster once Professor Dumbledore passed away peacefully, she offered the position of Transfiguration teach to Lily, who took it in a second. The vacancy for the Charms teacher was filled by Ginny Weasley Potter.

Two years after their marriage, Lily and Jacob welcomed into the world a set of fraternal twin boys. The first boy bore a striking resemblance to his mother; he had green eyes (a trait of grandmother, Rachael) and sandy brown hair. The other bore a striking resemblance to his father with his black hair, though he had the bright blue eyes of his mother and grandfather, Sirius. It didn't take the two parents any time at all to figure out names for their twins. The two twins were dubbed Remus Michael Lawrence and Sirius Jacob Lawrence.

Lily knew that life was never easy, not for her, or her mother, or her uncle, or anyone who had to endure what they had to. She knew that she would never forget the horrors of the tampered Wolfsbane Potion. She knew she would never forget those who helped her get through it all. As she and Jacob looked at Remus and Sirius, she knew that this was the beginning to a new chapter in her life… a chapter that would be filled with happiness, and no one would be able to take that away from her.

_**The End**_


End file.
